I gasped, pulling my face from my sink. It was full of water, my hair was soaking wet and plastered to my face. Water dripped from my nose and into the plugged sink. My cat batted at the cuff of my pants. I sighed and pulled the plug, watching the water drain for a bit before slumping to the ground and bringing my cat into my lap. He snuggled up to my chest, content. My heart was a rock in my stomach. Twenty four years of trauma was rushing through my body in under five minutes as a punishment for what I did.
It wasn’t fair. William was sweet and I didn’t want to leave him alone, but it was too hard to stay. But I kept coming back and it was a worse feeling than what was making me get here to begin with. I’d rather go through that again if I was able to just die now. Whatever. I had to go to work. I kissed William on his head and moved him from my lap, much to his disappointment. He followed me, meowing at me in his rage while I changed, taking my wet shirt off and putting on a blue flannel I pulled from the closet.
“No, bad, don’t do that.”
He hissed at me one more time before leaving the room. I sighed. He didn’t understand. Because he was a senile cat which really isn’t his fault but still.
I left him in the apartment and I took the bus to work. No one even looked at me, save for an elderly couple who looked vaguely worried about how messy I looked, but they looked away. They always do, every morning. It always feels like a game of glance and look away. Work was the same. Wrangle some teenagers who are much taller than me and don’t listen, keep Ophelia from eating seed beads and glue so my sister doesn’t have to make him puke, it’s easy.
At around 2:30, my oldest sister Marina says, “Hey, Scott. Some guy wants to pick up a few campers in your group, come talk to him.”
I sighed, pulling Ophelia away from the box of sewing supplies and giving him a warning stare before leaving the cabin and going up to the “main building” which really only was an office that Marina and my brother Vivian were in, since Dolores had the nurse’s cabin and the rest of the staff had cabins for their groups. It was just me in the building, since my siblings were off probably keeping a camper from doing stupid shit that will kill them. I looked over at who was leaning on the wall, looking at his phone. I sighed.
Quint. He was wearing the green flannel my brother got him before he found out how awful Quint was as a person. He was Mike and Elijah’s uncle and literally the worst person I’ve known in my life. I dated him when I was way too young for him, he was three years older than me. He treated everyone lower than him and he was so selfish. I still hate him and cannot help but to shudder thinking of him trying to get his nephews without their parents knowing.
“No contact order, you can’t get them. I hate cops but if you keep doing this we will have to call them to get you arrested.”
“I can get them, you can’t call the cops-“
“It’s like violating a restraining order, it’s illegal and even without it I would not let you have them. With your record?”
“What the hell did I do?”
I glared at him, and he shrugged. He was so nonchalant about it, I fucking hated him. He didn’t care.
“Quint, you went to prison for what you did.”
“That’s not fair, you practically begged for it.”
“I was fourteen, Quint. Whatever, you’re not going to be leaving with them.”
He looked angry and said, “I will leave with them, you’re not stopping me.”
“I am, that’s my job. Now get. Out.”
Quint sneered and my heart sunk. I knew what he was going to do. It always happens, every day. It wasn’t fair, but fine, I guess. At least I was slightly prepared when my knees knocked on the hard wood floor. At least I knew what was going to happen as he grabbed my hair and pushed me down, forcing my mouth open. At least I knew he was going to choke me and hit me until I cried. It hurt, but I was slightly less panicked which made it worse every time before. He finished, spit on me, and left cursing my name, just how it happens everyday. I cried on the floor for what felt like forever, then got up and texted Marina to let her know that I was leaving early. I didn’t bother to see what she said when my phone buzzed in my pocket as I sat down on the bus. I looked out the window blankly, just watching the trees and the dirt go by.
When I got to my home and got inside, William started to meow and nuzzle my legs. I ignored him, not stopping to pet him as I made a beeline to the bathroom. William was confused, still making noise as I filled the sink and and plugged the drain. When it was full, I leaned down, putting my face into the water completely. Some water spilled over the edges. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t care. William was starting to go crazy next to me, scratching my legs and screaming. I didn’t care, pressing my face in until I passed out and I stopped breathing.
I gasped, pulling my face from my sink. It was full of water, my hair was soaking wet and plastered to my face. Water dripped from my nose and into the plugged sink. My cat batted at the cuff of my pants.