Uhh… Howdy. Name’s Dan.
I’ve never really been good at this whole writing thing, thought it was kinda overrated. But considering the circumstances, I’ve kinda run out of options, so I’m looking for a little bit of help regarding my most recent… Situation. I’ve heard you guys are kinda the ones to talk to about stuff that’s just a bit weirder than most folks are comfortable with, so here I am.
See, I’m homeless. Not gonna really make any excuses about it, though I do think that I’ve been prepped for failure ever since I was young. Father was an alcoholic, mother was never around, yada yada. I’m sure you guys have heard the same story a hundred times. But basically when I was eighteen, I was turned out on the street without a dollar to my name and told to “figure it out”.
I’m twenty-three now. They’ve been a tough few years, though not as bad as they could’ve been. I live in Toronto, so there’s always some food place throwing the leftovers out at the end of the night, and I’ve actually built up a rapport with some of the nicer workers. Sometimes I’ve even got a hot meal waiting for me, microwaved right before closing. I’ve got a tent that I stole from my father’s shed when I left, so it’s not all bad.
I’ve thought about getting back on the tracks, going about things like I’m supposed to. Getting a job, a house, or really any permanent residence. Let’s be real, even you people doing well aren’t gonna afford a house in Toronto anytime soon.
But I’ve never really been able to hold down work because of this issue I’ve got; when I was first out on the road, I fell in with a pretty rough crowd. Tried mushrooms for the first time, and had a really bad time. Ever since then, I’ve pledged to be clean on all accounts of drugs; never really wanted to be like all the other homeless people you see. But ever since I tried those mushrooms once, I’ve been… Seeing things. Kinda like a trip, but in a weird way not? It’s hard to explain, but the general thing I’m trying to say is that holding down a job is tough because I’ll see like, a sea monster in the sink and freak out in front of a customer.
I’ve gotten used to most of them at this point, but my mind’s crafty sometimes.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. When I got away from that crowd and moved to a different part of the city, I was walking along one night when I found a dog. She was a really young golden retriever, probably only a couple months old, and looked practically starving when I found her. So I took advantage of a couple relationships and got her a nice, juice steak cut up into appropriately sized pieces, and managed to get a leash that I could keep her on.
I never really used the leash. Once I gave her that steak, we were just kinda hooked.
Her name is Scarlet. I don’t really remember why I picked that name. But either way, she’s been my guardian angel ever since, and has actually really helped with my whole hallucination thing. See, whenever something’s there and Scarlet doesn’t bark at it, it means that it’s fake. If Scarlet does bark, it’s real.
So we had a good little system going. She was my best friend, and probably kept me from offing myself more times than I could count. I would only ever think of what the hell my dog was going to do if I were dead, considering I was all she’d ever known. The issue is that I never really stopped to think about what would happen to me if my dog was gone.
I can’t find her right now.
We’ve been staying in the sewers for the past month or so, just out of sight of the manhole cover, because it’s currently winter. If you aren’t aware, wastewater stays around fifteen degrees Celsius all year round, which is much warmer than the snow outside. It smells a bit rank, sure, and the heads peeking out of the water are a bit worrying sometimes, but it’s better than freezing to death out there.
It was last night when I woke up in my tent and found that Scarlet wasn’t there; we always slept curled up next to each other for warmth, so it was weird that I hadn’t noticed it earlier. The weirdest part, though, was that the tent was zipped up; I couldn’t find any meaningful way that she could’ve gotten out in the middle of the night, and I looked around that tent for an hour or more.
Eventually, I kinda had to decide that she had wandered off, and I wasn’t gonna get any sleep without knowing where she was. So I decided to get a move on, and try to find my dog.
The first thing I did was go over towards the water’s edge and kneel down beside it, swishing my hand around in the foul-smelling brackish for a good minute or two.
“Pablo!” I called out, staring down into the inky darkness. “You down there man? Come on, I know it’s been a little while, but you don’t gotta ignore me.”
Before my eyes, the dark water began to shift a little bit. The small pocket flashlight I held in my hand flickered a couple times, and I nodded my head in agreement. I’d forgotten that Pablo hated the light. So I turned it off, and watched the water in front of me swell and wither, the disgusting soup of the underworld coagulating until there was a form sitting in front of me, barely outlined in the inky, dissonant light of the sewers. Black sludge flowered from the being in opulent roses, before sliding off and down into the ocean in which it dwelled.
