This is a second post for the rest of the story, it was too long for one post.
Part 1 https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/16dx70u/im_a_fae_scorn_hunter_parts_1_15_link_to_pt_2/
Myff loudly belched from the couch where he sat next to me, and then scratched his little hairy fairy belly. We were both exhausted. We had spent the last several months training me to become a hunter. I’ve learned a lot about the fae and cryptids.
Do you know the difference between fae and cryptids? It’s people. According to Myff, humans imagination carry with it a power of manifestation. That’s right. Manifestation isn’t only used by yoga podcasts and sexy hippies. Specifically, a cryptid is a fae, or a spirit, that in some way interacted with humans in the human realm. Once this interaction occurs, stories of the sighting must be told and retold. Every iteration of the original fae encounter causes the storied fae to slowly gain a physical manifestation in our realm. These will produce off spring, though typically in limited amounts as their nature, as a fae, is to generally avoid detection.
The reason other fae, like faeries, pixies, kinds of goblins etc remain as fae is because their stories are told addressing them as the fae they are.
So first of all, I want to tell you all about a fae I recently saw. It was a playboy bunny wearing a scandalous parka that lives in my house. Tell everyone you know.
Second of all, I have a new house guest. Her name is Brookie, she’s a Brownie. Not like the edible confection, but the fae. A tiny, wingless, house helper. Her goal in life is to serve, to create a pleasant space for owners of a house. The only issue with having a Brownie in your house is you MUST thank it for everything it does. Should you not, your adorable, friendly, and helpful Brownie could become upset enough to become a Boggart or a Goblin.
Well. Brookie isn’t my first Brownie. My first Brownie moved in while I was in the fae realm with Myff when he broke my neck. I guess I’ll start this story from there.
Once we finished introducing me to my new fae power, Myff brought us back to my house. Myff dropped in and landed softly on my bed. I came back to the human world about a foot next to my bed, dropping an elbow WWE super star gone A list actor Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson would have been proud of, straight to my nightstand. Given the angle at which I fell, I hit my elbow which made me punch myself in the face. Myff’s laughter was salt to the wound. Sometimes I really just want to light him on fire. I wonder if he’d blow up like a fire work.
At this point, I was honestly out of energy. Since I woke up, I’ve [READ THE BIBLE], showered, crab walked, fell off my dresser, met a fairy, pissed off a fairy, got banished to the shadow realm (fae realm if you’re slow), got hired by the fairy, the fairy broke my neck, then unbroke my neck, told me I had superpowers and that I was basically like a Deadpool’s own “Spooderman”.DedPoo?Probably.And then he dropped me on my nightstand. And I punched myself in the face. I was pretty much done.
I awoke sometime later to the sound of glass sliding across my bedroom floor. I lifted my head off my arm pillows. Noticing the wet feeling of drool on my cheek and forearm, I wiped them dry on my blanket that was hanging off the bed next to where I fell asleep. I heard glass sliding across the floor again and remembered I had a cat. Was my cat playing with the glass? I flopped over, too sore to try any graceful movements, and said “Hey..Cat.. Fuck off..” as I rubbed my eyes. When I opened them, a tiny little lady with light brown hair and big eyes was standing in front of me.
She stared at me intently, as if considering what I said, and a frown slowly began spreading across her face.
A sing songy voice projected from above me “He didn’t mean it!” It was Myff. “Thank you for helping!” He jumped off the bed and landed on my head, grabbing my ear lobe and aggressively whispering “What the fuck are you doing Ash?! That’s a Brownie! Are you TRYING to die?!”The Brownie looked at Myff, smiled, bowed, and then went back to moving the glass around. I swatted Myff off my head and sat up, looking around the room. It was absolutely spotless.
“Hey” I said to the Brownie, “Did you do all this?” motioning around the entire room.
She looked at me and nodded. A little smile that reached her eyes made my heart flutter.
“Awwww,” I said in reaction to the cuteness, a dumb smile now occupying my mouth, “Wow, thank you.” She curtsied and went back to cleaning.
Myff was now hovering next to my head, and he grabbed a handful of my hair. “That is a BROWNIE, Ash. Do you know what a Brownie is?” The anger in his voice wasn’t subtle. Before I could answer, he continued. “A Brownie is a fae that is here to help you. She’ll clean up after you, bring you knicknacks and do little things to make your day better. Sounds pretty awesome right?” he said, finally releasing my hair.
