/Date: «Unknown»/
Hi, I’m Han, and I’ve always tried to keep a low profile. My genetics are quite good at it: dark and plain hair, short but long enough to fall slightly on my forehead; boring features, not handsome but neither ugly; and my eyes are as simple as the rest of me. Other than on my chin, my beard doesn’t grow more than a few stray hairs, so I don’t bother cutting it.
I don’t have a college degree and I won’t try to get one. I work as a stocker at a local grocery shop, and my (rented) house is far enough from the others for someone to feel the slightest interest to approach it. I don’t interact with many people, and no one puts any effort into trying to be close to me, which I considere as a success. We could say that not my appearance either my lifestyle are something that stand out.
I want to have a low profile. I want to go unnoticed, I want to be barely noticeable.
I wanted to keep a low profile, and I did have one.
It was a sunday afternoon, the sun was already setting, and I was doing the dishes. The cold water was running through my hands and the little crockery I used to eat when I heard an aggressive knocking on my front door. Thinking that it must be my landlord, I dried my hands out and went straight to the entrance to let him in, as I raised my voice assuring him that my monthly payment should be on its way if he hadn’t received it yet. Normally, he would scream at me in response and go before I have the opportunity to face him, but this time he remained silent. I grabbed the handle and turned it, expecting to see the man who owned the house I lived in, and not the one I actually saw.
I swear I tried to keep, for as long as possible, a low profile. I was extremely careful with it, I made my life as insignificant as possible, but after all, they still found me.
The son of a bitch who was standing up on my front porch didn’t change a single bit in all these years. He had the same weight as he used to, wore the same jet sunglasses, dressed in the same black suit that the last time I saw him and not a single wrinkle had appeared on his skin despite the passage of time. I recognized him perfectly, even though I did not want to.
–They are on it again. –he said. Not a “hello”. Not a “how are you”, or “how have you been?” He went straight to the point. Nineteen years have passed since I had the misfortune to see him, nineteen years that felt like a minute now that he was once again in front of me.
–What the hell are you doing here and how did you find me?
He ignored my question. Moving me aside with his arm, he stepped into my home and closed the door using his left foot. Then, as he walked deeper in and began to look more and more stressed, he kept talking without catching a simple breath between his words. I could see how his big arms were shaking and how his face had an absolute expression of fear and horror even if he had his sunglasses on.
–I don’t think they’ve even stopped since. Maybe they were just silent, doing it on their own, working on the project with their own people under different circumstances. But I don’t care about that, it doesn’t matter. Is today that matters, not yesterday. And today… from now on, they are going to work on it again.
–I burned them down to ashes, I made sure nothing remained. –I looked at him straight in the eye, frowning and biting my lips from inside in disgust– I don’t know how you found me or why you searched for me in the first place, but whatever shit they are on, I’m not going to get involved in it.
He put one of his hands on my shoulder and squeezed it firmly enough to give me a few bruises. I still looked at him with the same confidence, letting my eyes speak for me. I was not going to change my mind, no matter which words came out of his lips. There was no way I could be convinced otherwise.
–I heard you go only by Han now. I can get it. I’ve been looking after you for a while, gathering enough courage to approach you and ask you directly. But of course, there was no way that you could accede. I can get it too… But you should understand me, also.
The strength of his hand on my shoulder increased dramatically. The fucking guy was too strong for me to handle it. It was impossible for me to move even if I tried, he was holding me still using just one body limb. He reached into his back pocket with his free hand and took a stun gun. I was looking him right in the face, and I shook my head several times. He knew that what he was doing was not right, he knew that he was going against my will, but that didn’t make him hesitate for a moment. I must admit that I was also able to fight more. I could use my legs to defend myself or try to move his arm with my hands, but I didn’t. A part of me felt responsible, a part of me knew there was nothing I could do to keep from going back there. I sighed and directed my sight down.
Nineteen years of peace that I knew were ephemeral, but somehow I had hope. I used to think that if I reached my thirties without getting caught they would never find me again, and I was only one year apart from it.
–I apologize. –from his voice, it was obvious that he was crying– I’m so sorry. Finish them back, kid. I request you.
I passed out before I could answer. I also cried, but I could blame the pain on the electric shock for it later.
/Date: I don’t know yet./
Right now I’m sitting on a chair, in front of a desk, writing these words down and holding back my tears to avoid them wetting the paper I’m using. Everything is so damn familiar; the smell, the atmosphere, the color of the walls, the texture of the bed sheets and the landscape behind the window, which is completely open but impossible to pass through.
It’s more than obvious, but I’m locked inside what’s going to be my room for the next few months. The door isn’t opening and it’s not going to until early morning, when we’re going to be able to move and walk around for some time until we receive the next order. At least I know their procedure and how they work, if I don’t remember wrong, and I could use this knowledge to visit the exact places that I need to in order to run away.
Well, things will come at their own pace. Now, I’m here to write what happened, not what is going to happen.
I don’t know how much time I spent unconscious, but it could have been days. Still, I woke up some minutes sooner than I should have. My neck was tied to my wrists, which were also tied behind the back of the chair I was sitting on. I couldn’t move my legs either, of course. A thick cloth covered my eyes, so if I didn’t move or make a noise, it was impossible to perceive that I was awake.
–So, you are saying that the life of this one is absolutely meaningless, Christoph?
That ‘s true. The name of the son of a bitch who bought me back here was Christoph.
–I’ve been seeking for people who have none, work at something useless and have a sad routine for years, and I assure you that the life of this idiot takes the first prize. It felt like he was asking to get catched continuously.
–Alright. –said the other voice, chuckling.
I almost chuckled too. Fuck, it was so ironious. Several years trying to go unnoticed restless and it was that that caught me back. I should have spent these years forming a family or building a career, but I was too scared to stand up and call their attention, even if I thought that they were all finished. I also could have denounced their behavior… and it was too late now.
A hand covered in a plastic glove grabbed my chin with two fingers making me “look” up, after opening my mouth with its thumb. Then, I felt a crystal texture lay between my lips and teeth. A smooth, tasteless liquid entered my mouth, which was clamped shut by the same hand as before, forcing me to swallow whatever it was I had drunk.
–Ok, nice. Carry him now, big guy, and lock him in room 136. If everything worked properly, tomorrow he shouldn’t be feral. It could even be kinda difficult to wake him up, and if it happens, let him sleep. We want no one to get angry, right? –the other person laughed again. He sounded young and energetic, and his presence made me shiver.
Christoph obeyed him and had me on his back in a matter of ten seconds.
My body started to feel heavy and my head dizzy. I was going to pass out once again, but once the steps of the young boy sounded further, the voice of the man who carried me kept me on alert.
–Fight it, Han. Force yourself to throw up when we untie you and let you inside your room. Make sure to vomit it all. –he whispered. He should have known that I was awake.
I obeyed him. Even if I barely could stay on my feet, I found a way to crawl like a worm to the (thankfully provided) toilet and forced myself to let all that liquid out. It was dark blue and shiny, it creeped the fuck out of me when I saw it.
I feel better now. They left several minutes ago, so I had enough time to recompose myself. When I had enough strength to stand up and look around, I saw the papers and the ink lying on the desk, and I knew why and for what they were here. I’ll make sure to write it all, everything that happens, and make it as clear and convincing as possible. Here I don’t have access to any camera, tape recorder, telephone, or anything that can prove the truth of all this, so I pray that my words are more than enough.
This time I just want to run away. I don’t have to get attached to anything or anyone here. I’m not going to tear anything apart, nor do I intend to end it all for a second time.