From when i was little, i could sense people’s gazes. When someone was looking at me, i could feel it and would look back at them almost directly. It freaked people out, but i would laugh hysterically whenever i saw their faces.
As my body developed, so would this ability. I could still feel the gazes, but i could also feel the intent that was coming from them. This saved me from getting beaten up by people who were mad at me, but it was also how i fell in love with my wife. when ever her gaze would fall upon me, my body would fill with warmth and delight.
her love was so strong that it made me fall in love with her.
Like you could imagine, i married her. we were married ever since, and only 2 years later, we got pregnant. I was so happy because my whole life, i wanted to be a father, and I was finally going to be one.
To celebrate this, we rented a whole building and invited everyone we knew. Everything was going splendid until i felt it. This horrifying gaze that made me shiver to my bones, i wanted to look at it, but there was nothing there. It only became stronger, and i had to vomit. My wife quickly turned to me and asked me if i was fine, and I told her I was just feeling sick, but she knew that wasn’t it. So we cleaned everything up and excused ourselves.
On the ride home, i could still feel it, but even though i was looking at it, i saw nothing. I only felt the intent to kill me. When we arrived home, she asked me what happened, and I told her that something kept looking at me, something that was mad and wanted to kill me, i also told her that i never saw anything so she told me to focus on it, i calmed down and tried to focus all my senses on this thing, and after 10 of the longest minutes in my life, I saw me, looking back at me, i jumped up because of the face it made, it was a face that I couldn’t make even if I tried to, it was furious at me and i didn’t even know why, that was until I focused harder on it and the intent turned into words.
It told me that i was a murderer who didn’t deserve the happy life i was living it was then that I understood why it was furious at me.
I didn’t tell you this, but i am an orphan. When I was little, i wanted to cook for my parents and sister before going to a party, but i left the gas on, and when i was away, the house exploded with my family in it. I wanted to kill myself because of the guilt i was feeling, but i was sent to a psychiatry to heal, to get better, and to be sent back into society as a contributing member.
But there it was, like a virus that opens up a closed wound.
We went to a therapist, and i told her what happened, i told her that this was the worst feeling that I could ever feel. It was then that i saw it smile for the first time. It was the most creepy smile with teeth that went on and on like the teeth of a shark, i cried for hours after seeing that smile, and the therapist prescribed me something called resperidone.
We got the meds I needed, and I took them as fast as i could. It left, but the smile did not.
I laughed as it was finally over, but nothing could have been further from the truth.
months later, my son was born, and I cried happy tears for the first time in years. He was the most beautiful human in my eyes, and i could feel his gaze of love and trust. It was the most wonderful feeling i had ever felt.
We left the hospital after the doctors checked everything.
After only a couple minutes of driving, i saw it again, but this time it felt stronger. Its smile was even creepier. its lips went from eye to eye, and they began to blacken, its whole body became black, and only his eyes were visible. It walked to me, and I sat there frozen in fear. It entered my gaping mouth, i felt every vein in my body explode every nerve dying out. It took everything over, except my eyes, it left my eyes, so that i could see the light dying in the eyes of my newborn son as it choked him to death, it left my eyes so that i could feel the loving warmth of my wife’s eyes turn into ice cold fear as it ripped the stomach of my wife apart. It wanted to feel the despair in my eyes as i was sent in the backroom of my own head to see me kill my own family again.
The car crashed moments later, and i woke up days later in the same hospital my son was born in, and when I looked in the mirror of my room, i saw me making the same face as it did all those months ago, I felt that burning rage to kill it, but i could do nothing at all.
I am writing this moment’s before taking my own life, as I have nothing to live for anymore. I hope someone can be saved by me writing my story.
I am so sorry for being such a hopeless father