My high school years were amazing. Sports and grades have come to me naturally, but I always struggled with one thing: Women. As a senior in high-school, I never got to experience the pleasures of having a girlfriend.
And I wish it stayed that way.
Lana was perfect.
Her almond-shaped hazel eyes and her wolf cut were the first to catch my attention. I remember her walking into the classroom and greeting our teacher.
She was beautiful.
My teacher must have seen me eyeing her down because the seating arrangement he gave her was the seat next to mine. The first words she ever said to me were, “Hey dude.” It took me a minute to register, but I eventually responded with a quick “Hi.” From there, we hit it off and became friends. I did my best to get her adjusted to the school and even helped her with school work. Soon, we became class partners and finally broke the ice. Study sessions were where I got to know her more, she had the same energy as I did. She liked my jokes and I liked hers. She told me how she came from another school because of her parents’ work and really appreciated my company.
As time progressed, we hung out more outside of school. Often we would get food, or watch movies, but only as friends. She didn’t really talk to too many people, so I appreciated having her all to myself. She eventually became my best friend and the more we talked, the more I realized how much I liked her. As homecoming was near, we decided to go as a couple. I couldn’t believe that she said yes and couldn’t wait for the big night.
This is where it all went wrong.
As the day of homecoming approached, I grew anxious. This was the furthest I’ve gone with any girl, the first three years of highschool were lonely.I always went to homecoming with a group of guy friends, many of them congratulated me on the achievement. My mom was very proud and made sure I was ready. As the day of homecoming arrived, I was ready. My mother rented us a limo and bought me a brand new suit just for the special occasion.
I called Lana before heading to her house to pick her up. She told me just how excited she was, and vice versa. Finally arriving at her house, I knocked on her door.
No response.
After a few minutes, I called her.
No answer.
I decided that she might be in the backyard, so I crossed over through the side like I usually do. After knocking on the back door, I was relieved to hear the voice of Lana’s father. “Who is it?” Lana’s father opened the door with a confused look, “Can I help you?” he asked. I stated that it was me and I was here to pick Lana up. I told her parents I could pick her up ahead of time, so I was confused at the question. Her father just stared at me like I was crazy, “I think you have the wrong house.” Of course, I persisted and asked if this was some sort of joke. I remember seeing another figure walking towards the door. It was Lana’s mom. She seemed very relaxed and approached the door stating, “We don’t have a daughter.” I was dumbfounded. After a good minute of arguing and persisting, Lana’s father told me to leave. I hesitated, thinking that they might have disapproved of me being their daughter’s date. But they grew more and more aggressive. Finally accepting my fate, I stumbled across the steps as I hurried to the car. I could already feel my eyes tear up as I realized I was stood up. Why did she ghost me? Why did she tell her parents to act like assholes? Did I do something wrong? I had so many questions. Questions that were never answered.
I lived in a relatively small town, everyone knew each other.
So when everyone claimed that this “Lana” girl never existed I nearly lost it. After I went home from the incident, I cried to my mom about what happened. She looked very confused and asked me who I was talking about. I was sobbing. I told her it wasn’t the time for a joke and I needed someone to talk to, but she continued asking me who I was talking about. Just like Lana’s parents, I stood my ground. But the same thing happened.
She forgot.
It got so bad that I had to pull out my phone and show her a picture of her. Except she wasn’t there any more. Not a single trace of her was left on my phone. Her pictures, videos, and messages were all gone. Our old Instagram posts together were non-existent. Most importantly, her number which I memorized by heart never existed. Was I dreaming? The girl that I was talking to for over half a year never existed.
Did no one believe me? Or did everyone forget?
That was 20 years ago.
With no one to talk to or believe in me, I moved on. I later moved for college and did other things with my life. Eventually, I met my wife. She is the love of my life. We have 2 healthy boys and another one on the way. I have a decent job and a happy life. My wife Emily stays home to take care of the kids, since my work is enough to support the whole family. We often go to parenting sessions together. We weren’t certain if we would be able to juggle another child and marriage has been hard, so we decided to learn how to have a balance. It was going great.