“Howdy, Pablo.” I said, looking around the place with a wrinkled nose. “You seen Scarlet anywhere around here? Can’t find her.”
There was an odd undulation from the dark, horrific being in front of myself, and I grunted before standing up.
“Thought so. Appreciate it anyways; it’s weird that she’s not with me.”
The mass undulated again, and I waved goodbye before turning around and turning on my flashlight once more, looking off into the distance of the massive Toronto sewer system. This wasn’t an adventure I was excited for, but it was one that I had to make.
I left my tent and stuff set up just in case Scarlet found her way back while I was gone; I said goodbye to the raccoon that was currently living in my pillowcase and left the flap opened just a hair, in case he needed to go to the bathroom or something. I took my water bottle and a couple granola bars from my pack, tucked them into the crusty pockets of my five year old khakis, and started making my way down the sidewalk.
Now, I’m no expert. I’m not exactly sure what kinds of things belong in a sewer system, and because I didn’t have Scarlet nearby, I wouldn’t really be able to tell. But I kept a hand on the wall, remembering some old myth about that, and marched forward in search of my lost puppy.
The sewers are agonizingly dark, if you aren’t aware. It’s somewhere in between closing your eyes and plucking them both out of your skull, so I was thankful to have the flashlight to keep me from falling into the sewage or something. I’m sure Pablo wouldn’t exactly be happy with me if I did that, so I tried to keep away from the ledge whenever possible.
The day passed on pretty easily, though I was worrying more and more with each passing hour. I figured she could’ve gotten up to go to the bathroom, realized she couldn’t get back in the tent, and freaked out a bit? That’s all the information I really had.
My flashlight died pretty quickly. It was sad. But fortunately enough, I saw a pretty bright light ahead of me off in the distance, so I followed that instead of the flashlight. Eventually the light was bright enough that I shielded my eyes, and after a few I stopped as I realized I was in some weird room.
I opened my eyes again, and found that I was surrounded by white, iridescent tiles. They reflected a light around the room that I couldn’t find, magnifying it indefinitely and ruining any shadows attempting to live within it. There were two exits leading out of the room, and when I turned around, the way that I had come in was blocked off. I thought that was weird, but didn’t think too much of it.
“Eligite rectam ianuam vel pereat sine intermissione inanis.” A voice said, to which I turned towards the doors. There was a podium made of dark wood sitting between them, and behind that was seemingly a creature made of a brilliant, sparkling light. It radiated outwards in a gentle hum, and I could look at it, even though it seemed like it should be too blinding to manage.
“Uhh… Sorry. Don’t speak any Spanish.” I replied, figuring it was a sort of language barrier. The being didn’t move, simply repeating itself, but I’d had enough at this point. I moved off to the left and opened the door, stepping back out into the “normal” sewers and continuing to walk down the path. Looking behind me, I didn’t really see any sign of that white room, and just shrugged it off as I moved. I also noticed that my flashlight was alive again, so that was cool; I aimed it forward, trying to keep it off of the water for Pablo’s sake, and I tried to think of anything I could do to find my dog.
“SCARLET!” I called out, trying my best to get a good view of everything out in front of me. Oddly enough, it seemed like the darkness was becoming more intense, overshadowing my measly flashlight and settling in right against the floor, over my feet. It felt funny; like a carpet of little fingers almost, all trying to pry away my shoes. Luckily I have Crocs, so it really didn’t do much. What it did do was annoy me, because it became really hard to see.
“Scram!” I shouted, kicking out at the black mist, which retreated at once in front of me. I stepped out of the fog-like curtain and aimed my light forward again, but this is where things get kinda… Fuzzy.
I don’t really remember what happened after that. I know that I was walking, and I know that I stayed away from the water, but all of a sudden I kinda just woke up back at my tent, the raccoon on my lap, and this phone off to the side. I don’t own a phone, so that was kinda weird, but they set it up for me and everything and it had internet somehow. So I kinda just decided to post this here, and see what you guys think?
I’d really like to find Scarlet, she’s all I’ve got in the world. I was wondering if there’s anyone else that has experienced anything like this, and can point me in the right direction? I would appreciate it a ton. Thanks so much!
~Dan