Cheers to another long weekend! tomorrow I go back to work. It’s not as though I dread Mondays. I like my job as an HVAC technician. My days consist of changing filters and performing maintenance for furnaces, humidifiers, air conditioners and heat pumps for houses. I get the occasional commercial call but there are several other techs on my team that specialize in commercial which is why when a call for a no heat at a commercial property came in tonight, I was surprised it was routed to me. The call came on my work phone telling me I had to go to the Bakers for an emergency, no heat. Bakers is a code name for a business just outside of town that pays my employer for an enormous amount of money in the form of a retainer, in that if anything goes wrong an HVAC technician will be there in under an hour. I am not sure what the actual names are for the Bakers. I read the notes for the no heat call on the work order. Typically, the notes would say something like change batteries for thermostat or collect on delivery $110 for service that sort of thing. I read through the rules stipulated for this customer. They seemed silly to me.
Rule 1: Cell phones & all personal belongings must be kept in bin upon arrival.
Rule 2: Remove your boots after entering the green lit door.
Rule 3: If a door is lit green you may enter. If it begins to turn orange hurry.
Rule 4: If a door is lit red do not enter.
Rule 5: Minimize conversation with the Bakers. If you have questions, you may address the lady of the house, but do not ask her name. Address her as Ma’am.
More instructions will be given on site.
I didn’t really read and absorb the rules, it was more of a skim reading. When a tech gets a call for a no heat it is high priority to get there as fast as you can and get them heating again. If for example the tech doesn’t acknowledge the call immediately a backup technician is called, and boss notified. I am towards the bottom of the leaderboard at work. It’s not that I don’t try. I am the least experienced plus I have a busy life, and don’t always volunteer for overtime. My annual review is coming up. What better way to impress them by accepting this call tonight and solving the no heat problem. My wife wasn’t a fan of me leaving right during the kids’ bedtime. When I leave the house at night for these types of calls, I worry that she suspects that I am having an affair. She never said this but if I was in her shoes I might wonder. I wish I could show her the email & work order, but it is confidential. I could lose my job if my wife accidentally uttered any contact information, she read from it. I don’t want her to worry. I get in my work truck and drive 20 minutes according to GPS to the Bakers. While driving I got a call from Ron. Ron is the lead tech and frankly I was surprised he wasn’t the one getting this call.
Me: Hey Ron, what’s up?
Ron: You heading to the Bakers, right? What’s your ETA?
Me: GPS says I’m about 20 minutes out.
Ron: You read the rules?
Me: Yep, sort of skimmed them. Says no boots. That’s strange, that’s part of the uniform & at the last safety meeting was told that if caught wearing sandals or shoes at a work site that it is cause for termination??
Ron: Follow all the rules. Write them down and keep them in your tool bag.
Me: 10-4
In my head I was chuckling there’s no way I am writing all this down. I can remember the rules…
Ron: Good see you on the other side. & Whatever you do call her Ma’am
Ron hung up the phone. I drove along the highway and got a prompt from the GPS to turn right in .2 miles. It is dark out, but I know this highway well. There is no road in .2 miles. Technically there is a road, but it is one that dead ends after about 1000 feet. I pull over to the side of the road, this highway has zero traffic on it. I expand the GPS with my fingers to see if the larger map view will reveal an alternative route. To my surprise not only are there no routes but it only wants me to drive a short distance after I make the turn. There’s literally nothing there, no houses, businesses, nothing only a road that dead ends. I figured that I have been given a bad address from dispatch. It’s not the 1st time it’s happened. I called dispatch and Janet answered. She’s my favorite service coordinator. Janet is the type of person that gets in early and stays late. She’s nice when she wants to be and mean when she needs to be.
Janet picks up the phone and says, “Have you arrived?”
Me: I think you accidentally sent me the wrong address; GPS says turn right but there’s nothing here.
Janet: Tony, turn right, drive a short distance. Park truck, Turn off lights & engine. Keep windows rolled up. Don’t call again until after you are finished.
Me: 10-4.