Until last week.
12/2/2023
It’s been two decades since I last saw her and that’s why I’m writing this diary. I almost forgot about her after all these years. But I saw her. After our parenting session, Emily and I went to get lunch. We ate at one of those restaurants with an outside cafe. The table we sat at was adjacent to the sidewalk which pedestrians walked on. As I waited for Emily to come back from the restroom, I noticed one of the pedestrians at a distance. I wasn’t able to immediately recognize her, but I knew she looked familiar. The closer she got, the more I was certain. It was her. It was Lana.She didn’t age as much as I did. She looked about 30 ish and still had the same type of hair cut and eye color. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I don’t know why, but I was scared, like she was going to do something to me. However, she seemed unaware, like she didn’t see me and just kept walking. My eyes followed her as she walked down the street, eventually turning a corner. I wanted to follow her but my wife was coming back. I thought I was hallucinating but I was certain it was her.
When we went home I couldn’t sleep.
For 20 years everyone I’ve talked to about Lana never believed me. It got so bad I started to think I made it all up, a way to cope with the loneliness I was facing in high school.
But I was certain.
I saw her.
1/12/2024
I have been skipping parenting sessions with my wife because of my busy New year work schedule. My wife has been going alone and tending to the kids a lot more. She’s been doing it well. However, she recently talked to me about a new friend she made at the class. Her name is Lana. This is probably insignificant, but I haven’t heard that name in a while. What really stirred me was the way my wife described her. I was a bit shaky, but reassured myself it couldn’t be her since it’s a relatively common name. She will be coming over for dinner in a week so I will have my suspicions answered soon.
1/19/2024
I don’t know where to begin
I sat in the living room scared for the worst, so when my wife opened the door to the sound of Lana greeting us, I nearly passed out. It was like seeing a ghost, a mere dream from 20 years ago. My wife introduced us and quickly sat us down at the dinner table. I remained reserved. I did my best to control my emotions, not speaking for the entire dinner other than a few “yeahs” or “no’s.” Lana actually seemed uninterested in me and was getting along with my wife very much. I didn’t know how to feel. She was real. Right here. In front of me. After bottling my emotions, I finally built up the courage for confrontation. “Do you remember me?” I asked Lana. Both my wife and Lana turned to me confused. “Sorry?” I remember her asking. “In High School? Senior year?” I asked again, this time a little bit more demanding. Lana looked confused. My wife was surprised, “You knew Lana?” I didn’t answer. I never really told anyone about Lana after I moved to college, and didn’t think it was important to bring up with Emily.
I just looked at Lana. I wanted her to say something. Anything. But she didn’t, keeping the puzzled look on her face. “You disappeared,” I said aggressively. My wife started getting tense, unaware why I was so persistent. Lana also started getting uncomfortable, I could just tell by the way she looked at me. There was no remorse behind those eyes. It’s like she forgot. Or never knew. Either way, the rest of the dinner was extremely uncomfortable. I excused myself from the table and currently I am in my room writing this entry.
Lana just left. My wife had a lot of questions. She was mad about how unwelcoming I was but after explaining everything, she understood. It’s been a very long time since I’ve told someone about the highschool incident, my wife was very skeptical at first. Since I had no proof of knowing Lana in highschool, she didn’t believe me. It was only when I started telling her specific details about Lana that she started believing. I told her about her parents and a few other experiences that I’m not comfortable sharing. Emily told me she wanted to avoid Lana at parenting sessions, which is understandable, so we decided to quit the program.
Emily was confused. How could someone just disappear? We decided to Google her name.
There was almost nothing about her online other than a few work-related profiles. We spent 2 hours doing this with no results. My wife told me that it was getting late so we’re giving up for now.
