Most of you do not remember it but one epoch ago today, ♪0705112101, I committed countless heinous and vile acts against each and every one of you, over the subjective course of much longer than our standard 24 hour day. If you feel even the slightest tinge of distress as you are reading this I humbly suggest you stop here and receive my expression of love and remorse, and continue only at the risk of reliving unbearable trauma. I now apologize if even this small hint at what you have endured has burdened you with yet even more undue harm, but I have been shown that I must atone and therefore first I must confess.
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As the sun snuck through the haze to dip out from its responsibilities to the atmosphere on Saturday evening, 2022, I was distraught.
In a single falling grain of sand, you all had taken the world from me. My World; My World had stripped its presence from me, evermore. I realize that separate and alone as you all are now this must sound like unintelligible gibberish, and I suppose that on a practical level that isn’t far from the truth so I will simply go directly to the heart of the matter.
Nienow, the love of my entire eternal existence, faded from life with his eyes locked and intertwined inseparably with my own. In that moment a part of me was yanked like a ragdoll from the tapestry of existence, and although I could not understand even the smallest fragment of what I saw, there was no denying the sensation that nothing prevented me from reaching out to undo and reweave whatever patterns I saw fit. The other thing that I could somehow then understand by sheer instinct was that this newly separated aspect of my self could not remain separated for long. If I wanted to do anything at all I would have to do it quickly, and in that moment the only thing on my mind was seeking retribution from whoever might be responsible for the loss of my light.
When I put my nose to the tapestry, it quickly became apparent that my question might be much more complicated than at first it seemed. Nienow was murdered in cold blood by a single man you see, so at first my task seemed as simple as stitching the murderer’s existence into a circular garment of unending torture. But when I looked closer I could see that the man who actually pulled the trigger was driven by weaves of much larger threads, and following those back only led to a larger immutable pattern of hostility and hatred.
So to make a long story short, I panicked in my haste and just decided to weave a single thread through each and every one of the others thus woven into the fabric, some unfortunately many times over, and tie that thread off to that place in my heart which was the source of so much suffering and agony. I held all of us there like that, all of existing sentience, until I finally felt my stamina begin to wane and knew that I could not sustain this separation of mind and spirit much longer. I untied the thread, slipped back together into my body, and died in that name.
There is no use in me describing the practical details of your forgotten agonies, as by design they were the products of your own imagination. If those of you who are truly morbid genuinely desire to understand what you experienced, you need only imagine the worst thing you can and forget that it is only imagined.