Thank you to everyone who posted some ideas. I now know what happened. I buy my protein powder in bulk from amazon. And I brush my teeth fairly regularly and dental problems do not run in my family. I have a hard time believing something could cause such a rapid deterioration of my teeth. I started going through my previous purchases on amazon and looked at the protein powder. It looks like it’s no longer sold which is odd. The link doesn’t exist anymore. My roommate Lucy was the one who recommended it to me. I decided to look at my tub and research the ingredients after my appointment.
I turned on a random reality show that help me feel better about my life. I scrolled aimlessly through Instagram looking at these perfect people with perfectly white smiles staring back at me. My hand went back to my gums absent-mindedly picking at the new peppercorn stuck in my bottom teeth. Before I knew it, it was 8 am. Lucy was making noise as she shuffled awake. And my phone went off in my hand.
“Hello?”
“This is Dr.REDACTED office, we have a request for an emergency appointment. Could you please tell us what you are wanting to come in for?”
“Yes I have some teeth that are loose and something stuck in my gums. It’s driving me up the wall.” The scheduler then asked some security questions which I promptly answered.
“Is there any pain?”
“Yes, my gums are swollen and even bleeding. My jaw hurts anytime I move.”
“I can get you in at 1 pm does that work for you?”
“Of course thank you again.”
I decided that with a solution in hand and someone that can use their eyes to see what was plaguing me I felt invigorated. This would be a bad dream by the end of today. I decided to go downstairs and go to the quick mart on the corner hoping to avoid Lucy at the same time. At the mart, I picked up some generic pain meds to alleviate some of the edge. The worst part was that my face was pounding with every step I took. My teeth vibrated in their sockets the loose teeth moving much more than they should. With nowhere else to go I decided to just wander around my block. My apartment had a private gym I liked to use but Lucy would probably look there.
After walking around for about half an hour I decided it was probably safe and headed back to my apartment. Only two and a half hours till my appointment and by now Lucy was gone. I tried to do some basic yoga on my balcony hoping to soak up any sun I could. But doing any movements that required moving my head sent stabbing pain radiating through my jaw. In defeat, I stumbled back to the love seat flopping on the plush cushions.
It wasn’t long after I put on a reality show that I fell asleep. The sleep came quickly but uneasily. This time I was in a dentist’s chair. Dr.REDACTED my dentist was standing over me. He had large pliers in his grip and was forcibly ripping them out of their sockets. The pain was unbearable, my head was pounding, and my vision blurred. All while he cooed in a calming voice;
“We need to remove all the affected teeth. I know it hurts but not long now.”
I woke up screaming at my alarm going off to leave for my appointment. My head was throbbing. I had been planning on cleaning up a little, but with the sharp pain in my head that seemed unlikely. My tongue went to the affected teeth subconsciously. As I reached the teeth they fell loose out of their sockets. Blood started pouring out of my mouth. I ran to the kitchen sink spitting out the contents of my mouth. A sickening clink hit the stainless steel basin. I couldn’t hold my nerves any longer. I retched. My head was pounding my heart beat deafening in my ears. I tried to maintain standing but I felt weak. My arms were gripping the sides of the sink and my body was wracked with shudders I couldn’t control.
My eyes clamped firmly shut I took deep labored breaths until my pulse came under control. I cautiously opened my eyes to look at the contents of the still now-clogged sink. It was a putrid mixture of blood and deep brown chunks I couldn’t decern. It looked like nothing I would have eaten and the smell alone was enough to make the nausea threaten to take over once again. Taking a brief look at my phone I only had ten minutes before I had to leave. I must have been at the sink later than I thought.
I requested the Uber and slowly and painfully got my shoes on and used the mouthwash in my sink to attempt to clean up. I adverted my eyes when spitting into the sink. At this point, I didn’t want to know. I put on a face mask and tried not to feel the gaping emptiness that used to be teeth in my mouth. I went downstairs to go to my appointment.
Thankfully I must have looked about as crappy as I felt. The women about my age seemed to not be one to chat. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on breathing calmly. My eyes closed to try and reduce the migraine. I have always had an impeccable smile. No one in my family had teeth pulled besides their wisdom teeth or even teeth sensitivity. I have no idea how this could be happening to me. The negative thought spiral continued. I was the problem. Everyone else in my family was perfect. They didn’t drink or even drink coffee or soda without a straw. I brought this on myself. I deserve to not have any teeth. I didn’t pursue my perfection enough and now due to my mistakes, everyone would be able to tell that I was disgusting. What kind of person was missing teeth at 24?
In this thought spiral, my tongue went to my empty gums. They were still bleeding profusely. The blood didn’t taste like blood? It was too thick and felt more like pus. The nausea threatened to overtake me again. I focused on breathing again. My years of meditation and yoga brought me back to my center. We arrived at the dental office. I ran inside and straight to the restroom in the lobby, tearing off my mask and spitting again into the sink. I flushed my mouth with water from the tap, took a deep breath, and went to the receptionist in the lobby. I typed on my keyboard on my phone my info for my appointment and handed her my ID and insurance card.
She smiled at me gingerly her features were plain but I would give anything to look like her at this moment. Before too long I was called to the back by the dental hygenist. She was a plump woman who had a skip to her step. She smiled at me widely her perfect pearly teeth mocking me.