2/3/2024
It’s been a month and life has been as usual.
We decided to stop going to parenting sessions. Since then, we haven’t seen or talked to Lana.
Because of that, this will probably be my last entry.
I think it’s best to leave it that way. We have our theories, my wife thinks she might be a ghost, but I think this is something else. But either way, I’m done worrying. It’s been years and I think it’s time to stop thinking about her.
This is goodbye for now.
2/25/2024
I can’t sleep tonight. I got a few hours in but I woke up from a bad dream again. This is the second time, I didn’t feel like writing an entry the first time since I figured it must have been just a dream, but this one was unusual to say the least.
In the dream, I saw my wife. She was far but I could tell it was her. I started drifting towards it, unable to do anything but watch. She was smiling, with her arms wide open motioning me to come to her. I felt happy and at peace staring into her eyes. It was like when I first met her, I knew she was perfect. She started speaking, “I love you.” I wanted to say it back but couldn’t, this was a lucid dream but I couldn’t control myself. She kept saying it. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
But then her voice started deforming, like she was choking. She kept staring at me. Her hands were bound at her sides and her eyes stayed locked on to mine. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” She kept going. But I couldn’t take it, she was choking on something, each gasp for air ended with an “I love you.” A red fluid then started trickling out her mouth. Blood? I didn’t know, but now she wasn’t talking anymore. Her hands were on her throat, gasping for air. I couldn’t do anything. I wanted to wake up, for it to end. But I could only watch. It all happened so fast. She was now on the floor, spasming and fighting for her life. I was yelling on the inside, but still unable to move. Her eyes. They were still looking into mine. Her head stayed in place but her body shook uncontrollably.
Until she stopped.
I thought she was dead. I wanted to yell, to scream, to see if she’s okay. But I couldn’t.
Her lifeless body rested on the floor. It was pure silence. All I could do was look at her corpse and couldn’t take action. I prayed that she would get up, but no one heard me. Her eyes were still open. They were now rolled back, I could only see the whites of them, but her head was still facing me. I didn’t know how to react. I was shaken to the core.
I stared at her body for a few minutes. It was all I could do. But suddenly, she started moving again. It was like she came back to life, her eyes rolled back to the front of her head. I could hear her joints snap, crackle, and pop back into place. She then got up and started walking towards me. I was ecstatic, I thought I lost her and was beyond relieved.
But something was wrong.
She was smiling, the smile you get from a funny joke. As she walked toward me, she scanned my body up and down. My wife now stood right in front of me. It’s almost like nothing happened, like she didn’t just die and come back. Something was off. She started laughing. No, she started howling. An uncontrollable howl, like the Joker. I was so confused.
Until she started peeling her face off.
First, she started with the top. Gripping the middle of her scalp, she grabbed her own hair and tugged each side downwards. She was now hysterical, laughing so hard I could barely hear the sound of her scalp ripping open. Her skin started ripping downwards towards her nose. I could see her skull now. Blood was everywhere, covering her face and body. But she kept going, she was now at her eye level. Her face looked like a peeled tomato with two bulging eyes sticking out of it. I couldn’t bear the sight, but finally, she stopped laughing. “I love you” she whispered.
I wouldn’t even wish what I saw next on my worst enemy. She yanked the skin she ripped off and threw the long pieces on the ground. She then looked me in the eyes and layed down. I wanted it to end. I couldn’t watch this anymore. She then curled up into a fetal position, like an embryo. Her body turned white. Not white as in pale, but white as in Voldemort white. Her clothes disintegrated, but her body was smooth. Its features were all gone, like a human morph suit. She started spasming again, but this time she wasn’t talking. The two pieces of skin seemingly disappeared. I couldn’t fathom what was happening. Her body was transforming. After a brief moment, features started returning. I could see a face again, breasts, and hair.
But it wasn’t my wife.
As her face started setting back in, and her hair started growing back, I knew who it was. She started getting up, with her hands covering her privates. A smile grew on her face. A sinister smile. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at.
