“As far as sounds from a neighbor goes, it could be worse.” I remember telling my fiancé this after our first night in our new one bedroom that’s priced like a three-bedroom apartment.
“It sounded like someone laughing all night. Not even a ‘Oh man this is so funny laugh’ but like when you get to laughing and just can’t stop, even though you can’t breathe.” Shelby tells me this as she’s pouring herself a cup of orange juice and throws some bacon in a pan, bags under her eyes showing how little sleep she got last night. “You really didn’t hear anything?” She looks at me with a disbelieving look.
“No babe, I didn’t hear anything. Slept like a baby if I do say so myself.” I say as I walk up behind her as she’s cooking her bacon and eggs and give her a hug. “Moving from the middle of nowhere to New York City, we can’t really be shocked if we both don’t sleep perfectly for a few nights. It is the city that never sleeps… I think I’ve got that right.”
“We’ll half of us did sleep perfectly, I guess.” She laughs and kisses me on the cheek. “I can’t believe you didn’t hear it? He was so loud.” She says.
“We were watching Seinfeld, maybe you just heard the canned laughter from the show, and it mixed with a dream?” I say as I sit back down at the bar and sip my coffee. “I mean, how could it really be that loud if I didn’t wake up?”
“Because you sleep like a damn coma patient. Do you really think I don’t know the difference between a dream and me lying in bed listening to a guy laugh?” She turns to me as she crosses her arms.
It was at this moment I knew I was poking a bear which, if not properly calmed, would maul me. Shelby is usually wonderful, but she does not handle my cleverness first thing in the morning… or when she’s hungry… or when she’s sleepy. I didn’t think about the fact that she had no sleep last night, and she always wakes up hungry. I needed to choose my next words very carefully.
Furthermore, I stand and move behind her to kiss her on the cheek and say, “Well, you remember the time you swore there was a ghost in your house that was actually a squirrel.”
“That was different!” Shelby says.
“I love you, see you this afternoon” I say back through the door as it swings closed.
She wouldn’t be upset for long; we had been together long enough, we tried to get under each other’s skin for sport. To be sure, I made a note to myself to pick up a pizza on the way home. She couldn’t say no to me if I had food.
Work was just as boring as usual. It took a little time to get to know everyone, since I transferred here from the other plant in Tennessee. The excitement didn’t last long; however, it seemed that designing floor systems for New York houses were the same as the ones in Tennessee.
I found myself still ahead of schedule, I worked ahead a good but so I’d have a long weekend to move and get everything situated. I really didn’t have any quotes that were pressing, I decided to look up our apartment to see if anyone famous lived in it before us. That’s something people did, right?
Hoping that we unknowingly moved into the apartment Frank Sinatra lived in when he was a struggling musician. I started googling. Surprise surprise… we didn’t. I did find a wide variety of crimes that took place near or in our building. Just a fyi if you are nervous about living in the city, don’t google your new address, it ain’t gonna make you feel better or safer. All it will do is show you the closest restaurants and who got killed where. I decided not to mention this little research exploit to Shelby. I love her, but she was already nervous about moving, her love of Criminal Minds and Blue Bloods definitely made her a bit nervous of them city folk.
“I think I heard someone die earlier.” Shelby says as soon as I walked in the door, looking much more focused on the pizza in my hand than the statement she made.
“What makes ya think that, babe?” I ask as I hold the pizza box out of her reach.
“Well, I heard a really loud bang at about 2, and about ten minutes—Hey, would you give me the damn pizza already! I’m starving!” I hold the box down and open the lid for her to grab a piece, knowing I’m at risk of physical pain if I keep it from her much longer.
Trying to chew and talk at the same time, she continued, “not long after the bang, cops and an ambulance came right by our window. The sirens were on and everything!”
“It was probably a drug deal gone wrong! The buyer most likely booked it after he got the stuff, but didn’t realize the dealer came heavy. So, he got popped!” I say, trying to sound as serious as I can, and grabbing a slice.
“Did you start watching Sopranos again?” She asked, smirking in between bites.
“Why do you think I got pizza?” I asked as I began to eat.
“Nothing exciting today then other than the drug deal?” I ask.
“Nope, I did talk to one of our neighbors in the hall though.” She said as she grabbed another slice. “Kinda an old crabby little man. Just kept asking what room we were in and why we chose that one. It was really weird.”
“He seems like a bundle of sunshine. Why did you tell him which one we were in?” I asked as my intuitive distrust of city folk rose to the surface.
“What was I gonna say, Josh? ‘Sorry sir, I don’t feel comfortable disclosing that information to you, even though you no doubt will figure it out because I’m standing in front of my door as you are asking this.’ I’m sure he would’ve loved that.” Shelby told me as she finished her slice and put it in the washer, then turned to me, hands on hips.
