“Hello, My name is Enzo, and welcome to Kat’s hotdog house. The best hotdogs in all 18 dimensions”. That’s what I’ve been saying for a week now to things my mortal mind can’t possibly understand. I work at a hotdog house that somehow allows beings from different dimensions to come and eat crappy hotdogs made by me.
I didn’t even want this job, This job wanted me. It was a Tuesday morning around 9:30 am, I got up to take shower, and when I go to the bathroom door I find a paper flyer on it that said, in big blocky letters, “Enzo Hayes of the 14th dimension, you have been randomly picked from a list of people, monsters, and ghost-like presents to work at, Kat’s family-owned hotdog house”. I’m ashamed to say this but that scared the shit out of me. My first thought was someone broke into my house and left this to scare me. I called the cops and told them what was happening, but they said that there was no sign of a break in.
After that is when the weird stuff started to happen, I started seeing that flyer every were I went, even the toilet. I’m convinced that someone was messing with me at this point, and I’m getting tired of it. So in my blazing anger, I decided I was going to go to this place and teach this guy who was messing with me a lesson.
I hoped in my crappy car with the flyer in hand hoping to get some answers. I typed the address into the GPS and was on my way.
I was expecting to see some type of gas station, or a small mobile home turned into a restaurant, nope. What I see when I drive up to the place is an old run down parking garage in the middle of the forest. “ Aww hell no, there is no way I’m going in that thing”.
As you can probably tell, I went in……..
I didn’t just walk in without anything on me. What I had on was my backpack and inside of said backpack was my phone, a crappy laptop that I forgot to take out, and a handgun for self-defense because there is a 125% chance that I have been taken here to be murdered.
I parked my car outside and made my way in. at the entrance there is a small piece of paper taped to the wall, this paper said, “Hello Enzo from the 14th dimension, please make your way to the basement”.
That’s when I snapped and ripped the piece of paper off the wall and tossed it over my shoulder. I was ticked off and confused. I had so many questions, like why the hell does it keep saying “Enzo, from the 14th dimension”?
when I was walking inside the old building, I had a very strong feeling of being watched. I couldn’t stop myself from checking my shoulder every 2 seconds.
When I reached the basement level of the building I could barely hear what sounded like talking coming from somewhere I couldn’t see. Walking in the direction I thought the voices were coming from, I realized that what the voices were saying wasn’t English. or any language that I have heard of before.
When I finally get to where I thought the voices were, there was nothing. all I saw was a doorway with a sign above it that said, “Kat Hotdog house”. I could only stand there in pure confusion. What idiot puts a restaurant in an abandoned building. Where were those voices coming from? I was so focused on those thoughts, that I didn’t realize that someone was behind me and just shoved me into the doorway.
Stumbling forward I braced for impact. Instead of my head hitting concrete, I feel a pair of hands catch me by the armpits. I open my left eye slowly and look at the ground. instead of the dirty concrete that was there five seconds ago, there was a nice clean checkered pattern floor. I was somehow in a different place from where I was 2 seconds ago. Suddenly the hands that caught me flung me to my feet with great strength. The thing that just caught me from falling flat on my face, was a large, green, and hairy creature. The first thing that popped in my head was those monsters from the goosebumps TV show. you know from one day at horror land. anyways, the thing was wearing a 3-piece suit and a toupee and had a large smile on his face.
“Hello, pal, nice to meet ya. My name’s kat from the 8th dimension, and I’m the owner of this fine establishment. And you must be Enzo, from the 14th dimension”.
At that moment, instead of running or pulling out the LOADED GUN that I had on me, I just stood there. I’m pretty sure I peed myself too.
“Well come on now son, you gonna say anything.”
“uhhhhm, Hi”
“come with me son, I’ll show you where you’ll be working”
I followed Kat behind the counter to my ‘work post’ where I have been for the last week. while I was walking beside Kat I saw many more strange things, like a sock puppet with a portal under it where a human arm is sticking out. I also saw a dog standing on its back legs eating chilly fries. It’s not so bad here so far. I asked kat about the ‘14th dimension’ title that I have been given, and he said that there are 18 known dimensions and when you introduce yourself to people it’s proper to say what dimension you are from. and also he said that I am not allowed to leave and if I do he will hunt and kill my family so I’m going to be here for a bit. I’ve just learned to accept my situation and do what kat says so he doesn’t chop me up and turn me into a Weiner. He also gave me a uniform to change into and it has a really annoying hat. it’s like the ones you get from Krispy Kreme.
I’m glad I got this crappy laptop on me so I can document what I’m going through. but I wish I brought my own food, because I’m 98% sure that the hotdogs here are human meat.
I’ll make sure to update you guys as soon as anything strange or interesting happens. until then, my name is Enzo and I am being held hostage at an inter-dimensional restaurant forced to make hotdogs: have a good day.