“Miss me?” Lana asks.
I finally woke up. It was finally over. I was sweating like a dog in summer heat when I jumped out of my bed. The time was 3:00 in the morning, I had only got a few hours of sleep. I quickly checked to see if my wife was okay. She was sleeping soundly. I’ve been replaying the dream in my head over and over. Even though it was just a dream, I told Emily how scared I felt. I have so many questions. Something tells me this isn’t going to be the last time. For now, I’m going to take tomorrow off from work and relax. Maybe I just haven’t been getting enough sleep.
3/1/2024
The dreams haven’t stopped, they’ve been mostly the same, my wife dies and Lana comes out of nowhere to scare the shit out of me. I started using melatonin to get better sleep, but it only made the dreams worse. We visited a sleep specialist yesterday and he told us the problem could be within my subconscious. He told us the best way to solve the issue is to find and face the issue. Of course, I already knew the issue. It was Lana. I still had so many questions that were lingering within. How has she returned? We haven’t talked to or seen her since the night of the dinner, so we decided to attend another parenting session to find her. Of course, she wasn’t there. I wasn’t very surprised, but my wife assured me we would find her eventually.
As of now, we have had zero luck.
3/3/2024
Still no luck, we’ve gone to sessions every day for the past couple days and haven’t seen her. We asked the staff if they have seen her but they told us she stopped coming about the time that we stopped as well. My wife thought this was a coincidence, but this is nothing new to me. The dreams have been getting worse and I fear for my own health. I have been consistently waking up in the middle of the night sweating and yelling. I need to fix this soon.
3/5/2024
It’s currently 2 AM. I had another shitty dream. Usually, I would be bound to something, unable to talk, and forced to watch my wife die while Lana appears. I was already used to the routine, it sounds messed up, but I’ve grown used to seeing my wife die in the worst ways possible. So far, she’s ripped her own skin off, set herself ablaze, and shot herself in the head. I hated every minute of it, but I’ve become desensitized. Lana would always appear shortly after Emily died, I didn’t understand why, since I never thought about Lana on a daily basis. But this one was different. Emily cut her stomach open and spilled her guts over the floor, nothing unique, but this time Lana had walked in early. She didn’t appear from Emily’s corpse like she sometimes did, but she rather walked in from outside of my view. This time she approached Emily, still bleeding to death, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Shortly after, Emily was lifeless, and Lana turned her head towards me, like she usually did. She walked over to me and started smiling, like she usually did. But this time she touched me. She touched my lips, circling between the top and bottom. But that wasn’t the part that concerned me.
I could feel it.
It was only a dream I told myself, but I knew this was different. She read me, like she was staring into my soul, like she knew what I was thinking. I didn’t know how to react, I couldn’t. I wanted to die at that moment. Until she said the words, “See you soon” and gave me a light shove. That’s all I could remember. I woke up and now I am writing this entry. I woke my wife up and told her what happened as well. Now we both can’t sleep and seriously don’t know what to do. My wife has booked me an appointment for the physiatrist tomorrow, I think it’s for the best.
3/5/2024 Pt.2
HOLY FUCK
After my wife booked me an appointment for tomorrow, we decided to watch a movie. We couldn’t sleep and didn’t know what else to do. About half way through the movie, I heard a tap on one of the living room windows. It sounded like a rock. I ignored it, too wary to check, but another tap came shortly after. This time both my wife and I went to check. Peering out the window, we couldn’t see anything since it was too dark. I didn’t know what to do, feeling like a child, wanting to stay in the safety of my home. My wife told me to not worry, and how it was probably a couple of pranksters up late at night. But a couple seconds later there was a loud banging on our backdoor.
I feared for the worse. I grabbed my shotgun from the bedroom safe, I’ve never had to use it before. My wife said I was overreacting, but after experiencing the dream, I was not taking risks. Shaking in fear, I headed toward the backdoor and told my wife to stay behind me.