Rubbing the sore spot on my head, I replied, “Yeah, actually that does sound pretty nice.”
Myff nodded as he agreed, then said, “Well, the thing is, she’s one of most dangerous fae to humans. If you don’t thank her, or if you make her upset, she can very easily lose herself and become a goblin or a boggart.” Myff didn’t take his eyes off her as he spoke.
“Why would she turn into a goblin?” I said, moving on to my next thought, “I barely notice if I forgot to eat, let alone little odds and ends that might get changed.” I wore my worry on my face, apparent by my puckered eyebrows.
“Well, sucks for you.” Myff exclaimed. “You can’t ask her to leave without offending her. And then you run the risk of her turning.”
“Oh.” I said.
“Yeah.” Myff said.
Just then, my cat came in to the room. The Brownie saw her and disappeared, the piece of glass she was moving was now spinning where it was left on the floor.
My cats name is Bob. When I first got her, I couldn’t decide on a name. I called her Bob as placeholder until I found the perfect name, but Bob stuck. So now I have a girl cat named Bob.
Bob is a long haired calico, she’s 3 years old and I’ve had her since she was but a wee babe. Bob walked over to and nuzzled against my leg. She lovingly looked up at me, the saw Myff. Myff froze and stared at her.
“You see me..?” Myff mumbled under his breath in astonishment.
A low growl crept out from deep within Bob’s chest. I looked up at Myff and he actually looked scared. Glancing back down at Bob, she was all floofed up. Super floofy. I’ve never see a cat more floofier than her.
Another low, drawn out mrrrroooowwwwww escaped Bob. Then, Bob became the bestest, then worstest ever kitty. She sprinted across my lap and up my chest, scratching my nipple (imagine if I stopped there) as she used me as a springboard to get to Myff. Everything the followed happened in slow motion.
Bob was fully extended, claws out as she came after Myff’s head.A smile was spreading across my face.Myff was frozen in place. Was that fear?
Bob reached Myff and swatted the shit out of him. Like NBA Allstar and big tall man Shaquile O’neil dunking a ball in his prime. Bestest cat.
Myff rocketed to the ground and guess who was trying to sneak out of the room? None other than our new Brownie. Myff was smacked directly into her because why not, and they were both sent sliding across the floor into the glass that was neatly stacked. Worstest cat.
I caught just a glimpse of Myff’s eyes in this slow motion moment, concern and guilt written all over his face.
Time resumed as Bob landed on the bed, and then dashed out of the room. Myff and the Brownie smacked the wall. Myff quickly rose to his feet and screamed at me to run. The Brownie was doubled over as she made an eerie series of short, low grunts. She heaved, her breaths getting deeper and longer as her delicate frame began to stretch and tear.
Myff was yelling something at me, but I was absolutely transfixed on the Brownie. I don’t even think it was fight, flight, or freeze. I was just awe struck.
I watched as her skin tore, and she unleashed anguished growls in retaliation. Her flesh bulged as her bones grew from underneath. She was so bloody. She was pounding on her head with her fists, screaming now. Blood poured from her ears, eyes, and nose. Her screams were wet and bubbly from the fluids in her throat.
She stumbled around for a moment until she grabbed the door frame. Bracing herself, she dug her nails into either side and bashed her head against corner over and over and over. The cracks and squelches did little to mask her howls. Her head started to fall apart, bits of bone and flesh began falling around her feet. She was still growing. Now I was terrified.
Where her mutilated head once sat was now a seeping, fanged, screaming monster, slick with blood. Myff grabbed my head. “ASH!” he screamed. “MOVE!” as he threw me to my feet. I couldn’t move though. It was blocking the door. Where was I supposed to go?
“What the fuck is that?!” I quietly shrieked.
“A Goblin.” Myff replied quietly this time.
The Goblin finally stopped beating its head against the door and was instead looking over its shoulder as it stared at us. Even though it was a little less than half my size, I knew I was nothing but prey.
The low, raspy growls never stopped at is took deep, steadying breaths. A raw rage burned deep in its pink eyes.
“Myff?” I whispered again, not taking my eyes off of it. “Myff, do the magic thing. Like.. Right now, please.”
“I can’t.” Myff croaked. “I used up all my juice jumping back and forth between the realms and stabilizing your power.”
“Fuuuuuck” I whispered.
“Yeah.” he replied.
