Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
It takes less than five minutes for my life to change forever. In the span of five minutes, a mere three hundred seconds, I will lose friends, teachers, my innocence, and if i’m in the wrong place at the wrong time, my life.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
It starts off small. An average day in third period is interrupted by the echo of a loud Bang. Perhaps some underclassmen thought it would be funny to pop a milk container, or tip over the lockers. We are 15 seconds in. No one even suspects what the next 45 will hold.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
The Bang is followed quickly by another Bang, and another Bang, and another. My teacher remains frozen near the board. The trainings for this were hypothetical. This wasn’t supposed to happen - not here, not to us. My eyes flicker around the room. Horror has not yet reached the faces of most of my peers. Confusion reigns even beyond the moment when the first bullet splinters through the door, striking me in the shoulder.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
The pressure is the first thing I feel, and for some time the only thing I feel. My mind shuts off, and I look around for who pushed me to the ground. Red mist floats in the room, and the beauty of it stops me in my thoughts. Like tiny rubies, bright as stars, and crimson as a fiery sunset, they lightly settle beside me. 110 seconds have passed. 12 are dead. 14 are injured.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
My teacher cowers, weeping behind her desk. Another Bang sounds, and quiet falls. Footsteps fade from the room, and my eyes drift away from the red dew drops on the floor. I attempt to stand up, but can’t seem to support any weight with my arm. How curious. I make my way towards my friends who sit near the back of the room. One of my peers lays spread in the aisle, blood pooling behind her. It spreads in a halo around her head, seeming almost angelic. I crawl over her body, unaware I will be the last person to feel her heat. The Bangs begin again, farther away this time. 180 seconds have passed.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
My shoulder has begun to radiate pain, and I seem to have left behind a significant trail of blood on my journey. My friends are dead. Their eyes are open, terror, shock, devastation and unfettered hatred etched forever into their faces. I don’t feel for them - rather, I don’t feel at all. Life has become unnervingly numb. Bangs continue in the distance. It strikes me that I should probably stop the bleeding in my shoulder, but that seems like too daunting of a task. It would be so much easier to simply go to sleep. 15 seconds remain.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Two final Bangs ring out, and a deafening silence fills the room. My labored breathing is the only sign of life. I hear my lungs catch at the top of every breath. In the distance, a bell rings listlessly, signaling the end of third period. A siren fades in, becoming louder and louder, filling my head, becoming so overwhelming that I can hardly breath, hardly think. As if by some otherworldly motivation, I force myself into a standing position. Those sirens are safe. I amble over to the open window, and with one last burst of strength, heave myself through onto the soft grass outside. 300 seconds have passed. 27 are dead, 31 injured.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
I am found within 7 minutes of the first shot being fired. I am one of the few in my class who survives. We were the first room hit. The casualties are devastating. Most call me lucky to be alive. They say it is a miracle that I didn’t bleed to death, that If I hadn’t been outside for the paramedics to grab, I would have been gone by the time they breached the building. I’m not sure if I would have preferred that. 12 more die in the following days from their injuries. Total count: 39 dead, 19 injured. The detectives ask me questions as I lay in the hospital bed. I can’t find any words to answer. I’m not sure I will ever find any words. The memories replay in my head, an endless loop, an eternal punishment. All of then have one thing in common- the clock on the wall counts down those 5 excruciating minutes, those earth-shattering 300 seconds one by one over and over, time and time again, playing the only sound I will ever hear for the rest of my life.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.