I found my girlfriend’s diary. It happened when I visited her over a week ago. I didn’t open it then, of course. I’m against going through personal stuff. And our relationship has been great. She gives me a lot of space to do my own stuff but whenever we’re together, everything is perfect.
From the first glance I was simply stunned. She is everything I ever wanted and more.
However, strange things started happening lately. Specifically to people who seemed to take my attention away from her.
Of course, naturally you don’t come to the conclusion that your partner is a murderer. I still don’t think that that’s the case. But the strange things started happening more and more often, and I couldn’t help but notice that she’s been using all those inconveniences to spend more time with me while refusing to talk about them.
So, a couple of minutes ago, I decided to open her diary. She’s in the shower right now so I have limited time to write everything down. But I’m scared. I’m hiding in her bedroom behind locked doors. I don’t know what to do. I love her so much. I can’t imagine leaving her. So I want your opinion.
“About Jack… Whenever I fell in love, I became easily obsessed. The person I fell in love with, basically becoming my victim and prey, always suffered a great loss. I make them abandon all girls they’d follow online. Then all female friends. Then all female family members. Sooner all later, it was time to get rid of the male ones, too. Simply said, I became their only hobby, friend, girlfriend, family, sustenance, reason to live, and the only thing they had and needed.
But it so happens that I become bored of these people. Manipulating them is fun. Getting rid of their close ones is fun, too. Seeing the despair they go through as they try to reach for them and figure out what’s happening while my chosen one ignores them with a smile on their face is irreplaceable. That’s what I feed on. Despair and loneliness. In a way, it’s not the person I become obsessed with that becomes my prey. Technically it’s the people around them. I feast on them. I take their hopes away. I take the person who matters to them the most away as they desperately try to keep them close.
But as I get rid of their last reason to exist that isn’t me, there’s no despair to feast on anymore.
They’re happy and content with their lives, because they have all they need. They have me. They don’t need food or drinks, friends or hobbies, family or sleep. They need me. Only me. And that becomes rather boring with time. In a way, my victory becomes failure.
So I leave them behind. Without a single goodbye, without an explanation, I turn around and walk away. That’s the best part. Because it destroys them.
As they lose their last reason to exist, they fall apart. I watch them from afar every time, so that I have something to do while my new prey is busy doing what they enjoy doing, before I take it away from them, too.
I see every step my previous victim makes. Everything they do. I keep keys from their houses. I watch them from their windows. I feed. I feast. I feast as their faces become blank, as their eyes go dark, as their houses become a mess, because no one else bothers to visit them anymore, because they don’t enjoy doing anything anymore, because without me, their lives lose their meaning. Until now, it was only me. And now I’m gone, or so they believe, and soon, they will be gone as well.
I enjoy watching them but it never lasts long. I’ve been doing this for hundreds of years now, and it always ends the same, it never takes long before it ends. Before they… End.
This guy is different, however.
He loves me, I know he does, it’s rather easy to spot in humans. You’re all rather gullible. But his attention was never truly mine. He was a hard worker, he had a lot of friends online, he didn’t care much for his family but he kept them close, anyway. He didn’t really ever care for anything. Not even me. Because while he loved me, for months I couldn’t figure out how to become his priority.
My charm didn’t work. My beauty didn’t work, either. I couldn’t attract him with my sexual powers. I worked so hard. I cleaned and cooked for him, I bought him everything he wanted, in bed I became all he ever desired. I could read his mind and I became what he’d describe as perfect, yet I couldn’t make him only mine.
Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t the first time it’s happened. When there’s no despair to feed on I easily dispose of them. These people are, what you’d call, psychopaths, and they’re not worth my time.
But he was different. God knows I wanted him so bad. He was charming and intelligent. But it wasn’t just that. He had something in him that attracted me so much. I can’t quite describe it. As soon as I saw him I changed myself into the perfect girl he wanted to be with. I gave myself the appearance and personality that caught his attention as soon as he saw me. Thanks to that we became a couple rather fast. But I simply can’t make him take the second step. I’m obsessed with him, but he isn’t obsessed with me.
Every other girl that was important to him I tortured. It started with his crush whom I gave such distress she tore all her hair out until she became bald, which made her unattractive to him. His online friend was too far for me to reach, but her parents lived much closer, so I killed them. That made her take her own life as well and she was no longer a trouble. I showed his boss my true self, I showed him my true appearance, which gave him such distress and paranoia he went completely crazy and got transported to an asylum, but that only resulted in my boyfriend becoming the boss, which made him even busier than before.
I just can’t find a way into his head. He’s not a psychopath, because then he wouldn’t love me. But I just can’t manipulate him because he doesn’t really… seem to care. The more perfect I become, the more distance there is between us.
Has he somehow outsmarted a demon? I’m starving. I have nothing to feed on. I’m so weak. But I can’t get him out of my head. I need him. I desire to have him just for myself. I won’t accept defeat, no matter how weakening this starvation gets.
It has to be only me. Just me.”
She has stuff like this written about multiple people. About Andrew. About Joseph. About Natalie. They all contain horrible things, some even more detailed than what she wrote about me. It’s a lot of things to read through that I didn’t have time for just yet.
Now, I know the easiest thing to do would be to just leave her. But I know she’ll hunt me down if all of this is true.
And I love her. I love her so much. Maybe I can change her. Is that what I should do? God, her smell is getting closer. I can hear her tiny footsteps approaching.
She’ll be here, soon. I’m grateful. I missed her presence so bad.
Am I going crazy? She took my best friend away.
But… Maybe I can… Change her?