I hung up with Janet and thought about how weird all this is. I turn right, park the truck after driving a short distance, turn the lights & engine off and wait. I sit there in complete silence and darkness. It’s a cloudy night, usually the moon would provide some illumination the only light I have is from my cell phone screen reflecting off my truck window. Then I feel it, I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. The truck started to inch forward. I double checked that my truck was in park & the engine is off. I am moving forward, probably one or two miles per hour. The best I can describe it is that the truck is on a conveyor belt or something like it. I wonder to myself why none of this is in the notes, why didn’t Ron or Janet tell me this part? I still don’t know why I didn’t jump out and run or turn the truck on and get out of there. My gut was screaming at me to do so, but I kept thinking this was part of the secretive nature of the Bakers. I trust both Ron & Janet, if they thought I didn’t need to know this, there’s a reason. For a moment I consider the possibility of my coworkers playing a prank on me.
Clark, my boss is one of those sophisticated mechanical engineers. He can fix anything with a motor or anything that runs on electricity. Clark is always serious with me, but I know of stories where he has playfully pranked others. Like this one time at a Safety meeting there were over 100 people in attendance. The person running the meeting had a slide up on the PowerPoint telling everyone to put their phones to silent. After a moment passed Clark purposely called DD who isn’t as tech savvy with phones – He’s considered an Old timer, anyway DD’s phone goes off, it was really loud and it caused the 100 attendees to laugh. The person running the meeting shouted at DD to turn his phone off or leave in his truck next time. Even though Clark would be capable of engineering something this elaborate I would question the motives, the money it would take and the Why do it? Plus, I’d hear something or even see some shadows it’s dark but there’s just no way to pull this off.
The slope of my van starts to point downwards. It’s not a drastic change in direction but I am headed down a hill. There is no way this is possible, the road was completely straight, no hills. I started to panic because I saw my phone had no bars in the top right corner where they normally would be. I moved along at one or two mph pace for what seemed like an hour but really was only five or ten minutes. The truck stops or rather the conveyor stops. It’s silent, no lights but I know that I’m underground. I can feel the humidity has increased, even with my windows closed I can smell the dampness of an unfinished basement. Suddenly, as if a breaker had flipped, all the lights in the room turned on at once. My eyes struggled to adjust from all darkness to pure light. The walls, ceiling, and floor were covered in black paint, but not the type of paint you’d see on a fence or railing. It’s that black textured paint that gets used to soundproof rooms. I didn’t notice it at first but there was one door lit green in front of me with a message board above it. It said:
Welcome Sir, you are in parking lot C. Follow the green lit doors and complete the tasks within the allotted time. If you are running out of time the green door will start to change to orange, this is a sign to pick up the pace and finish the task.
WTF I am going to be timed? It’s true that we are billed out by the hour, for instance if I am doing heat maintenance I must complete in an hour, but that is a production metric used by the employer. I started to think of ways I can end this call. I did not consent to going underground. It’s not that I am claustrophobic, but I like to know where the exits are located. The only visible path is forward. I know my Truck didn’t get here from magic, but there’s no obvious signs on the walls of how I entered parking lot C. The walls probably move on Hydraulics. I am aware of things like this, but nothing stands out like buttons to control the walls or even which walls move. There was no venting which I guess is why Janet told me to turn the truck off otherwise I’d have suffocated from the toxic carbon monoxide fumes.
I grab my tool bag & bucket. The bucket is really my chair I use when working on furnaces. I grabbed a few filters and a box of AA batteries. It’s surprising how many places use AA batteries for smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. I open the green lit door and walk through it carrying all this stuff. The door closes behind me and turns red. The room is about 10X10 square feet. There’s a camera on the ceiling in every corner of the room. Another message board with a timer is counting down from 25 minutes. The message reads:
1.) Remove work boots, clothes, & strip naked.
2.) Take out all tools & place on table for inspection.
3.) Remove Bin from under table, locate uniform, and put it on.
4.) Put all personal belongings in Bin.
I re-read the message a few times. There’s no privacy in this room. I think about walking out where I came through. Rules be damned. I should think these rules are unreasonable, but I’ve come this far and its not as though there’s a woman in here or a that I am doing anything morally wrong. I tell myself to stay calm and complete the tasks on the message board. It doesn’t seem to be a sexual motive to the task. It feels sterile like when you go for your physical and the doctor tells you to turn your head and cough, and even if it’s a woman doctor with gloves on no one is enjoying the test.