I turned on the back yard lights and listened for sound. It was super quiet, since it was late at night, but I still didn’t hear anyone in the yard. After a few minutes of waiting by the door, I finally got the courage to prop it open and check to see what was there. Of course, there was nothing unusual. The backlight dimly revealed the backyard, illuminating the barbeque grill, and the silhouette of two trees. Other than that, I saw nothing else. To reaffirm my safety, I hesitantly called out, “Anyone there?”. My wife was clutching my hand behind me, but I was confident no one was there .
Until someone replied.
“I’m here”
At first, I thought it was our elderly neighbor. But this voice was younger, and higher pitched. This voice was familiar. My wife instantly jumped back, I think she realized before I did. It was Lana. I couldn’t see her at first, but I knew. Her shadow was hiding under one of the trees. I only saw it when it started moving towards me. A dark shadow hovered on the ground, slowly edging its way toward my wife and I. I immediately raised my gun, realizing there was nothing I could see that was making the shadow. Its shape narrowed as it shifted from the light. It was moving by itself.
It finally stopped about ten feet away from us. The shadow then grew bigger, about as wide as a sewer plate. I pointed my gun at the thing but I didn’t know what I was aiming at. Before I could think, a hand appeared from the void. It reached for the grass and started pulling itself out. Along came an arm, then a head, and then a full body. The figure had long hair and tattered clothes. Its skin was rotten, like a corpse. My wife quickly pulled out her phone and called the police. I was now face-to-face with the thing, with my gun as the only protection I had. After taking a closer look, I recognized her. It was Lana, but her body seemed semi-decomposed, like she was a zombie. She just stood there, menacingly. I wanted to shoot, but I couldn’t. There was nothing behind those eyes.
Her face rose and met mine. Then, she lifted her arm towards me, reaching for my face. Her dry and cracked lips started moving, with only a groan coming out of her mouth. My wife, who was still behind me, told me that the police would be here soon. I didn’t hear her, hyper fixated on Lana’s next move. Lana was unresponsive, like a statue, but then she started moving. I could see her plant her foot into the ground, ready to charge. “Don’t do it” I warned her, but she ignored me and started rushing. My wife screamed, seeing the sudden movement of Lana. She was fast. So fast that I almost didn’t pull the trigger in time.
My shotgun sent Lana flying. Bits of her body flew through the air as blood spewed everywhere, like a pinata. The sight was gruesome. I stood there, realizing I had just shot someone. The sirens of the police were now only a few houses away, and I turned to tell my wife to get them. But she must’ve already gone, to tell the police what happened. As I was waiting, I moved closer to the remains of Lana. I wanted to have closure.
To make sure it was over.
But when I approached the body, I noticed something wrong. The hair was different. This wasn’t Lana’s hair. This was my wifes. I flipped the body over only to see my dead wife’s face, eyes still open, with a look of horror. I shot my wife. I could hear the police breaking down the front door, but I didn’t know what to do. In the heat of the moment, my legs started moving. Running. I ran across the backyard, and jumped over the fence to my neighbors yard. Then the next yard, and then the next. I ran until sunrise. I am currently staying at a friend’s house 30 miles away from home. My kids… I can’t go back. There will be a hunt for me soon. What have I done?
3/8/2024
The dreams are still here, and have become a lot worse. I fear for my children but there’s nothing I can do. The police are on a search for me, I thought about turning myself in, but I couldn’t do it. I stayed at a friend’s house for a couple nights until the bounty for me was released. I can’t sleep at all anymore, but I know what I saw that night. Lana was there. This might be the only documentation I have of Lana’s existence, but I want the world to know.
For me, this is the end. I refuse to live like this. I’m currently at the top of a skyscraper and I think I’m gonna jump. I don’t know if I’m gonna go through with this, but I will update y’all if I don’t. This is me signing off now. Goodbye.