“Well, in my defense, you didn’t say you were in front of the door. If you were why was he asking what number, you were in?” I asked trying to decide if I needed to watch out for crotchety old men in the hall.
“I don’t know! That’s what was so odd about it, I was like right in front of the door he had to have known it was ours.” She said.
“Hopefully, he just didn’t really want neighbors, maybe he’s Chuckles above us. Probably thought we would be keeping him up at night with our banjo playing.” I said losing interest in the conversation.
“He couldn’t hear our banjos over whatever he’s watching that’s so funny anyway. It could be him above us though, the man’s voice was raspy like the one I heard last night. You might not be too far off babe.” As she gets up and walks into the bathroom as she takes her t shirt off.
“Is it shower time?” I ask with a little hope of some sexy time to break in the new apartment. My hole left when Shelby walked out of the bathroom wearing yoga pants and a nicer t shirt.
Walking past she says, “Nope, but it is time to get to the bottom of this mystery Shaggy.”
“I’m sorry what?”
“We are going to go introduce ourselves to the person upstairs, see if it’s the old man or someone else.” She says as she ruffles through the pantry and finally finding the little box of cookies, we bought last night. “Maybe if they know we are here they won’t be so loud tonight.”
“Well, what are you doing with our cookies?” I asked.
“You’ve got to bring something when you introduce yourself, can’t just walk up and say, ‘Hey neighbor!’ and stare at them like a creep.” She told me as she got out a plate and spread the cookies along it and covered them in plastic wrap. “Ta-dah homemade cookies!” She says as she presents the plate.
On the assumption that our neighbor was not allergic to macadamia nuts we set off. Once we got to the door and knocked… No answer. As I was getting ready to knock a second time a guy walking down the hall stopped and asked what we were doing. We told him we just moved in, and we’re trying to introduce ourselves to the building.
The young guy probably 25 looked us up and down like we were from another planet. “You guys aren’t from here, are you?” He asked with a smirk.
“What gave it away?” I asked.
“No, one here wants you to introduce yourself, and you would rather not be introduced to them.” The guy says as he shakes his head at us. “It’s not that kind of building. Some of them are alright, but that’s about as good as they get, alright.” The man said as if he was letting us in on a secret that everyone knew.
“Well, we are better than alright, and we were hoping to let this guy know there’s someone below him, so he would quiet down at night.” Shelby said before I had a chance to respond.
“This one is empty anyway, so I don’t think he’s gonna get much quieter. I’ve got to go to work but if you guys want to get a drink or something sometime, my boyfriend would love to meet you. He’s not from around here either. We are in 307, just down the hall.” The man said as he walked away.
“Look at us, we are already making friends!” Shelby eating a macadamia nut cookie reflected on the meeting as we were lying in bed.
“Oh yes, we are killing it, Shelly!” I say as I snuggle up to her.
“Please tell me you aren’t fixing to go to sleep, Josh.” Shelby said as she rolls over to look at me.
“Well, it is dark, and I’m in bed so, yeah I was considering that crazy idea.” I say.
“Ha ha, but I’m waking you up if they start being noisy again!” Shelby says as she relaxes again in bed.
“You heard the guy, no one lives up there. It must be some other room if you are hearing something.” I say through a suppressed yawn.
“Must be, but someone is making noises! And from here on out if it keeps me up Imma keep you up.” Shelby tells me as she adds in a poke for emphasis.
I’m awoken by shaking and the sound of Shelby’s voice. “Josh, Josh, he’s doing it again!” Bleary eyed I look around trying to rub the sight into my eyes again.
“What baby?” I mutter as I try to roll over and go back to sleep.
“Wake up Josh! I hear him again!” She insisted.
“Ugh I don’t hear…” but before I could say it the sleep wore off enough that I did hear it. Not laughter, it was something else. “Shelby that’s not laughing, I think he’s crying.” Muffled sobs and sniffles, quiet enough you could tell that person didn’t want to be heard but could hold it back no longer. My heart flooded with sympathy for the man. Then I started to think, the sound of the man was not coming from above us.
“Shelby where is that coming from?” I asked hoping she had a better answer than I did.
“Maybe next door?” She replied.
“There’s no room on that side of us we are the end of the building!” We both looked at each other with recognition and fear as we slowly looked at our closed bathroom door, not 6 feet from where we laid. I moved to get up as quietly as I could and looking for something to use as a weapon if it came to it. I remembered I propped my softball bat inside the closet and felt for it in the dark without taking my eyes off the door. With Shelby behind me and my bat in hand raised, ready for a home run swing I crept my way towards the bathroom door.
The sobs became clearer the closer I got. Now at the closed door I could hear words in between the sobs. All I could hear was pieces of the gibberish it babbled. My heart couldn’t take the suspense any longer, I opened the door.
Inside I found a man in an old raggedy suit, holes polka dotting the jacket, tie loose around his neck. He faced the mirror head in his hands shaking with sobs. Not sure what to do I stared at him bat falling from a position to strike.