“Okay, deary time to take off the mask, don’t worry it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” Her voice sounded musical.
I slowly took off my mask in defeat. She gestured for me to open my mouth her gloved hands using a dental mirror to view the backs of my teeth. I could feel the blood and gore oozing from my wounds but she looked unconcerned. I could smell the putrification on my breath and I tried to close my mouth inadvertently closing my mouth around her instrument.
“ah ah ah now please open your mouth. Could you tell me what you came in for? I see we just did your last cleaning only two months ago.”
My eyes glowed with rage and I furiously typed on my phone.
“can’t you see why I’m here my mouth is wrecked?”
She rolled her eyes. And chuckled.
“Okay well I will go grab the dentist and we will see what we can do for you.”
I scrolled through Instagram on my phone. Perfection mocking me. I need to be perfect.
I could hear the dentist and dental hygenist speaking in hushed voices outside of my door.
“There’s nothing wrong with her. Her gums are bleeding because she is brushing too much or too hard. I have never seen such clean teeth in all my years working here. She won’t listen to me I think it’s a mental issue.”
“It’s not your job to diagnose Helina. You did the intake. I will take a look and see if I can put her at ease.”
I knew that dental hygenist was full of it. She probably was just jealous of me. Jealousy makes women do strange things. I have lost many friends because they couldn’t stand my perfection. She was trying to get me to lose access to medical treatment to have a one-up on me. The doctor came in and asked some preliminary questions. My dentist will believe me there’s no way I could make this up. Using a dental mirror and pick he examined and held my mouth open while he did a movement test on my teeth. As he hit each of my teeth with his pick stabbing pain stabbed my jaw. I winced and tried to not pull away.
But then my worst nightmare came to light. As the dentist went tapping on each tooth there was no resistance. The dentist was knocking each tooth clean out of my mouth. I screamed and pulled away spewing vulgarity and blood. Bile raised from the back of my throat and I puked on the floor next to the dental chair. The dentist looked shocked at my behavior.
“Mam please calm down. I know it’s uncomfortable but it is rather routine.”
I pushed him away and sat up in the dental chair swinging my legs over the side. Tears were freely streaming down my face. I held my mouth with my hand. The hand offered stability to my wiggling teeth. I said in a raspy barely-there voice.
“How can you not see…. my smile… I was perfect. Please give me a perfect smile.”
“I can give you a bleaching if you are feeling self-conscious about how white your teeth are. I cannot in good conscience give you anything else. Your teeth from a medical standpoint are clean and well taken care of.”
I walked out of the room in a daze. Am I going crazy? I went back to my apartment no uber this time just walking and stuck in my thoughts. The pain was barely noticeable now. Lucy was on the love seat laying in an unnatural position with one leg on the back of the loveseat. She was watching a true crime show. She looked surprised to see me.
“Wow, you look like crap.”
I laughed and Sophie looked concerned. I went to the kitchen and looked at the protein powder. No ingredients list. I laughed again this time louder and threw the tub as hard as I could across the room against the floor. The tub popped open at the sudden impact creating a large poof of powder that settled into the air. Sophie started coughing.
“What d- coughing –did you do that for?” Suddenly Lucy looked at me but seemingly above me and screamed at the top of her lungs. She lunged at me her pupils dilated. Lucy is not a large person maybe around 140 lbs and about 5”3’. She easily took me to the ground. She was still screaming and clawed her nails deep into my shoulders. Lucy was changing before my eyes she grew before my eyes, easily a foot taller than me with bulging muscles that pushed the spandex of her loungewear to the limit. I was on the ground next to the kitchen trying to push Lucy away from me. In the struggle, our toaster fell off the counter and landed next to me. A welcoming weapon in my time of need. I used my leg to kick her off of me and turned to grab the toaster desperately. I gripped it with my right hand just as Lucy pounced on me again. I felt her hand clench my hair in a stone grip. She then used her grip hold to repeatedly bash my head into the vinyl flooring of the kitchen. I heard a crack and my vision filled with spots. The noise of Lucy still screaming faded in my ears as I fell out of consciousness.
Waking up was muddled. My head was killing me and I couldn’t hear anything. Was Lucy gone? I dragged myself to my purse tried and dialed 911. I could feel things move where they shouldn’t in my bones. Sharp pain stabbed me in the rips and I was dragging blood with me as I moved. Within minutes the police were at my apartment. I heard Lucy scream and the shatter of glass breaking from her room.
I was lifted to a stretcher strapped down and administered some sort of drug in the back of a car. Lucy was with me, right?
Where…
….
I woke up in an inpatient hospital unit psych ward. I told the counselor about my first post and they recommended I complete my story as a way of trying to find out what happened to me and to bring some closure. My teeth are in place and not loose or causing me pain. I don’t know what happened to me. The hospital is doing tests on the protein powder to see what caused the mental break. Whatever happened to me happened to Lucy too.
She is here with me. I found out after I woke up that the powder interacted with Lucy and me very differently. It fed my anxiety and obsessions which turned into delusions. With Lucy, it activated her fight or flight response and her delusions were much more violent. When I through the powder we both inhaled it which led to an immediate absorption of the chemical. Thankfully after not having been exposed to the chemical, the delusions have stopped. But even now I am using my fingernail to pry anything from between my teeth.
All I can say is be careful of what you put into your body.