An ordinary night, cold and dark as usual. I’ve always been afraid of nighttime. Can’t put my finger on why. But “Last News” surely showed me the purest of the fears. Its finally over, it’s finally over. I was repeating this as I considered myself lucky. Nonetheless,I was sitting in front of my computer with a cup of coffee making adjustments to my microphone, doing some edits and re-reading my script at the same time to take my mind off it.
Still this helped nothing at all. Suddenly I got a text message. “Don’t let me distract you,” it said. Well that was fucking hard when my life was (or is) at stake.
But has never been wrong to listen to their advice, so I turned my all my previous scripts to a paper ball and threw it in the trash. Afterwards I started talking into the microphone quietly as possible since my family was sleeping at the time. I voiced out the part named by me:”Last News”,Even surprising myself how decent of a job i did mere minutes ago. I started praising the scary yet kinda creative person behind this until i noticed the clock was about to hit 3 Am.”Fuck what the fuck. I was going to be done until 2:30”
I could feel like I was going crazy. I immediately stopped everything. First thing I did was saving all my work followed by placing my laptop and microphone into a high section in my bookshelf. Now that all of my equipment was safe, I rushed to the bed as I have never before. On the way I tripped and hit the metal structure of my bed.
Suddenly there was a sharp pain in my head. I quickly stood up and threw myself onto my bed after doing a quick search for sleeping pills. Couldn’t find my sleeping drugs in my pockets. I bursted in tears but I wasn’t even able to cry because my throat was hurting. I was coughing and just suffocating until I realized the medicine box was right beside me. I quickly grabbed it and took two or three pills that would help me. After a hard time swallowing them without any water, in no time did I feel my hands relaxing,eyes closing…
Morning when I woke up with the alarm, sunlight was heading towards me, making me feel warm and fuzzy. I didn’t want to get out of bed.
I delayed my alarm and stayed in bed 30 minutes or so after my alarm rang for the third time. Remembering my responsibilities I quickly went to the bookshelf that I placed my computer and microphone on. Today was the big day and the ultimate reason why I was preparing all the night even if it meant facing with my fears but today it was going to be worth it, nonetheless I was hungry and a little sleepy as well so I left my laptop on microphone on the bookshelf and checked the quickly-written script that was standing on the table.
Was it really me who wrote this? I mean it didn’t look so bad at the time, but I still felt some kind of guilt the longer i thought about the details. Oh my God I couldn’t present a script like this, what were people going to think of me?
They would assume I’m some kind of freak! I shook my head and send away the bad thoughts.”I will just edit this later” I promised to myself,”let’s get a good breakfast and forget this piece of paper ever existed”
I made my way through the breakfast table. It was a Sunday a.k.a family time. My mother, father and little brother all stopped and looked at my face. I entered the kitchen, yawning . I asked my mother for an omelet and a cup of coffee.
“It’s weird” she said “normally you don’t drink your coffee around this time do you Thomas?”
“No but I’ve been overworking since about last week”
“About that radio thing? This is not 80’s son even I’m over this shit” said my dad. He was usually against anything I tried to do but it was the last thing on my mind that he could be actually right for all of the wrong reasons.
“Don’t say such things on the breakfast table” mom yelled at dad”“Then stop taking his side every time. That’s why he doesn’t have a job, why he hasn’t achieved a single thing in 21 years”
I was used to these arguments, when they came back and forth I chose the way of silence and buried my ears.
Eating my omelet and taking small sips of my coffee to distract myself I noticed Matt, my little brother was doing the same. Oh the poor child! When I was his age I didn’t have to bear those stupid arguments since the bad child hadn’t grown up to be a trouble! Just the four of us enjoying the time spent as a family together…
This argument started when I finished high school and finished all my exams. It wasn’t really my fault things turned out like this. Maybe partially my fault but I really didn’t have any interest in any lessons. How ironic, after reading dozens of history books and documents as a hobby, I still managed to get a C on that, which was my best lesson after English. I was the best student in that.Straight A’s in English! Straight D’s in Math, and Science!
“Brother” Matt patted my shoulder with his small hand. He was 9 years younger than me still attending middle school still looking up to me as an idol. Nothing out of the ordinary. I used to look up to my dad. Still I couldn’t help but wonder? Why me, why not take my dad as a role model?
