I’m so shaky man I can’t believe it’s finally happened to me
Sorry if there’s many spelling mistakes in this my hands are shaking and my friends are all asleep so I can’t vent to anyone and I need to tell someone about what’s just happened
I as many other women nowadays, am TERRIFIED of walking alone at night. There’s so many women experiencing crap every single day and I’ve not been one of them. I count myself so so lucky that I’ve never had one of those terrifying experiences we hear so much about in the news and online omg you don’t understand how terrifying it is.
I had to walk home tonight from work. I work in a bar so late nights isn’t particularly new but usually I can afford an Uber home. It’s not like I live far it’s just a teeny bit safer for me I hate walking the city streets after dark. Drunk people and creeps galore.
My rent had just come out my account so walking was my only option so I pull on my hat and my hood and my coat to make myself as inconspicuous as possible. I always like to think if I dress like a guy and you can see me and walk with confidence it’ll keep me safe and it’s worked til now. Out the door I strode and down the dim path, blaring streetlights over head and barely a person in sight.
I prefer it when people are around like because it feels like a weird comfort blanket made of strangers because if one weirdo tries something at least someone will have witnessed it whether they help or not.
My eyes stalked the ground watching my shadow as I so desperately do in the dark. It gives me an idea if anyone is following me without the obviousness of looking behind me. As the lights pass over head my shadow split in two and one sharply plunges forward into the first. Watching this keeps me on edge because for a split second the approaching figure never seems to move the same as me.
I watch it approach and join, approach and join, approach and join all whilst my heart feels motionless in my chest and a sick feeling clutches my stomach from the feeling of vulnerability in my head.
Approach and join Approach and join Approach and join-
And suddenly on the approach I feel a thud from behind and a hand grips my face and I’m pulled into the dark alley that jumped out from beside me.
My chest grew tight as my heart tore at my throat to escape- a poke in my side and I see the glint of a knife held to my side.
“Your phone. Now.” A low voice growled.
I was frozen and stumbled over my words.
“I- uh- I- ph-ph-“ the man grabs a fist full of my hair and yanks it backwards.
“Give me your phone now bitch-“ he holds the knife to my face as his other hand digs through my pockets.
Tears well up in my eyes and my throat stings from holding back whimpers.
“Hey- what’s going on here?” A man and two more stop by the entrance of the alley, suddenly the man in front of me takes off down the alley.
My knees take this as the minute to give way and down I fall hyperventilating.
The three men walk over slowly and carefully.
“Are you okay-?” One mumbles.
“He tried to rob me-“ I whimper.
One was on the phone to the police. Those three men sat with me for an hour as I sat silently waiting for the police (thank you).
The police spoke to me for a bit but ultimately what could be done? I don’t know what the man looked like he had a balaclava. One offered me a lift home which I took gratefully. I wasn’t far but I don’t think my shaky legs could carry me.
I thanked the officer at my door and in a walk and swiftly lock it. A shaky sigh slips out my lips and I put down my keys and phone by the door. I stumble into the kitchen and weakly pull open the cupboard looking for a glass. Into the fridge I flow with my glass in hand and pour myself a large glass of wine.
The cold beverage graced my lips and I shudder triggering tears to fall and I quietly sob leaning against the counter for support.
I’m not sure how long i stood there but shortly my legs felt numb and I retreat to the sofa and put on a movie. It was late but I wasn’t about to sleep anytime soon. Something chill or happy so I don’t cry myself to sleep.
Kids film should work. And 10 minutes in I passed out. A loud bang as the door falls from the hinges in the movie jumps me awake and I go to look at the time. My phones in the hallway. I groan and drag my legs up and to the hallway I plod. I rub my eyes.
Phones not there? Back to the kitchen I slump, scanning the counter tops. Sofa? I rip the blanket away the. Pillow after pillow.
Maybe the bathroom…? I stumble into the hallway suddenly quite confused and frustrated.
My eyes flick to the lock. And I stop. I locked that when I walked in, because I would not forget that after a night like this-
My phone is gone- and my door is unlocked and my house key is gone….? My keys had three keys but now only two.
What am I meant to do? I can’t call the police and my house key is gone? And here I am locked in my bedroom on my laptop- you can’t call the police from a laptop right? I need someone to let me know I can’t find it on Google. Please give me advice should I wait until the morning? Should I find something online? I’m so scared rn