Right now I’m studying for a test I have tomorrow morning, and as I was studying I got a notification from my school email about a new message in my inbox. I opened it up to find that it was not only from an unknown email that wasn’t even attached to the school, but also that it was sent to the entire school. All of the students, faculty, administrators, even the parents were sent this message. This alone creeped me out me out, which only made me more interested in what was typed. So I started reading. This is what it said:
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I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I am so so so so so sorry. For the longest time I’ve been lying to you all. I’ve been putting on a mask everyday to school, pretending to be someone else, someone better than who I truly am. In truth, I am a nobody. I have no identity, I have no name, I have no family, I have nothing, I only have this email to leave behind to everyone.
I can’t sleep at night anymore, it’s been keeping me up night after night, fantasizing about this moment, thinking, dreaming, hoping for a day like this to come. And alas, I’ve been blessed with a reason. A glorious reason to leave this place and never return. I’ve been telling myself that this moment is the only thing I have to look forward to in my damp, empty, miserable life.
I’ve been suffering in silence for so long, waiting and praying that this fantasy in my mind would come true, and now it has, and I wanted to apologize to you all for it. I want to apologize for any of the stress and anger I have caused everyone around me, although I won’t be here to receive your acceptance or denials for these apologies.
To my friends, I am sorry. I am sorry for always coming to you when I was at my lowest points. I inconvenienced you, and I pushed all my worries onto you, when you should have pushed all of yours onto me. At least now you won’t be bothered by my presence again.
To my teachers, I am sorry. I am sorry for my erratic behavior in class. I can’t help it. It’s swallowed up my true self, dragged it down into the deepest parts of my mind, so much that now I’m an empty, irritable shell of a person, If that’s what you’d call me. I hope now you will be at peace, not having to deal with the stupidity and arrogance I’ve displayed in your classes. I hope they’ll be so much better without me.
To my parents, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being a failure. I’m sorry for not living up to your expectations, not like there were any for me. You brought me into this world, a failure, and now I will leave this world, still a failure. I truly wish the best for you, and the worst for me. I love you.
Now I apologize to all of you, reading this. I’m sorry for wasting your valuable time. I have no time left, so I’ll end my long rambling here. I wish I could see all the smiles you all are getting by reading this. I wish I could see the party you’ll all throw once I’m dead, dancing to the chant, “He’s dead! Hallelujah!” just like how I imagined it. You all must be so glad to see me write my last words. I know I am. Once again, I’m deeply sorry for my existence and for being a piece of waste to humanity. I wish I could have done more, however, my life was over once it started. Thank you, and I’m sorry.
Sincerely,
Jason Everfield
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I’m so confused. Why did it have my name on it? I never wrote anything like that. I’ve been spending the last hour studying for a test, I didn’t write that. I don’t know if this is just a prank or some kind of sick joke. Should I be scared, should I run, should I blow it off? I don’t know what to do.
Hold on, someone’s banging on my window.