“Brother, dad is talking to you”I shifted from myself to the real world where I was eating breakfast in a heated debate. But mom and dad were not arguing anymore. All of the stares at the table were directed at me including Matt’s.”So we made a decision”, my dad started talking. His previous anger was now gone. Strangely this was more uncomfortable than before.”To send you to community college” mom finished my dads sentence.”
But why? I made it clear I wasn’t gonna need a degree”“Well, think of it as a new opportunity in your life. A new environment… You never went to college. Not just academically but you also need college for socializing”
I opened my mouth but no word came from it. I’ve always been terrible at going against my mother’s requests.
I quickly finished my breakfast and took the coffee cup to my room. I locked the room as soon as I set foot inside.Bedroom was my safe space. A space where I can relax. Actually more than just relaxing, more like “releasing”. My anger, my sadness, my feeling of numbness. I often saw myself like an empty vessel.
Always promising, giving hope to others but failing their expectations after a certain amount of time.I used to feel sad, feel guilty about it. But now, absolutely nothing. Except the disgusting feeling of feeling nothing.
This time wasn’t much different, my dad was thinking “Radio Stream” was another false promise given to him, an excuse for not getting a proper 9-5 job. Though I wasn’t sure how I could do that without a degree. But my promise was closer than ever before, just 2 days and a night from now on I was going to stream a custom live radio show carefully planned.
So I had to keep my promise this time, maybe then I could avoid going to college and bringing my dads trust to me ending my dads and moms arguments so Matt could grew in a peaceful, calm environment.For my family, for Matt i had to get to work. After technical setting and reading my text out loud to make sure it wasn’t too boring or unoriginal it finally came to the messy part: Writing/Editing the script.
For a moment I thought I didn’t have to use a full script. I could just take small notes and use them. Its not like anyone could see what was going off-camera. Because there wasn’t going to be a camera at all.My newfound solution lost its sparkle when I remembered my embarrassing past of improvisation.So that was out of the picture.
At least %70 of the stream’s context had to rely on a couple pieces of poorly written garbage.
With the help of coffee and some classical music I started to work on the script.First things first I analyzed the problem’s root: It was artificial, it was a copy of other podcasts and comedy shows I’ve watched to the date. My small amount of original input was lost in this ocean of fakeness. I spent hours and hours trying to add more of my sarcastic humor.”
I finally dropped the pen and leaned onto my chair out of exhaustion as the sun slowly started to set.”Thomas we are going out for a nightwalk in 5 minutes, tag along if you want”
I took another look at the sun slowly getting out of my perspective one last time.”You deserved an honest break, Thomas. Go enjoy it.” my phone said. I freaked out for a couple of seconds until I remembered my phone had a text reading feature. But wait, this meant text had come from another person. I quickly clicked the message. It was an anonymous number. So I was really terrified. But at the same time, I really wanted fresh air to clear my mind. So I unwillingly decided to take this person’s advice.
Nightwalk was actually pretty amazing. In our small town you couldn’t do much, but I was still glad I was there to enjoy the town square enlightened by old styled,bright yellow street lamps. Few thrift stores were still open and the relaxing water sound coming by the middle of the fountain was adding to this scenery. Mom, dad, Matt and I were slowly passing these, while having a small chit-chat. Weirdly I always disliked small talk but that night it was all I could ask for. I was finally with my dad after so long for the first time-Excluding our fights of course.
He suddenly got a phone call and left us to answer the phone. Subsequently my phone also read out another message. “It’s about to become 12 o’clock Thomas, get back to working”Thankfully mom and Matt were far away to hear this message. Now annoyed and scared at the same time I closed the text reading feature.
But the one messaging. I hesitated to block them. If they somehow knew my number they could’ve just reached me on another phone. Or even worse maybe spread my number and i have to get a new line which would probably make mom and dad mad. So the best thing I could do was to talk to this guy, or gal and kindly ask to stop bothering me.Besides they have just given me advice, in fact i may have not come to the night walk without their encouragement. Still it didn’t answer the question why a random stranger knew much about me, but there wasn’t anything I could do.
“Hello, why do you keep texting me, how did you know my number?
“I anxiously waited for a reply. Over a minute later he responded. I quickly took a look around me just to be sure. All I could know was this guy could be a stalker. Then it hit me.
