A bright light shone through the cracks, I opened the door with a creek to see a creature on the other side. The monster existed beyond physical description in terrifying beauty. Its scales contained colors not found on any earthly plane of existence. Robed figures surrounded the creature, chanting in an unknown language. My body pulsated, and I danced in time to the rhythm.
The next thing I knew I was back in the Pyramid Club dancing next to Jackie. The group of robed figures cleared out of the stage while the crowd yelled repeatedly for an encore.
“That was one hell of a show,” said Jackie as she took my hand.
The crowd milled around the merch booth and the bar. We opted out of buying overpriced rail drinks but bought overpriced band t-shirts instead. The crowd funneled out of the club into the crowded streets, and we followed.
The robed figures appeared, chanting out of the corner of my eye, only to have them disappear when I turned my head. I went through the next day in a daze. We wore our band t-shirts and jeans and sensible Vans for walking. We had a continental hotel breakfast followed by shopping for more overpriced souvenirs, and a bus tour throughout the city. We stepped off in China Town for lunch; the food was delicious but distant like someone else was eating the food.
We got turned around on our way back and nearly missed our bus. All the streets looked similar and would switch back between Little Italy and China Town. Frustrated we stopped at the fruit stand, and another robed figure was cutting fruit, I blinked and shook my head only to find an old shopkeeper in its place. He shook his head and muttered something about tourists in a New York accent before pointing us in the right direction.
We got back on the bus and visited the rest of the New York sights, the Flat Iron Building, the 9/11 memorial, and the Empire State Building. It was evening by the time we got to Times Square but you wouldn’t have noticed it from all the bright lights and teeming crowds. The Pyramid Sigil appeared on one of the digital billboards, the text underneath it flashed you will always be ours. I shook my head and there was nothing but a normal advertisement for Calvin Klein.
“Oh my God!” said Jackie, and I thought for once she saw the same thing I did.
“Phantom is playing! On Broadway!”
My heart sank as she joyfully bounced on her toes, she would never know what I have seen, or the fear that followed me. I was going mad, and she did not know I was spiraling.
I watched the show, but I focused on her swooning and singing along with the lyrics, afraid that they would fill the stage with robed figures and sigils if I so much as glanced at it. Jackie at least brought some sense of normalcy.
We went back to our hotel and spent the rest of our time watching old movies on YouTube, The Goonies, The Neverending Story, and The labyrinth. I tried to keep a conversation with Jackie and not look at the screen, afraid of what I would see. I’ve already seen these movies dozens of times in my childhood.
I finally turned in for bed but chanting filled my ears. I kept seeing the sigils in my sleep and had vivid dreams of the creature. I woke up early the next morning in a fog.
We ate another continental breakfast, and she gave me a huge bear hug before calling her family once more.
“I’m heading back home, Mel and I had a great time. I waved to Spencer and Cassidy, but they were digital replicas of them, not my real friends.
“Ask Dave what his schedule is. We need to hang out more often,” said Spencer.
“I will. We’ll talk soon,” I said, but my words were hollow.
Jackie gave me a bear hug before I boarded the Greyhound Bus back home. She waved as she climbed into her SUV. On the bus ride home everything was still out of place. I thought that the feeling would fade as I left New York City, but I was wrong.
Five hours later, I got off the bus at my stop in West Virginia. I stretched my legs and my husband, Dave was waiting for me. I climbed into the huge truck and he smiled. I kissed him, but his lips felt foreign, was this, my husband?
“I missed you,” I said.
“I missed you too, did you and Jackie have a good time?”
“Yeah,” I said blankly.
We drove back to our mountain home through the forest. Talked about everyday, mundane things, but the conversation was not real to me.
When I looked at the forest, the trees seemed different, twisted somehow and shadows loomed in the darkness. Dave pulled into the driveway, wheels crunching on gravel.
We had a small house with a huge yard, but something moved around the parameter in the dark. I walked inside and Silky and Lacey rubbed against my legs. I petted them but I couldn’t register the softness of their fur.
Dave had cooked some venison from his last hunt, and we ate but the food had no taste. I wanted to scream, cry and claw the numbness away, to feel something. But I couldn’t will myself to even do that like even my anger was not my own.
Dave and I made love that night, but my body was not there, I was watching everything from another space and time. But his breath comforted me as I lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
“Hon, what’s wrong? You don’t seem like yourself,” he said while playing with my hair.
I wanted to tell him everything but was afraid he would find me crazy. Instead, I told him how I felt, the hollowness and disassociation.
“It sounds like clinical depression. It’s OK, and none of this is your fault. We’ll make an appointment with a therapist tomorrow and get through this together, sound good?”
I nodded and hugged him tightly. This was all in my head, I had been working too many hours and neglecting my mental health. This was some odd manifestation of burnout that built up over the years. I fell into a comforting sleep in his arms.
I woke up to a bright light several hours later. Groggily I stirred from bed and went to the back deck to find the creature surrounded by robed figures. I rushed downstairs to wake up my husband, only to find a robed figure in his place. It chanted and pointed to my closet.
I wanted to scream but did as the creature said. I opened the closet to find a midnight blue robe, covered in sparkling stardust. I undressed and threw the robe over my body. Unknown words spilled from my lips and I became one with the vibration. I no longer was out of place, the robed figure took my hand and lead me toward the creature, a bright light surrounded me as I finally came home.