Yeah, I know this might look like some post about some kookie people that somehow live close to me but you are absolutely correct. Well, I live in the Horsesand apartment complex and It’s not very big. I won’t say exactly where it is because that would just be stupid and I’m not a moron. I lived in this place for 3 years and no sadly I don’t have a roommate or anything like that. I just live here by myself and the rent is nice.
Well, the first time I felt this place was off was when I met my next-door neighbor Cathie. Cathie is an old bastard who steals my mail every chance she gets so and yells at me if I’m being “too loud”. What defines too loud is anything other than a whisper apparently. She is 73 years old and lives with her 2 cats and unlike her, they aren’t bastards. I love the little guys and feel bad for them because they have to live with her.
Back to the topic, the first time I met Cathie. I just moved in out of my dad’s house and then I see this old woman carry her wheelchair up the stairs and sit back down in it. I look at her quizzically because it wasn’t one of those small wheelchairs that you get after a hospital visit but a giant fucking electric wheelchair. I say “Uh hello starting today I will be your new neighbor.” and all she replies with is “Don’t make any noise or I will report you.” she then moves her wheelchair to her door and then enters her apartment. I sit there offended by her and the smell of ammonia wafting from her place.
It was a few hours later when I was watching tv and just enjoying being alone without someone yelling at me then I hear banging on the wall. “KEEP IT DOWN.” I frowned, even here I can’t go a second without someone yelling at me. I wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up but that would be rude so I bang on the wall back and told her to have a nice day. I would continue this for every 30 minutes until she got the point that I wasn’t messing around.
The next day I go to get my mail to find it all missing and the package that I ordered was also gone. I knock on Cathie’s door and waited for her to answer. She violently opened the door and a look of displease on her old face. I peer inside and see a package shaped like it would have a 22” monitor in it and the same kinda weirdly placed tape on the packaging that my Amazon delivery man sent me to confirm that he put it there. I also get a smell of the cat piss and almost revolt.
“what do you want.” She asked angrily and I just reply with a “fun looking package, what’s in it if you don’t mind me asking?” The shock and guilt on her face was then replaced with anger. “Why would you want to know?” I just took out my phone and pulled up the email with that photo and then she just went straight-faced and said nothing. “yeah that’s what I thought.” We don’t exchange any more words, she just takes my package and gives it to me. I then go inside and to my surprise, I hear her chanting some hex on me from the wall.
I was feeling good for like an hour until I go to my car and as I go downstairs something trips me and I fall. I was unscathed and keep moving to get to my car to get to work. I then start driving and right when I get to a red light a car crash just so happens to unfold in front of me. I had to sit there for about an hour as some scared teenager rushes to the car calls the police. The woman in the other car had to have an ambulance called for her. Now at this point, I was a bit mad but who wouldn’t be? I couldn’t catch a break until I showed up late at the tech company I work for. My computer was very slow and wouldn’t work at all.
I finally get through the day and go home but even that was a pain because the normal way was closed for obvious reasons. I had to take the long way and every traffic light I stop at was red. I couldn’t believe it, was the old woman really some type of witch, or am I just having an unlucky day? Now even today I have horrible luck and honestly, I blame it on Cathie. Well, I go knocking on her door again and she wasn’t mad, just shocked. She then closes the door and I am just there wondering to myself what the fuck just happened.
Now she isn’t the worst person I have the displeasure of living near and definitely not the weirdest. But I will save that for another time because this post is getting long so I guess this is goodbye for now. But who knows I might post again soon.