There was a legend about this village, that was told to me by my grandmother.
Many centuries ago the Sky God would protect our village from the vengeful Storm God. However, one day the Sky God fell in love with a woman. One day he was tending to the skies when he heard the songs of angels coming from the world of men below. The Sky God came down to our village to see a beautiful young maiden tending to her fields upon the hills. When she saw him, she bowed before him. She told him that the god of Death has taken her family and she was all that was left, her husband had died in battle and she had just lost a child. As she cried the Sky God wiped her tears and embraced her. The Storm God, who was jealous of the love they had, blew the maiden away and off the cliff, to her death. The Sky God would spend eternity frantically looking for her all over the earth, asking the Sun to shine its light far away. The Storm God, triumphant in his revenge, blew a storm to cover the village in a never-ending winter. “And that is why”, my grandmother said, “it always snows in our village, and we never see the sun.”
I remember very little about my grandma. The smell of the hot tea she would make. The soft and sweet perfume. I’m starting to forget what she looked like, now in my later years. However, I was only a child when I would see her, and pretty soon she passed away. Sometimes I need to remember she loved me, if that is all she can be remembered by, other than that story.
That cliff had become a legend in our village, so much that a lot of teenagers would challenge each other when it was late at night to walk out into the snowy cliff and guess the name of the woman who the Storm God had taken away. Many names were guessed. “Chi” “Rin” “Yu”
Eventually, one night a girl was abused when she could not talk and her group of friends demanded that she speak and guess a name. When she couldn’t, they tried to push her off the cliff. As she fell, she cursed them. And I don’t know about my grandmother’s fairy tale. But about that curse… it’s real. Otherwise I wouldn’t be telling you this story.
See, over the years those “friends” of this girl would walk to the edge of this cliff and they would feel very dark and strong feelings. Feelings of hopelessness…. feelings of fear……. the cold. And one by one, every single one of them committed suicide, jumping off that cliff to their death.
When I was 16 my parents were getting a divorce. They had been fighting and yelling and my sister, who was 9 at the time, was a very quiet girl. She had soft little sniffles and I always thought she was annoying. Especially for how I thought at the time she was dealing with it. The fighting between us all got only worse and worse.
At school, I had my own problems. I never could please everyone, everyone wanted me to be something I’m not, like someone giving me a name I do not want. My teachers were constantly disappointed in my performance at schoolwork. All of the anxiety and pressure, multiplied by my own feelings led me to contemplate jumping myself. Or as I put it, “let the wind carry me.”
So that night I snuck out and went to the cliff. I felt dark and alone. I don’t know what else was going through my head, other than “I give up, please end it all. Please take me away. Let the wind carry me”
That was when my little sister came behind me. She probably wanted me to come home. So I ignored her. That was when I noticed my parents coming behind her, running after her. Was she running away?
No sooner could I think than that’s when I saw her body run past me and off the cliff below me. All I could do was stop and stare.
When we got home, both my parents were speaking together for the first time in years. They both comforted me and told me that part of growing up is accepting loss. They told me to follow their example, and “never cry. That kind of weakness isn’t allowed anymore.”
When I looked at their faces, I saw different people.
There are so many things I wish I could ask my parents about that night, there is so much that I do not know.
There is one thing, however, that I do know. It is simply this. We are so terrible at trying to be so good at hiding our true emotions.
Years later and I come back to that cliff every so often and I still feel dark and cold. Alone. I think of my little sister. I even talk to her sometimes.
One night I felt a dark presence. I looked and there was a woman in a white robe floating above the cliff in front of me. I saw the face of a woman that was not my sister. She was so angry. Everything about her was cold and icy.
I thought of how much I hated my sister. Why did she have to die instead of letting me go? Why am I still alive? I feel so helpless.
The woman in white spoke. “I……. fell……..”
I didn’t answer.
She did.
“Bring…… someone…..”
Who?
“Bring someone…… you love”
Without thinking, I said, “alright, sure.”
A few months later, I moved to America where I got an office job at a job placement center. It was always a little funny to me that my job was to help others get jobs as well.
One coworker of mine was a beautiful young woman whose name was Emily. Emily was exuberant, she would always find new ways to make a boring workday more and more exciting. I fell for her and fell for her hard.