I strip naked. In a slow 360-degree spin with my arms stretched out wide I make sure that the cameras get a good look. I consider bending over so that whoever is watching gets mooned. I remember that this is a client, and I am there to fix their furnace, not moon the camera person even though it would be hilarious. I put my cell phone, truck keys, wallet, and clothes into the Bin. I laid my tools out, this isn’t a full inventory, but it was mostly diagnostic tools manometer, amp reader, thermometer, flashlight, 1/4 & 5/16 screwdrivers, needle nose pliers, impact driver, socket set, wire brush you get the idea. I have a lot of tools on the truck, but I try to carry only what I need. I happenstance look at the door I came through. It was red, there was another door that was changing color to orange. I looked up at the timer countdown and it was under 5 minutes. How did I lose track of time! I had already used up 20 of my 25 minutes. I quickly throw on the uniform and leave everything behind and walk through the green/orange lit door.
Outside is a well-lit hallway that goes only in one direction. I can’t tell whether its north/south/east/west only that it went one way. I hope I can find this room again. The walls of this hallway remind me of a lot of concrete, they were smooth to the touch instead of being cold & damp like you’d expect underground they were warm. About 20 feet away is a large room. It is hard to gauge the dimensions because the ceiling is the shape of an arch or a dome. But I’d estimated it to be higher than 100 ft. It then dawns on me; I am inside a bunker. This room is huge. There is no one here but I smell fresh coffee. There are 15 desks that were in operation. It reminded me of my employers headquarters each desk had a computer, a chair, filing cabinets, and phones. The desks were spaced about 8 feet from one another and where’d you’d enter and sit down were lights. All the desks were lit red, except one was lit green. I get the hint and go to the desk lit green.
As I sat down on the chair the computer screen turned on as if the keyboard or the mouse had been bumped. On the screen was a list of items. Welcoming me to the Baker Bunker and giving me a list of to-dos. The first item was an instructional video one you’d expect to see if it was your first day on the job like an orientation video. I really didn’t pay attention; office work has never been for me. I love fixing things, getting my hands dirty. Some of the highlights from the videos where about the 5 rules, picking up trash, being respectful of others, you know the basic stuff. I felt my eyes getting heavy, the stress of everything combined with sitting in a comfy chair made me extremely sleepy and watching a boring ass video was too much for me. I fell asleep.
I awoke at the desk and looked around the lights to the room were now off. The only light was coming underneath a green lit door. I don’t know how long I was asleep. There were no clocks, even on the computer, and my cell phone was in the other room. I carefully made my way to the green lit door. There was some light coming from the red desks so that I didn’t stumble around too much. I opened this door and walked through it. It’s a mechanical room – The furnaces are massive, the kind you’d expect to see on a commercial rooftop. I wonder how they get enough airflow here. The room is large for a mechanical room. In front of the furnace is a table with all my tools, even the ones from inside my truck. My entire inventory of stock items was put on shelves stacked along the walls. This would have taken someone at least a day to do. The parts on my truck are not kept together. My truck may appear to be chaos, but to me it’s organized chaos. Someone went to a lot of effort organizing all this stuff.
I looked up and saw the message board it read:
Complete 5 heat checks and the timer counted down from 6 hours.
I was immediately angry. I was called out of this weird call on a Sunday night. I haven’t been able to call my wife or kids they must be worried sick. Who knows if it’s still Sunday or is it now Monday. 6 hours is a fair amount of time. Furnace maintenance is something to do on Monday through Friday 8 Am to 5 PM. Not something we do overtime. I stewed for about 10 minutes, there was no one in this room to vent my anger to. Normally I’d call Janet in dispatch and let her know how disgusted I am. I was alone.