The Goblin roared and lunged at us. Myff shoved me over and I hit my fucking elbow on the god damned nightstand again, and the Goblin soared between us and smacked the wall on the far side of the room.
I screamed like a big big manly man and sprinted towards the bedroom door. Myff was right behind me. We broke out of the room and went careening down the hallway. Like the Goblin, we also smacked a wall. We instantly shoved ourselves off the all and began running down the shorter hall to the left that led to the kitchen. The Goblin launched into the wall we just pushed off half a second ago, and it broke into the drywall. It let out a scream like a pig being roasted alive, which sent true fear through my bones.
We broke out into the kitchen just as the Goblin regained it’s foot and continued its pursuit.
“Grab a weapon!” Myff yelled, grabbing my paring knife off the counter and wielding it like a sword.
I panicked and just reached for whatever was close to me, not looking because I was watching the entry way for the goblin to come barreling in. Just as I found something, it came in. Myff screamed courageously as he dove down and buried the paring knife deep in it’s foot.
“Now!” Myff directed me. I knew what he wanted me to do.
I used what was in my hand and slammed it over the goblins head, screaming with my eyes shut. A large cloud of white erupted from the bag I grabbed. It was flour. I hit a fucking goblin with a 2 pound bag of flour.
Everything was screaming now. Myff and the goblin were pissed, I shit myself, and Bob… Well Bob was the hero. She came sprinting into the kitchen from the living room, still super floofed, and lunged at the Goblins neck. She nailed her target, tearing a little chunk out of its neck. A copious amount of blood boiled forth from the wound, and Bob dissappeared back to my room.
The Goblin was furiously screaming and clutching at it’s neck, trying to the stop the blood. It ripped its foot backwards, basically cutting the foot in half and freeing itself from the knife. The flour was mixed with the blood and quickly turned into a crusty dough. Its eyes were sealed shut and Myff wasted no time.
He flew up above the Goblin and dove back down through it’s skull. A deep squishy thud was heard as Myff continued through its body.
The Goblin stood for another moment, extremely confused about what just happened. It took a step towards me, two steps back, and then fell forward on its face, no longer moving.
I screamed in victory and jumped up and down. “Myff! Myff you did it! You killed it!” I shouted gleefully, looking around for him as I did. I didn’t see him though. “Myff?” I questioned, my excitement quickly waning. “Where are you?”
I paused for a moment and listened, and noticed something was moving in the Goblin. “What the fuck!” the muffled scream of a distressed Myff resonated from its belly.
“Myff?!” I yelled as I dropped to me knees and pushed on it’s stomach. I felt Myff in there.“Push like the again!” I heard him say, “It moved me a little bit! I think I see the way I came in!”
I pushed again and the foulest odor flooded the room. I instantly wretched. Oops. I turned back toward the Goblin to push again, and I wished I had a camera instead. Myff mostly made it out, and he did find a hole. It wasn’t the one he entered through though.
Myff was sticking halfway out of the Goblins ass, one arm freed while he wriggled the rest of himself out.
Once he was freed, I was too tired to give me any shit (pun) about crawling out of a Goblins butt hole. We washed off, wrapped the Goblin in a rug, burned it in the back yard and came back inside to finally end the insane day. But there was one more surprise waiting for me on my bed.
Have you ever loved something so much that you just know it’s around you? Like, how parents can tell it’s there kid just based off of some much? Well.. I had that happen to me because sitting on my bed was Bob.. Kind of. She… wasn’t a cat… anymore. She looked kind of like the Goblin? She lost some hair, her proportions were all weird and she looked like she could stand upright if she wanted to.
She hopped off the bed, and slowly approached me, her eye’s locked on me. Was I going to have to kill my fucking cat? Slowly, she stalked closer. My fear rising with each step. Was this it? A moment I never thought I’d have to experience? The moment I kill my best friend?
Nope! Bob trotted right on over to me and gave me a pretty mighty headbutt boop kind of thing and started purring. I think it was purring. It sounded like an ogre gargling marbles. I reached down hesitantly and scratched her head. She happily meowed but that was all fuckered up too. It was like a baby inhale crying. It was an awful noise. But that my cat now!
Oh yeah and Myff came in and freaked out and I told him to leave her alone and after watching us for a while, he agreed to let me keep her as long as she behaves. If she starts to act more like a goblin though, he’ll kill her without mercy.
Now my cat is a lumpy cat goblin. A domesticated Fae Scorn. A Cablin? I like Cablin.