We had just started dating when she told me that she is a skier and she loves to find new slopes to try. Upon hearing that I never skied before, she took me to the Rockies. We spent a couple of days there as she gave me a tutorial.
“Keep your legs straight, your feet forward. When you want to turn, turn on your feet. When you want to stop, cross your feet like this.”
Emily then demonstrated. I was a beginner so we started on a green circle even though she complained that I wouldn’t feel the breeze going that slow. Emily, with little effort, glided across the snow around me I eventually got the hang of it…. so I thought.
I was going very fast when I suddenly lost control and crashed into another skier. Luckily, our injuries were somehow minor fractures but I had to be hospitalized for treatment with an overnight stay and found myself in a temporary wheelchair.
It hurt my pride to have Emily push me around and she was actually crying that we couldn’t keep skiing together. She told me that her parents took her skiing ever since she was a little girl but they both died in a car accident and she likes to remember them any way she could because she loves them and misses them.
“It’s fun to feel so liberating,” she said, “and let the wind carry me.”
We took a plane to my home village. I wanted to show her my past since she showed me her parent’s old cabin in Colorado. I felt it only fair to show Emily what she showed me.
My parents were still alive. And still married after 47 years.
When I introduced them to Emily they loved her, almost like she had been living with us our whole lives. They were getting the tea ready when my mother spoke up.
“You should hear this town legend. My mother used to tell my son here all the time. Let me see…. a long time ago.”
“Mom, she doesn’t want to hear the story.”
“Yes she does child, now…. a long time ago the Sky God fell in love with a young woman. Poor thing. When the Storm God found out, he blew her off the cliff and that’s why it’ll always snow here. Even the weather doesn’t like how that story ended,” she added in between sips of tea.
Emily was entranced. She had to see this cliff.
I remembered what the women in white said to me, and I knew Emily was going to-
Emily was already gone.
I went out in the snow as a blizzard suddenly came, blowing icy chills that I had forgotten in my decade or more in adulthood. This childhood adversity of chill and wind wasn’t enough to stop me, however. I knew a shortcut to the cliff above our village.
400 feet up the snow I kept climbing as the wind howled and there was no sign of Emily. Still I walked up the snow. Laughing as I remember my father telling me all the stories of his winters being the worst, and with nothing to compare it to for me, winter is winter.
By the time I had reached the cliff, I was out of air when I noticed nothing was there.
I cried, “EMILY!”
“……..I always liked that name. Emily.”
That sound. It couldn’t be. The wind howled as I practically teetered over the edge. The cliff below me beckoning like jaws of true death.
“….Who-who are you” I asked.
“………..I took the form of the one you call Emily. Thank you for loving me.”
Emotions froze inside me all over. So many. “Everything was a lie?”
“………..Yes, I am afraid.”
“Are you the woman from the story about the Sky Go-“
“………..No, and I always HATED THAT STORY!”
She contorted and her eyes shone with a face truly like lightning. I felt real fear like my body was about to burst in death that instant.
Now I know this is the girl who was bullied off the cliff, guessing the name of a nameless woman.
“…………I always hated everything. For 70 years all I had was hate. Until you came along.”
“What did I do?”
“………I saw you. …….I saw…… your sister……”
Tears began to form in my eyes.
“You saw my sister?”
“….. It’s me….. “
Then I had a horrific thought. My sister died in 1999. Emily was born in 1999.
No. It couldn’t be. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Reincarnation.
The girl who simply came with the wrong group. My little sister born to the wrong family. The woman who fell in love with the wrong man. They all shared the same soul?
I didn’t know what to think. It was completely overwhelming.
Was this the curse?
The woman, or Emily, began to fade away.
“Wait! When will I see you again? How can I find you?”
“…..find me.”
And with that, she was gone.
That was about 2018. I decided to stay in my village. I had to find her.
So a few days ago I was recently put in charge of a nursery in our village when an inconspicuous 5-year old girl found her way out of the nursery. She was quite the rambunctious little toddler. Then it occurred to me. I know this girl.
When no one was looking, I took the girl in my arms up the 400 foot cliff and held her over the cliff. It was time for her to be reincarnated, right? That bullied girl from almost a century ago wants this. My sister wants this. Emily wants this.
I don’t care if I go to prison. I can already hear their words.
“Let the wind carry me.”