I have been married to my husband for 7 years, and we have a beautiful 2 year old boy. I have never struggled with jealousy, and I am certainly not an obsessive wife, but I am convinced he is unfaithful.
It all started a few months ago.
They say you can feel when a person’s love fades away. I never believed it, but I swear, there was this one moment, one evening, while we were eating dinner, when he looked at me and I could not make anything out in his eyes. It was hollow. No feeling. I brushed it off, thinking he was just tired. That night, I tried talking to him. He said he was exhausted. I understood. He had been feeling down for some time.
Over the next weeks, he seemed to grow more distant, more… distracted. I know when a man is distracted. Hell, I have had that power over him once. Now, however, something in my mind was telling me there was another.
He came late from work once, not by 2, 3, even 15 minutes, but 2 hours. I had called him twice. As soon as he entered the living room, I just knew, and my heart broke. I confronted him, and he went pale. He tried explaining. I was livid. How can he break up a family so easily? Our kid deserves to be with both parents, not torn between them, with a dad longing over some younger chick and a lonely mom. He yelled at me, told me he had been working late, I yelled back. He asked not to do this in front of our son. I am not going to lie, I did feel sorry for Stefan. He looked so scared.
Time passed, and things seemed to be fine. However, I had this fear creeping in the back of my mind, that he would leave me. Sometimes he’d come to me smelling peculiar, sometimes he’d have this smile on his face, as if he’d just remembered something from far away, that didn’t concern me. He even seemed happier. As if he had overcome the bad months he had had. Was I the sadness? Was I the one who was bothering him? That is the thing, sometimes, when your partner is cheating, you even feel as if you’re interrupting something. As if YOU are in the way, which is ridiculous.
I had decided to take the matter in my own hands and go searching for her. Went to his workplace. Here they were, in front of everyone! How could he display his affair so proudly?
It didn’t stop there. She met my son. MY son.
And now she lives here. With him. With US.
How can he do this do me? Just brush me over? Forget I ever existed? She sleeps in my bed. She sits at MY table. And I suffer and weep. He sometimes glances at me, turns pale, and quickly looks away. He always holds her hand, even when he is sleeping. She stole my life.
All I’ve been doing, lately, is stare. I just walk, stare and sometimes, at night, when he sits still, I hold his hand. That’s when he has his nightmares.
At least my son remembers me. He is the only one that responds. He is sensible, and kind to his mother. He would never kick her out of his home.