“Do you think he’s gonna be there?” I asked Crystal for what seemed like the fifth time while applying another coat of mascara.
She snorted, “Oh, geez, Lola, don’t be so desperate. It was a one-time deal. Just forget about him already.”
I mean, she had a point. Obsessing over a man I barely even knew was ridiculously embarrassing, but I hadn’t been able to get him out of my mind for the past week. In fact, he was the only reason I was even going to this party. Sure, clubbing had the potential to be fun, but after the night I’d shared with him last Friday, I knew nothing could ever come close.
The thing is, I didn’t even get his name. I’d been inebriated enough not to ask and have been mentally berating myself ever since. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what he looks like either. Don’t laugh. Looks aren’t everything. In fact, they’re barely anything. I was drunk, my vision was blurry, and the venue was dim-lit. Some people don’t retain any events from their drunken escapades, but I recalled everything with perfect clarity. Aside from his appearance, that is.
I wasn’t too bothered about it though. Whatever he looked like, I could deal with. All that really mattered were the moments we’d shared and the way he’d made me feel. I’d never met a man this charming before. In fact, I didn’t even know it was possible. His voice was husky and deep, which made the sweet nothings he’d been whispering all the more sultry and inviting. He smelled good too. Better than anything else in the world.
Ever since that night, I’d been tortured by my own thoughts, unable to eat, sleep, or concentrate on anything for longer than five minutes. I tried to track him down on social media, but finding a faceless person is hard. The only shred of rationality I had left screamed to hear his voice one more time. There is no common sense in love. There’s no logic in it either. Whenever I thought of him, every cell in my body went haywire. I needed to see him again. I needed to find him.
“You’re just mad I didn’t bring you last time,” I said to Crystal, my cheeks prickling, “I already said I’m sorry, I couldn’t get hold of you!”
She smirked, “Yeah, I’m not an easy gal to find. But you said you don’t even know what this guy looks like! How do you expect to recognize him?”
A wave of frustration washed over me, “It doesn’t matter what he looks like, Crys! I wish you’d stop bugging me about it. People are more than their looks.”
“Okay, if you say so,” she seemed defensive, “I just mean, what if he’s like… in his seventies, with gray armpit hair?”
Crystal clearly found the whole situation quite humorous.
“Then… then he’s… well, what’s wrong with being old? You won’t find it so funny when your son or daughter is getting up in your fat rolls to shave your pits!”
She squealed with laughter, “Yeah, right! So, you’re looking to do what, exactly? Walk him across the road, help administer his meds…?”
Sometimes, I felt like strangling her.
“I’ll help you into an early grave if you don’t shut up about it,” I gave her a pretend whack, “People in their seventies don’t go to clubs anyway. He must be in his thirties - tops, right?”
Her brows shot up, “Shall we go find out, then? This oughta be good!”
It was no use. She’d never understand. But then again, she’d only ever had people falling for her, and never gave the time of day to potential suitors. At least that’s what she told me.
#
The venue was already bustling with energy when we pushed past the bystanders and made our way to the front door. The air was hot and heavy, and we hadn’t even stepped inside yet. Well, I certainly felt that way, although the people around us seemed comfortable enough in their coats and jackets. My heart was galloping in my chest, and I could feel perspiration trickling down the nape of my neck. What if I couldn’t find him? Or, worse, what if he was with another woman?
I flashed my ID vaguely at the bouncer, who seemed just as distracted. He waved me through, and I hastened my stride, trying my best to look casual.
“Put a lid on it,” Crystal hissed, “You’ll embarrass yourself.”
I knew she was right. I knew it, but I had no control over my body anymore. My legs were doing their own thing, and my eyes kept darting back and forth, searching for something - anything, I could use to help me. Eager to stop and take a proper look around, I plopped down on one of the cushioned bar stools and ordered an Aperol Spritz.
“Any sign of Mr. Right?” Crystal nudged me.
There wasn’t and she could undoubtedly see it on my face. How was I going to find him by the sound - no, by the memory - of his voice in a packed venue? I downed my drink and signaled to the bartender for one more.
Crystal shot me a reproving look, “Easy there, tiger. Wouldn’t want to miss out on your golden opportunity because you were puking on the bathroom floor, hm?”
“What if I never see him again?” I wailed into my glass, and saw the bartender give me a concerned look, “What if he doesn’t recognize me?”
She put her arm around my shoulders, “I got you. Who needs men anyway?”
Well, I do, but I didn’t bother telling her this. Crystal was the only friend I had, and I wasn’t about to exchange her for the man of my dreams. Or was I? I mean, most friends grow apart eventually, right? This man, though, he was the real deal. Perfect in every single way. He held me in his arms and said he never wanted to let me go. He told me he wanted to run away together. He said it would be us against the world. He-
“Lola, breathe,” Crystal waved her hand in front of my face, “Come on, look, you’re spilling your drink!”
My Aperol Spritz was trickling down the side of the glass and onto my fingers. I licked them off hurriedly.
“What’s gotten into you?” she sulked, “You’re totally lost in your little fairy-tale!”
“I can’t help it,” I sobbed, “I just miss him so badly.”