I get started at least it’s only 6 hours of work. I’ll get done in four or less and leave this crazy place. I change all the furnace filters at once, shut them all down and do preventive maintenance: verify incoming gas pressure, clean flame sensors, that sort of thing. I was in the zone. I tested each furnace from the control board. You see, normally furnaces are controlled by the thermostat. You probably have one in your home. A thermostat is placed in one or more areas and can detect the sensible heat in the air if you get hot or cold you adjust the thermostat which in turn tells your furnace to turn on. There are no thermostats in this mechanical room. I must rely on my experience on how to turn on these furnaces. I take out my 24 volt rated jumper cables and jump power to heat on the board. I do this on all furnaces, and they all turn on. I verify the sequence of operations for all 5 furnaces. I looked above me, and the clock only lost 3 hours. This is the fastest I’ve ever done 5 heat checks. Almost as though I told it to the green lit door opened. I figure there are cameras somewhere in this room.
I walked through the door and entered a space that reminded me of a studio apartment only not crappy. It had a TV/DVD set up, no cable, a couch, futon, kitchen area 3 doors all lit green and a landline phone. I entered the apartment, the door closed behind me and turned red. And then I smelled it. It was a hint of perfume. I realize that I am not alone. I call out “hello? This is Tony. I’ve completed the maintenance just trying to find the exit.” Then I see her. She’s shorter than me, probably 5’5 140 lbs. She’s dressed up nice, her outfit reminds me of what a woman would wear if she was a guest at a wedding. I wasn’t spooked seeing her, she shot me a warm smile and waved me to come closer. She didn’t give me her name and was holding what looked like an iPad. It was a video feed. She said laughing “Look at this, quick you’ll miss the best part.”
I realized it was me on the video, apparently, I talked to myself in the truck. When I was on the conveyor belt or whatever it was. It looked like I was pooping my pants. You could see on the night vision camera how scared I looked. And here was this small person laughing hysterically at my mental anguish. I wouldn’t describe myself as a violent person, and I’d never hit someone but realizing that I may have been subject to a rich person’s joke at my expense was a little too much for me to handle. I didn’t say a word. Even though this is extremely messed up and unfair, she is still the Baker. I could complain or go public about everything that has happened, but they have my naked body on camera. I started to think of all the ways that it could be used or edited to for blackmail. The lady of the house sensed the elephant in the room and began complimenting me for following the rules to the letter, finishing my work ahead of schedule, without talking about my nude body she made compliments on how fit I was, sort of flirting with me a little, but in a polite or innocent way. I don’t wear a wedding ring because I work with high voltage and don’t want to get electrocuted, but I make a comment to the lady of the house explaining that I’m married and have kids and need to get back to them.
She had a puzzled look on her face and tells me that the office told her the work assignment is for one week, and that each day I’ll have at least 5 furnaces maybe more to work on. Wait 5 furnaces each day? That’s 35 furnaces. In my head I contemplate how large this bunker is. The lady of the house saw my wheels turning as if she read my mind and said There are 7 levels we are on level C tomorrow you’ll be given a map and where to go. She kept mentioning how all this was all discussed on the orientation video “Ha” I thought to myself she hadn’t gotten to the best part of the video where I bored myself to sleep.
She got off her chair and began to try and leave. I stepped in front of her, not purposely blocking her, it’s just what happened. But wait, I said. Again, she smiled and looked up to me. Yes? She replied. How do I let my wife know that I’ll be here all week? My son needs a ride to an appointment tomorrow, I have a lot of things to do. I can’t be here for 6 more days on short notice. The lady of the house said this was all covered on the video, tomorrow you can rewatch the video and take notes. She stepped past me and went through the green door. As it closed it turned red.
I scanned my apartment. I mean I assume it was on the video that this was my apartment but who knows. There were two remaining rooms that needed to be explored. One was a bedroom that had a bed, dresser, with more uniforms identical to the one I was currently wearing. The other room was a bathroom. It had a large hot tub styled bath a separate shower, toilet, sink and a bunch of toiletries the kind you’d expect in a nice hotel room.
I checked the fridge. It was stocked full of all kinds of food I love to eat; this was a large fridge the kind that cost upwards of $20k Enough bud light to last a month or longer. I was only gonna be here for a week I thought to myself I can’t let it all go to waste. I grab some cheese dip, chips & three beers, and head to my bed to relax and fall asleep. I have a way to post to reddit that the Bakers are not aware of, at least I don’t think they know how I am doing it. The post only allows me 4000 characters so I will be posting part 1 & part 2 at the same time. Forgive me I am not as literate to how to do this on reddit.