It was a summer afternoon when I followed my elder brother to the deeper end of the pool. Before I knew it, I had lost my footing and started flapping my hands to get out of the water. When I woke up, I was lying next to the pool surrounded by a lot of people. But what stayed with me was the sensation I felt between drowning and waking up, the world I saw that I struggled to recollect. I felt so light, like floating through water.
Growing up, I realized what I saw could be the other side. I was fascinated with it. I took up medicine to work closely with people who had a chance to experience it. I spoke to several people who had such experiences, each described it differently: some saw light, some saw darkness. Some described it as warmth, some as a cold place. Some felt relieved, while others described it as anguish. Some even described seeing the devil himself.
I knew it wasn’t easy to put the experience into words. The only way I could truly know about the world after death was by dying.
The first time, I wasn’t sure it would work. I knew it was suicide, and I still can’t figure out what drove me towards this extreme step. Maybe I knew there was something on the other side, probably better or worse. Anyways the real world didn’t turn out to be great for me and I was ready to bid it goodbye.
I had dialed and called for the ambulance. I waited for the ambulance to get near the gate. The solution I had injected would take 2 mins to make my heart stop, about the time that medics would take to get to me. I had also strapped a defibrillator around my chest, set to trigger in 2 minutes and 5 seconds. When I researched about it online, it was evident that attempting to revive oneself after death is highly unrealistic.
I was ready to go, and within a few seconds, I could feel the injection working on me. Then the lights went off. I was sitting on the same chair, in front of my desk, in the same room, except it was dark and cold. I stood up and walked towards the window. The streets were the same but deserted. I peered out of the window into the cold and dark night, feeling a chill run down my spine. My eyes were drawn to a shadowy figure crawling along the exterior wall of the building. Its movements were jerky and unnatural, its limbs contorting in ways that seemed impossible.
As the creature drew closer, I felt the anguish and despair that people had described to me. Its body was a writhing mass of darkness, shapeless and sinister. Was this the devil that few spoke about? Its eyes, if it had any, were nothing more than glowing orbs fixed upon me, unblinking and filled with a malevolent hunger.
A sense of dread washed over me, as if the creature was calling out to me, beckoning me to join it in the darkness. My hands trembled as I pulled away from the window, unsure of what to do. The creature continued to crawl along the window. It felt as if it was ready to grasp me but was waiting for something.
The fear that gripped me felt paralyzing. What was this entity? This experience wasn’t anything that I had experienced the first time. As the entity stared at me, I felt a strong pain in my chest. I work up on the floor, having fallen off my chair. The light was back, and it took me a few seconds to get back to my senses. Soon the medics were there, and I let them take me for a checkup. I couldn’t believe my defibrillator setup actually worked. Or maybe my first experience had made it easier for me to come back to life again?
I had sought to end my curiosity once in for all but I had just opened up more questions. What was this world that I saw, was it really hell?
It took me about a month to give in to the curiosity and try it again. But this time things were about to turn out different. I took the same dose, this time I set the Defibrillator to trigger 5s later. The Ambulance too was called.
I was back on the other side, it was exactly the same. The same darkness and cold. I went looking for the creature again through the window, this time it wasn’t there. For some reason, I didn’t fear it so much, maybe I thought it can’t hurt me since I am not really dead yet.
I stepped out of my room and walked through the deserted hallway of my apartment building looking for the devil. As I descended the staircase to the lower floors, I noticed a strange movement in one of the apartments. I walked closer to investigate. There, standing near the balcony, was my old neighbor Richard who had passed away a couple of years ago. I wondered if I could actually meet the dead here on the other side?
Richard appeared to be in his late 50s when he passed away, and when I saw him again in this place, he looked just as he did the last time I saw him. Talking to him helped me gain a better understanding of this world. As it turns out, this place was not quite hell, nor was it heaven - it was somewhere in between. According to Richard, when the physical body dies, the soul retains its last known physical state and continues to exist in this same world. These souls can live on indefinitely unless they are captured by the collectors - the devilish beings that scour this world in search of souls.
So what’s the point of merely existing in this place in between? According to Richard, there is a tunnel that leads to the light, where souls are supposed to go at the time of their choosing. When he first arrived on the other side, he met a group of people who joined forces to find the tunnel. However, their little adventure ended with almost everyone being captured by the soul collectors. Since then, he has been just living in hiding.
I was so engrossed in our conversation that I realized I had spent too much time there. I felt a small tingling sensation in my chest. I had been on this side a way too long. Did my defibrillators fail this time? The sensation I am feeling is it the medic trying to revive me. In any case it did not work.
I spent several days with Richard, who rarely left his apartment. However, I explored the place extensively, trying to meet other souls and learn more about their existence. I discovered that everyone had their own hiding place, such as basements, mall warehouses, restaurant kitchens, or even subways. They all lived in constant fear of the soul collector, hoping to one day find a way to the tunnel.
The first time I encountered the soul collector, I fled in terror, but strangely enough, it paid no attention to me. I quickly realized that I was different from other souls; I felt invincible, as if I were the only one who could walk among the devils. However, that changed one day when I followed one of them to their origin. The soul collector came in and out from a massive, amorphous blob of black cloud, composed of an otherworldly substance that pulsed with sickly green light. The air crackled with intense energy as the collectors jumped in and out of the portal, and a foul wind emanated from it, carrying the stench of decay and destruction.
They were not part of this world, someone had brought them here from another world to feed in on the souls. If these portals could be destroyed, maybe the souls could live in peace again and find their way to the tunnel.
My eyes were fixed on the orb, captivated by its ethereal glow. Suddenly, a jolt sent me flying forward, and a soul collector had struck me from behind. The invincibility I had felt was gone in an instant. Dazed, I struggled to regain my balance, but the shadowy creature was already upon me. Its long, gnarled fingers are grabbing me down. As the soul collector held me tightly, I could feel a strange sensation coursing through my body. It was as if my very essence was being drained from me. For the first time I felt I am no longer connected to my real physical body.
I could see the black smoke-like energy flowing through my soul. It was then that I realized what was happening - the collector was trying to convert me into one of its own. Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my chest, just like the sensation I felt when I had first arrived in this world.
I woke up in an Hospital. I discovered that I had been in a coma for nearly a month. Naturally, when I shared my experiences from the other side with my friends, they didn’t believe me. Everyone thinks it’s a vivid dream resulting from my prolonged unconsciousness, an elaborate product of my comatose state.
So I am leaving behind this letter here in case I don’t come back to life next time. Because there is only one way to find out.