I really did. My chest felt heavy with despair. I felt absolutely crushed. Crushed by the fact that I didn’t know who he was, devastated because I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again, and heartbroken because I wasn’t sure he’d even remember me. What if he was standing in the crowd somewhere and I didn’t know it?
“You can’t miss him,” Crystal protested, “You don’t know who the fuck he is, okay? Look, you’re all sticky now. Go to the bathroom, get yourself cleaned up, and let’s get out of here, yeah? Plenty of fish in the sea!”
I swallowed. She was right. I mean, I couldn’t just sit there all night, without even the slightest clue as to what I was looking for. I’d have to accept that the encounter was a one-off and try to forget about it. Fate’s a thing, right? If we’re meant to be together, we-
My thoughts were cut off when I noticed a familiar face emerge from the crowd.
“Lola? Girl, let’s just go.”
I gestured for her to be quiet and nodded in the general direction of the stranger.
“Is that him?” Crystal asked, squinting, “Which one is he?”
Keeping my eyes on the man, I slowly slid off my seat, “It’s not him,” I whispered.
She huffed, “Well, what’re you looking at him like that for, then?”
Electricity was sizzling through my veins and making me light-headed. For a moment I feared I would pass out. My heart felt like it was about to leap straight out of my chest. It hadn’t been a drunken hallucination, after all.
“He’s…” I wet my lips, “He’s the guy that introduced us.”
Crystal inhaled sharply and I immediately knew she disapproved, “What? The guy in the capri pants?”
I nodded slowly, careful not to let him out of my sight, “He was there when I met him.”
The man in question was making his way through the swarms of dancing partygoers, clad in beige capri pants and white sneakers. It was surreal. A sign from God. A true miracle. I was about to start through the crowd to meet him halfway, when Crystal piped up again.
“Are you sure?” she sounded uncertain, “Lola, maybe let’s just get out of here? You’re not thinking straight, and people are starting to notice.”
I could see people nudging each other and giving me little side-glances, but frankly, I couldn’t have cared less. This was my chance. My one in a lifetime opportunity. It was real. He was real. He had to be. Even if this guy didn’t have a clue what I was talking about, I had to try. My pulse was racing, and I was struggling to catch my breath. It was now or never.
“Yeah?” he shot me an apathetic look as soon as I approached him.
“I- uh- hello,” I stammered, “I was wondering if you could help me find someone?”
He arched one eyebrow, “I don’t work here.”
“Oh, no, I-, I mean I think y-you know them.”
“Who?”
I hadn’t exactly planned out what I’d say in this situation. I honestly never thought I’d even get this far. I didn’t know the man’s name and I had no idea what he looked like. How was I supposed to describe him?
“Well?” he slapped the counter impatiently, “Who’re we looking for?”
I cleared my throat, biding my time, “Last week, y-you um… introduced me to this guy…”
He was shaking his head before I’d even finished, “Lady, I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast this morning.”
“Well, he h-had…” I stuttered, trying to mask my dismay. Oh God, I couldn’t possibly tell him he smelled good, “Well, he smelled good.”
His eyes widened in amusement, and I saw the corners of his mouth quiver.
“H-he didn’t really tell me his name,” I rambled on, desperately, wincing at his reaction, “I can’t remember what he looked like, but he had this amazing voice, and we sat over at the bar and talked for ages, and-”
He stuck his hand up in the air, “Oh, I remember you! You’re the girl that started taking her clothes off, aren’t you? Pretty wild stuff!”
I gawked at him, “W-what? No, I didn’t!”
I didn’t like the direction the conversation was headed. Surely, the guy was drunk and didn’t really recognize me.
“You sure did! You must’ve been hammered out of your mind!” he said, adding in a lower voice, “Immediately regretted hooking you up.”
“Do you know the man I was with?” my voice was pleading, “I have to find him!”
He snorted, “You weren’t with any man, sweetheart. Everyone was pretty much keeping their distance. Count yourself lucky you weren’t escorted off the premises.”
I blinked at him, bewildered, “W-what do you mean there was no man? I spent all night with him!”
“Nah,” it was evident he was getting irritated, “Listen, if this is your way of getting free stuff, then don’t bother - I only speak cash.”
There was no point in trying to convince him otherwise. He had no idea who I was talking about. He seemed to recognize me from a compromising situation I’d never even been in. I wanted to lie down on the counter and weep. But I couldn’t stoop to that level. Not right now.
“So?” his tone was icy, “Do you want it or not?”
I followed him outside and we circled the building until we found a sufficiently secluded spot. He waited while I counted out the sum in five-dollar bills and handed me a small zip lock bag of cream-colored powder.
I turned to face the wall, pulling the little seal apart and sticking my nose inside, and - I couldn’t believe it. There it was, that perfect, musky smell I’d imagined for days on end, driving myself crazy with longing. My entire body was pulsating with lustful excitement, and I felt like I could breathe for the first time in what seemed like ages. I didn’t need anyone else. I’d found him.
“Well, have a good one,” he smirked, “But maybe don’t do it all at once this time, hm?”
I waved him away, eager to finally be left alone with the man of my dreams, and then I thought of my best friend. I’d left her at the bar and had totally forgotten about her. I needed to go find her, to finally introduce her to the love of my life.
“Wait!” I called after the guy, “You wouldn’t happen to have any crystal?”