Ill be honest I don’t remember much about when I went to sleep… It was a casual night I was in my dorm room scrolling through Reddit listening to the rain. It was around 12 when I finally closed my eyes and let the sound of rain and thunder consume my thoughts and lead me to sleep.
I’m not sure how long I was asleep before I opened eyes. When I did I barely had time to gather my thoughts before I fell through my bed into blackness. Typical dream stuff right? I don’t know how I become aware that I was dreaming I just knew. Keep in mind I’m not a common lucid dreamer. I didn’t panic and even felt a chill of excitement becouse I knew I was going to lucid dream. I had only had a lucid dream once before and was overjoyed too get to experience it again.
I stayed calm and remembered what I had read and slowly began to say you are dreaming in my head over and over. When I was confident I wouldn’t forget that I was in a dream I decided to leave the dark pit I was slowly falling into. I tried to reach back into my room and that’s when shit went south. When I reached my arms out I was instantly sucked further into the void feeling my stomach drop. I was confused why I couldn’t control the dream and admittedly panicked and closed my eyes and tried to wake up.
After a bit I opened my eyes and was back in my room and calmed down. I had worked up quite a sweat in the small time I had been asleep. I wanted to check the time to see how long I had been out but when I went to move I couldn’t I could only look around I knew it was sleep paralysis. Despite not lucid dreaming commonly I had experienced sleep paralysis fairly often and I knew It would pass. But after not being able to move for what felt like hours I started to panic.
I closed my eyes and counted to three then tried with all my might to move… no luck and then I noticed it…A large man that stood in front of my closet standing around 8 feet tall with a face that wasn’t real. There’s no good way to describe something like that. Made by my own brain but something that my brain couldn’t comprehend. And his face… his face was the worst part. Made from shiny white porcelain with eyes blacker than the deepest pits of hell. but his face changed… and I don’t mean once or twice. I mean it made thousands of facial expressions every second laughing, crying, screaming, loving, hateful, disgusting, maddening faces.
every time I blinked he got closer. He was about 3 feet away when I shut my eyes for good. I squeezed my eyes shut for what felt like hours I finally built up enough courage to open them up. I dared a look around my room and set up. I pinched myself to make sure I was awake and I felt the pain I had to be awake I knew it. I looked at my alarm , it was a little past six I had so much adrenaline pumping I decided I didn’t want to risk going back to sleep.
I laughed it was a scary dream but that was it my mind just fucking with me. That day went by just like any other day went to class, talked to friends had a healthy bowl of ramen for supper. And as I got out of the shower and opened curtain he was there… just looking at me with its changing face and eyes from hell. I lost all the air in my lungs. I desperately gasped for air but none came. It bent down as the edges of my vision turned dark as my lungs begged for air. The last thing I saw was it’s ever changing expressions on that sickening white as my shut down.
I woke up gasping for air. I couldn’t believe it I was sure I had been awake I pinched myself and threw cold water on my face again. It took a few days to be sure I was awake but finally a week had gone by and no sign that I was dreaming. I was finally convinced I wasn’t dreaming,that is until I was on the drive home for the weekend to see my family everything was as it usually was just a boring drive through Iowa with my music turned to max. I went to change the song and when I looked up there it was in the middle of the road and my car just stopped. I slammed on the gas but the car didn’t move it didn’t even rev up.
After that didn’t work I repeatedly tried opening the door to no avail. I froze when I heard the sound of crunching I looked around frantically and realized my car was being crushed. But that was impossible becouse there was nothing on or around my car. I frantically pulled at my seatbelt to no avail. The window all shattered at once spraying razor sharp fragments at me and leaves multiple gashes across my body. I screamed as the car my legs were crushed first and as the roof and doors met my head and the sides of my body it may have been a dream but the pain was real. And then as I felt the life literally being squished from my body.. you guessed it I woke up.
I have died three more times since then each worse than the last sometimes an hour after waking up some times a week…It’s been a month sense the last time it killed me. All seems fine and normal but Ik one day I will meet that… that thing again and he will find a new way to take me out more miserable than the last.
I haven’t tried talking to anyone about it I just spend my days drinking trying to drown my fear. I don’t talk to anyone because nobody is real even you if your reading this I’m sorry to say… but if my subconscious has some words of wisdom for me it would be appreciated….