I was with someone for 3 years and in the 3 years i met his family once. Being 2 years into the relationship, he would start arguments over everything for example i bought him lemonade and he didnt want it so he argued with me over it?, he would make small comments about my weight, he told me he slept with someone so i got angry and may have overreacted and threw a glass (not at him) he then attacked me giving me a black eye, he would break up with me multiple times. So one time i spoke to someone else when we werent together and when i went over to see him he went through all my social media and saw, even thought i didnt speak to him since getting back together, he then left me stranded 30 miles away from my house on the side of a road, he would constantly accuse me of cheating.
Even though he knew all my passwords, he always tried to make me feel like i was nothing, he would always be busy and not have time for me, he would leave me in his home without speaking to me so i felt awkward because i had nobody else, my family was telling me he was breaking me as a person, but i couldnt see him doing that because he said he loves me?, he would drink alot and threaten me, and wake up and not remember it, he never apologised for anything he done to me. He would tell me that i weird him out talking about a future together, one day i wanted kids and he found it weird, he asked me to move in and i told him to make room for my stuff and he said “where is my stuff going to go”, i found him on dating apps, dating apps he had on his device 2 days before i came over. And he just gaslighted me. Everytime.
He would ask me to take std tests, he told me i was the reason he failed his Uni course, i feel like i tried my hardest to make him feel loved and maybe i did something to make him hate me or do these things but im not sure? He still messages me every month or few weeks trying to talk to me and i always fall for it. I feel like i try to tell him how i feel and i just get pushed aside and he ignores what i say about how i feel and just say that im saying hes an awful person, but would a good person treat someone like this? Its been 4-5 months since we broke up and i just feel broken? I dont feel like im the same person.
I met him at the lowest point in my life. Thinking he was the light i needed, but he was just taking advantage of me, he would only sleep with me when i was there then turn around for hours on his phone, in the end i felt used and i told him and he would just say “so thats what you think im like” he always told me to speak to him about my problems but when i did i was always in the wrong, A friend of mine SAd me late last here and he told me i wanted it and was ruining his life by saying that, but he didnt realise that guy and him both ruined mine. i just felt like i needed to get this off my chest so if you see this thank you for letting me vent :)