The lights in the hall flickered as I moved. On and off, on and off. I was breathing so loudly that it echoed off the walls. My breathing and my heartbeat pounding in my ears were all I could hear and my feet slamming down on the concrete floor added even more noise to the cramped space. I could tell that something was behind me, and it was right on my heels, but I couldn’t see it. I felt a cold presence envelop me and my sight suddenly went foggy. I stopped running; I was basically blind now. I felt a strange pressure on my forehead, was it the thing’s hand? I couldn’t tell. The fogginess continued until I saw only blackness.
“I need to show you something.” It whispered in a quiet, raspy voice. It’s voice filled my ears and it’s visions filled my head. I saw a body on the ground next to me, I couldn’t see the body’s face. All I could hear were screams; both screams of horror and the kind of screams that you make when your heart is shattering into a million pieces but there’s nothing you can do to stop it. I knew the sound of the latter quite well.
“Please, what are you?” I cried.
“I don’t have time to explain that to you. I need you to know what will happen if you continue doing what you’re doing.” It replied. I sunk down to the ground and tears dripped down my face. I still couldn’t see anything but I could feel the wetness growing on my cheeks.
“If you’re going to kill me just get it over with.” I said to the thing that had taken complete control of my body.
“I’m not here for that, you’re the one putting yourself at risk, and if you keep doing it you may die, but it won’t be by me.” I blinked and kept blinking hoping that my sight would clear and I could get away. The vision didn’t fade.
“Please leave me alone, I’m begging you, please!” I yelled, balling up my fists and slamming them against the dirty floor.
“You’re begging me? Just like all those people that begged you? Why should I listen? You didn’t.” The thing said with an edge in its voice. “This is a warning. Listen to it.”
I gasped and sat up quickly in bed. It had only been a dream, thank god. My head hurt and I could still hear it’s voice echoing in my ears. I glanced at the clock. 3:31 AM on the dot. I stood up and I pressed myself against the wall to steady myself. Remy whined at the end of the bed and jumped down. Sweat was dripping off my body and the sheets were soaked and I figured I was already up so I might as well change them. Little dog feet clicked across the floor behind me as I made my way to the linen closet for clean sheets. I had never been more glad to see this old shitty apartment than I was right now. I just needed to just take deep breaths and pull myself together.
You may be wondering who I am, lately I’ve been wondering the same thing. I think that I used to be a good person. I like to think that I was someone people would look up to. I had friends, and I had family that would actually talk to me. Within the last year it all changed. Mom died and dad refused to speak a word to me again; the rest of the family took his lead. He told me not to bother going to the funeral. All of my friends but one stopped replying to my texts. Garret replied once and I never heard from him again either. He told me I was a selfish liar and I really fucked things up and to just not contact him again. He wished me the best and hoped I could turn things around but he was done. I tried replying but I think he’d already blocked me. I used to be stronger. I used to be willing to fight for the things that mattered to me but I’m just too tired and it’s just too hard now I think. It’s me Remy now and there’s not much I can do to change things. It is what it is. Anyway, enough of that sad backstory, I’m sure you’ve heard it all before.
I finished making the bed and I decided to head to the kitchen for a glass of water. Remy followed behind right on my heels like earlier. She was my sweet girl and of course just a dog but still I felt a shiver as if the thing from my dream was chasing me again. I pulled a glass out of the cabinet and turned on the tap. I realized I was still exhausted. I stood in the kitchen for a few minutes sipping my water. I was going to go back to bed but there was a nagging feel in my chest just worrying about going to sleep and getting stuck back in that horrible dream. I walked to the bathroom and turned on the light. I splashed some water onto my face and glanced up into the mirror. That was a mistake. I was a mess. My skin was pale and lifeless. My cheekbones looked painfully sharp and my eye bags were purple and dark as coal. I quickly looked away.
“Fuck.” I whispered. I put my thin fingers to my face. I was breaking out yet again. Every time I looked in a mirror I hated what I saw looking back at me. This was the only mirror in the apartment. I avoided them as much as I could. It was like they haunted me, always a constant reminder of the things I didn’t want to see. I knew it wasn’t possible but sometimes when I looked hard enough I thought I could see my mothers face. That wasn’t what bothered my the most though. Sometimes I also saw who I used to be. A girl with healthy, glowing skin, shining eyes and a smile that would light up a room. I picked up the glass from the bathroom counter and took a sip.
“One more look as a reminder I guess.” I said to Remy, who was watching me intently from the doorway. I looked in the mirror and dropped my glass. I stares at it as it hit the tile and shattered. Remy started barking wildly. I brought my gaze back to the mirror. Of course there was nothing there. I thought I’d seen a black silhouette behind me when I looked that second time. I rubbed my eyes. I felt like I was losing my mind. This was yet another reason to add to the growing list of reasons why I hated mirrors. I pet Remy and she slowly started to relax and stopped barking. We headed back to the bedroom and I curled up under the blankets. An hour had passed since the nightmare. Even after the things that happened and my growing reluctance to sleep, my body had betrayed me and my eyelids grew heavy as I began to drift off to sleep.