My room was connected to the balcony, and I always keep my curtains open in daylight. Today was no exception. So they could be watching me all day.Just then another message was delivered.
“From your stream, of course, you leaked your number there, remember?”
“Wdym i never started any stream, and even if i did why would i show my phone number?”“I’m telling you what happened, i don’t know how it happened”
I had to steer the conversation. I asked why he did this. This time it took longer to respond, it looked like they weren’t a fast typer, or was thinking too thoroughly for a basic text message.
“To make sure your stream goes as planned”
After the message, the green online icon beside him turned gray. I was left with that. I checked my clock as my dad approaching me and was done with his phone call too. Clock was pointing at 10:30. If I hadn’t started to head back home I surely would’ve been late.”Let’s go home dad, I’m feeling a little tired”“It has barely been 2 hours”“Still, I think that’s enough for me, do you mind giving me the house keys at least?”
He got the keychain out of his pocket. There were 12 other keys besides the house’s. Half of them I knew: Car key, Basement key, 2 shop keys (he owned one of the thrift stores) , finally the garage key and the safe key. Even after this much i didnt know what the other six keys did. I never ever saw them before either. I started to play with the keychain, holding the keys I knew and spun others because it made a pleasant noise. I then placed the keychain in my pocket.
Ten minutes later I stopped only to see that the road was separated into , that would take longer but had more street lamps.Other way was the direct one that we used to come to town square. Which one should I have chosen? I don’t have any idea to this day. Just a small, unimportant decision turned my life around.
After a moment of hesitation I chose the left way, the way which had more street lamps. After all, I’ve heard pickpockets or maybe worse kidnappers roaming around nighttime, especially in secluded, dark places.
Besides, my family was going to use this path when returning.With all these logical justifications I took a step into the path I chose. Nothing happened a step later… Nothing happened after three steps… I continued walking. Now that I was relieved I just wanted to take a warm shower then sleep. Just then I got another message. I sighed and opened the message. This was rather amusing at this point. They weren’t scary anymore. Just a weirdo saying random things.Nonetheless my amusement would come to an end when i started reading the message:
“Go to your home, don’t arrive later than 11:30 when you arrive, open your laptop and immediately start streaming your radio. At the end of the stream leak your phone number. You can show it for one millisecond, it doesn’t matter. Or you can leak it in binary, morse or base 64 if you want absolute privacy.I will answer your questions if you comply. If you fail any step i will kill you. I am at the end of the road.I would be sprint if i were you, you shouldn’t have picked the longer path”
I started to run. It was too late to shift my way to the shorter path. My clock was showing a freaking 11:10 pm. My heart was pounding. My lungs were hurting. Yet I was running from a pitbull with a gun or a knife instead of sharp teeths. Ten minutes later I started to see the home’s structure.Just then I fell and collapsed to the ground. I quickly stood up and ran with a now injured right leg.I saw a silhouette in a hoodie waiting for me. I took a look at my clock again. It was 11:25 now. “Time is about to run,” the silhouette said.
His voice tone was resembling a man in his 20’s. But i had no time to think about that. I was thinking about the silver gun i saw for a moment.When i came into the doorstep. I took out the keychain and started to try them one by one. But I didn’t have time for that. Clock could hit 11:30 any moment now. Then i somehow i remembered i played with keychain. I played with the keys i knew:
Home,Car,Shop,Garage,Safe. So they were warmer than other keysI was quickly able to find the key. Since the shop keys were the same I eliminated them. Car key was different as it had a plastic cover and the safe key was too small for an ordinary door. And luckily I have already tried the garage locks key. I dashed towards my laptop and quickly entered the streaming website. I closed the camera and started airing my stream. Just when I was relaxed, I noticed the time: 11:32 And surprise surprise. Text guy had entered my room and pointed his gun toward my head. I opened the lights and was able to get a better look at him.
He was taller and well-built. Even though it didn’t matter because he had a gun and I wasn’t taking the risk to assume it was empty.”Are you gonna shoot me now”“Depends, you’re this shows star, and i am the jury.”“What?”“Show your performance and say no more”
I slowly turned my eyes to the empty laptop. Technically this was a functional stream and it had to be proper. My life depended on this. So I started telling the only story i couldn’t tell worse of it:
Morning when I woke up with the alarm, sunlight was heading towards me, making me feel warm and fuzzy. I didn’t want to get out of bed…