Ever since I can remember, my dreams have been almost hard to distinguish from reality. They range from mundane to bizarre. For example, I missed work last Friday because in my dream I woke up, and went. I can tell you everything down to the smallest detail of what I did that “day”. Ate a bagel on my way out the door, missed the subway and had to wait around for the next one, got yelled at by my boss for sending him the wrong link to my project (again), ate a quick lunch with Rachel (I had chicken salad on a croissant, she had grilled chicken and broccoli), went back to work and sent the right link (thank god), went to Late Nights with Rachel and Michelle for a couple of drinks, caught a taxi home, and finished off the bottle of wine I’d been saving before falling asleep to Gilmore Girls. But I woke up the next day not on my couch where I had passed out finally, but in my bed, to my alarm, at 7am. I thought I accidentally drank too much and turned off my alarm and went back to sleep. Woke up three hours later to a frantic call from Rachel that I was missing a “mandatory” meeting. This has happened a few times before. Projects I thought I had already presented, even people I thought I had already met.
But some nights the dreams take a strange turn. Start out like a normal day, and then I take a taxi instead of the subway and end up brutally murdered in an alley way. Or all the sudden a trip to my parents turns into a high speed chase. But recently a man has started appearing in my dreams. Always following close behind me. And they always end in my gruesome death at his hands. I’ve never met this man in real life and until yesterday I’d never even seen him.
I noticed him on the subway. He wore a dark hoodie pulled up to cover most of his face. But I noticed the one thing that always terrified me in my dreams. His mouth. The corners of his mouth almost reached his ears, and didn’t look cut but like it was natural. His lips were virtually nonexistent, and barely stretched enough to cover his teeth. Spit flicked off his oversized canines as he breathed. He must’ve felt my stare, because his cold, small, lifeless eyes flicked up to mine and a knowing smile spread over his whole face.
Thankfully, it was my stop and I dropped my gaze and ran off. I only slowed down when I walked in my building. I glanced behind me and saw that same dark hoodie across the street. That same smile and those same lifeless eyes staring at me. I rushed inside and tried to bury myself in my work. I willed myself to wake up. But when I left the building, he was still there. He was there on the subway, he was there as I walked home, and he stood on the sidewalk across the street from my apartment building, staring at my window, that same disturbing smile painted across his face. And it was the same the next day, and the next, and every day for a month.
Until today, something changed. I had learned to face the window, to just pretend like he wasn’t there all day, and I convinced myself that made me safe. But on the subway this morning, he slowly made his way over my shoulder. I felt him getting closer, like a dark cloud slowly approaching me, the shadow engulfing me. His hot breath filled my ear.
“You’re not safe,” his voice was barely audible and hoarse, like he hadn’t used it in years. Then I woke up. I’d never woken up in the middle of a dream before. I got up and tried to calm down, I went over to open the window to let in some cool air, when I saw the same man, still on the sidewalk across the street, still smiling up at me. I shivered and closed my curtains again. I tried to go back to bed but couldn’t. I went into my living room and turned on the tv, hoping maybe I could zone out and fall asleep.
About an hour into a cheesy rom-com, there was a knock on my door. I looked at the locks nervously. It was stupid but all I could think about was that man. I turned up the volume and wrapped my blanket around my shoulders tightly. The knocking got louder, more insistent. I debated calling Rachel, but what maybe I was asleep and dreaming all this. Another thought hit me just as hard, maybe the past month had been a dream and the man was nothing more than a figment of my imagination. I gained a little courage at that and tiptoed to the door and looked out the peephole. That smile filled my whole view of the hallway. I jumped back with a little yelp and the banging started up again. I ran to my room and locked the door behind me. I leaned against it and breathed deeply. The banging stopped and I almost went out to go grab a knife, when it started up again. On my bedroom door.