“Hey man, how’d you get in here?” I whispered feeling dumb and weak as I said it. This guy broke into my apartment, and I’m being polite. As soon as he heard me, he stopped sobbing.
He froze and turned towards me hands still covering his face. I raised the bat again not knowing what to do. It dropped it’s hands to show red eyes from his crying tears rolled down his face in a river. Hands dropped completely reveal a smile. Not too big or happy just the smile you’d give someone after you were found crying by a stranger, a smile of embarrassment. Then it started laughing.
It started with a small chuckle, but it gained steam quickly, soon it was a great breathless guffaw. It’s body was bending a curving under the stress of the air moving so rapidly through its lungs, but it’s eyes stayed locked onto mine.
I wondered if I’d lost my mind or if this was a dream when it raised its long finger to point past me. It was almost doubled over in laughter at this point, it was so loud in the tiny bathroom. That’s when it hit me what he was pointing at, Shelby!
As I turned, I heard the laughter behind me cut out as soon as I stopped looking at the thing, like you hit stop on a recorder. Then I saw Shelby, she was scared but… smiling. Then she was laughing that cute giggle she did when she was trying to keep it in, but she couldn’t. She burst out into maniacal laughter head practically in between her knees she was laughing so hard. Then it stopped. Then she dropped.
She fell limp and went down to the left towards the back of the bed. If she’d fell any other direction, she would’ve been okay. Back she would’ve been on the bed, right or forward she would’ve hit the floor. It would hurt but not like the corner of the bed frame did when she hit her head with a sickening thud.
The rest of the nights a blur, I called 911, we got to the hospital. I remember the doctor saying the words unresponsive and coma, but it didn’t sink in. I was in shock, trying to mentally understand what had actually transpired not five hours ago. What was I gonna do, what should I do. I needed to call her parents, I needed to call my parents. I needed to call someone to listen to me, I felt like I was going crazy.
“Do you have your Wife’s insurance information sir?” The nurse asked.
Did she really ask me that? They are just heartless money-grubbing bastards huh.
“She’s not my wife.” I say as if that’s the main information they need to know. I realize it’s just her job to get insurance information from people. It’s not her fault that this happened. Hell, I don’t think I know whose fault this is.
I call Shelby’s parents to tell them what’s happened, I remove the part of the whatever the hell it was laughing and only give them the barebones. They tell me through tears and screams, that they will be there as soon as they find a plane ticket and to look after her.
The doctor came back and explained to me what he believed to be going on but in short it was he had no clue what happened to Shelby. We obviously know she hit her head and went into a coma but as far as the freezing up and laughing he was just as clueless as me. So, with no explanation and no real hope of anyone getting better I did what I promised her mother. After I called into work and explained what was going on I sat in the chair next to her bed and sat with her hand in mine.
The day became a blur of nurses bouncing in and out as well as me sleeping on and off. When the nurse woke me up to tell us that visiting hours were about to end and after those hours ended, I could not leave the room until morning due to their coronavirus protocols, I decided to get a snack before lockdown. Sitting back down in my stiff uncomfortable bed for the night I sat still reflecting on the horrific events of the day. I hated to let myself think it but… was it a ghost? What else could it have been? Why had it attacked Shelby and not me? Did it attack Shelby, or did she have a mental breakdown after she saw it? I know I had seen some tv shows about people seeing events so traumatic, they went into comas!
Maybe I wasn’t remembering it right, maybe instead of us seeing the man in the bathroom we heard the same guy Shelby heard the night before. Yes, the guy was in the room beside us, and we could hear it better in the bathroom, so we walked over to it and… And what? I turned to face Shelby and she had a stroke or something. Yes, her brain went haywire, and she made something that sounded like a life then she fell.
These are all the questions and explanations I battled with all day sitting in that hospital room chair. I almost believed it too. I couldn’t deal with the idea of some freak accident doing this, so I took the laughing and made it up into an elaborate event of ghosts striking down Shelby. Not only that, but I mean honestly, what are the odds we move in and 2 days later we get haunted? I dreamt it up that’s the only logical explanation.
Dozing off to this new epiphany it gave me a sense not happiness but satisfaction that I had solved one mystery. That is until I woke up to the sound of the cheap hospital sheets rustling. I looked around trying to see where the noise was coming from when it clicked, Shelby was moving.
Her head was moving up just a little and her eyes were rolling under her eyelids. I started searching for the remote attached to her hospital bed to call the nurse. I leaned across her to grab it, right when I was face to face with her, her eyes opened and she raised up. I jumped back out of shock and ended up in my chair staring jaw dangling and tears starting to form in my eyes. She turned her head towards me with a blank look on her face. I throw my arms around her and tell her how much I loved her and how scared I was. That’s when she opened her mouth… she started to laugh, and I began to scream.