No one could hear my screaming, not even me. When I opened my mouth, the only sound that I could muster was a weak, raspy wheeze. My attacker didn’t seem fazed in the slightest. After he took my wallet from my trembling fingers, he raised his gun slightly higher and pulled the trigger. A harmless click echoed throughout the alley, after which he sprinted out down the rainy street.
“It could be a form of Dysarthria. Are you on any medications?”, the doctor asked me the following morning. I guess he forgot that I couldn’t answer him directly. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head side to side.
Of course, I wasn’t on any medications. I was 22 and just graduated from Ole Miss. I was in peak condition. It’s been three days so far and I still couldn’t utter a single audible word. It feels like I’m in a sort of dream where my brain can’t catch up to events that are happening. I wanted to keep asking why this was happening to me but unfortunately, I had a sneaking suspicion what it was.
I was being punished…
It all started when I joined the local choir at my church. My grandma and I had always been close. She made absolutely sure that I went to church with her every single Sunday. In fact, she was the one that recommended that I sign up for the choir at our Southern Baptist church.
“You might even meet some nice girl”, she teased me. I didn’t know about that but there were some baddies at that church so I thought… why not? Maybe some beautiful girl would see me up there, jumping and singing and then instantly fall in love with my amazing moves and spirit.
I had one itty bitty problem. I just couldn’t sing at all. In fact, my singing was so off key that I feared that they would kick me off the choir to spare the congregation’s poor ears. So, I did what was only natural. I just pretended to sing at church. My mouth moved flawlessly without any accompanying noise escaping my lips. A sort of holy lip-syncing that I could do better than any pop star diva out there.
And it worked perfectly!
It only took a few weeks before I actually did get the attention of a girl. Her name was Michelle and she had the most beautiful chestnut eyes that I had ever seen. It was after services one day when she came up and said she really liked the choirs singing today. We got to talking and I learned a bit about her. Apparently, she had just moved to town to open up a nail salon with her sister and they were both fairly religious.
“You better be careful, playa. You can’t lie to some girl in church. You’ll get punished for that, homie…”, my coworker and best friend Darrel told me. I told him how I met Michelle and our instant connection. Instead of being happy for me, he instead looked concerned. His sudden warning made me feel a bit defensive.
“Why what do you think will happen? It’s not that big of a deal, man…”, I countered. What did he know anyway? He clearly didn’t have any basis to give advice, I thought. He was known to have a reputation for being a player and was even making moves on the new office temp Kezia. She was a cute Gypsy girl that had started working at the office months ago. She was constantly being hit on by Darrel. I felt so bad for her. Last week, I even saw him grab her inappropriately in the supply closet. She looked at me like I could do something about it but it wasn’t really any of my business.
“I don’t know man, just be careful is all I’m saying. If she finds out your lying, you’ll pay for it”, he concluded. That I couldn’t argue with, I guess.
When I woke up the following morning though, I realized my throat hurt. I thought maybe I had strep throat, but I did a strep test and it came back negative. I was in a bit of trouble. I have to use my voice all the time at work, and I wouldn’t be able to make sales calls until it healed up. I was able to use a sick day but the feeling of not being able to speak made me feel oddly helpless.
I tried texting Darrel but he never responded, which was odd in and of itself. Normally he responded right away. The biggest problem that I had though was that I had a date that evening with Michelle. I thought about thinking up some excuse and cancelling but then I had a sort of epiphany. If I couldn’t speak, then maybe it would be even better. After all, normally on dates, the more I talk the worse off it goes. If I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t say anything stupid. It was a win-win!
Well, the date went well enough. She accepted my fake excuse about my voice being out from singing too much with good humor. Unfortunately, when I offered to walk her home after the date, that’s when I was jumped by some mugger. My silent response to his lethal threats probably made me look pretty weak in Michelle’s eyes.
So here I am, day three of not having a voice and I’m completely at a loss. I have a bunch of appointments scheduled for neurological testing, which I’m incredibly nervous and scared about and I just keep thinking back to church. Maybe I should just tell Michelle that I’m not singing in church? Maybe then my voice will come back?
This is such a horrible situation to be in. I’m scared even to go out. I saw that same mugger earlier in the day walking by my house. I tried to call the police but of course I couldn’t say anything to the operator, just wheezed some nonsense before they hung up. If the attacker took my wallet with my driver’s license, maybe he knew my address and was trying to find me?
Shit…shit…shit… what should I do???