–Ugh. My chest really hurts. I just need a moment… just need to sit down by this tree. I wasn’t feeling so bad after the car crash I caused just a bit ago, but the seat belt really did dig in, and I’m not used to all this running. Have I still got Paschar on me? Yes? Good.
He’s telling me to rest here. Just relax and let the police deal with Felix. Don’t go after him.
I can’t rest here, there might be ants. I don’t want ants crawling all over me if I fall asleep under this tree. Besides, I’ve got a better chance of stopping Felix, because all I have to do is get near him and tell him to buzz off and never return or something. I hope that works. Where even am I? What house number is this? Sixty four?! There are way too many houses on this street.
“Gotta… get to Meredith.” I feel really out of breath.
Paschar is still trying to stop me. He’s saying, Lily, if you go–
“–I’ll die.” I feel it. I know he’s right. Paschar is always right. But if I know it, maybe I can change it. I don’t have to die. I don’t want to die either, jeez. There’s nobody better at not dying than me. Who else can see death coming? Nobody. Even the lady in black who works with the angel of death can’t see it coming like I can. I just gotta be focused when I get there, stop Felix, help Meredith and–
–and my chest is really, really sore. I bet I’ve got a big, seat belt-shaped bruise on it. Maybe I’ll just relax here a bit, like Paschar says.
No. I’ve got to get up. I’ve got to get to eighty six Rosemont, the green house with the white window frames that I can still see in my head, but it’s getting darker, like the memory is fading.
I get to my feet, check my shoelaces because I don’t want to trip over them when I’m saving the day and have that be the way I die, then start to run down the sidewalk again. Felix is nowhere in sight. There’s sirens back behind me, probably pulling up to where I made Felix crash my dad’s car. I wonder where my dad is. If Felix had his car, and Felix answered our phone at home, he must have done something to my dad. I don’t want my dad to be dead. He was going to teach me to play the drums like Roger. And the harmonica, though I’m less interested in that. Don’t be dead, Dad!
There’s the green house ahead. I recognize the mailbox. A black car is parked in the driveway. It probably belongs to one of Meredith’s foster parents. Or both. Maybe they have only one car. Not every family has a car for each adult after all. Then again, maybe they didn’t go straight home after whoever picked Meredith up from school. If I got suspended for turning another student’s backpack into a fireball, I’m sure my dad would take me straight home, but maybe Meredith’s foster family would take her to see a doctor or return her to the orphanage or something because they think she’s defective. Poor Meredith, she’s not defective, she’s just special! And maybe she’s just in the house like I originally assumed, getting grounded for nearly burning Lisa Welch into a cinder.
I limp up the driveway because my legs are starting to feel sore and I’m having some serious pain in my chest. Something stabby feeling is going on in my side. It makes me just want to sit down and cry but I don’t have time for that. That’s my motto right now, I don’t have time for crying. No time to cry.
I ring the doorbell. It’ really fancy sounding, like they’ve got an orchestra playing bells inside. I don’t know what I’m going to do if nobody answers. Maybe bang on the door a bunch, then check the windows to see if I can see inside. What if Felix is already in there murdering Meredith and her foster parents? What if they’re having some sort of epic battle like you see in the movies and she’s got flaming fists and he’s doing… whatever it is he does. He’s throwing secrets. You know, come to think of it, Felix’s gift or curse or whatever it is isn’t really all that great in a fight.
An elderly lady with white hair answers the door. She’s wearing a blue dress with flowery spirals on it like my Nana used to wear. Remember to be respectful, I think to myself.
“Hello!” she says with a smile. It doesn’t look phony. I can tell phony adult smiles. They can curl their mouth up but they can’t change how they’re really feeling in their eyes. Phony smiles are like when someone points a camera at you and tells you to smile and say cheese but you’re trying to hold in a fart. “You must be Lily.”
“How did you know?” I forget what I was going to say. Why does everybody know who I am?
“Merry’s told us about you,” she says, “She’s described you to a ‘T’. It’s very sweet of you to come check on her. I know that the whole incident at school was some sort of mistake. She’s up in her room if you’ve come to see her.”
“Would you please call the police, ma’am?” I ask as politely and calmly as I can. I’m about ready to double over in pain.
She sees me clutching my side and trying to stay upright in the doorway. “Oh dear, are you alright?”
“There’s a… weasel-faced man… coming to hurt Meredith. Please–”
She steps aside and gestures to a set of stairs. This house is really nice inside. They’ve got carpeting all over and unlike the carpeting in my house it looks like they vacuum it regularly. Ours looks like someone regularly spills coffee on it. Probably because someone regularly spills coffee on it. “You go see Merry and sit down. I’ll get on the phone, okay? Would you like something to drink?”
“No thank you.” Actually I could use some lemonade, but it might hurt to swallow. I hobble past her and hold the bannister as I drag myself up the stairs. Even the bannister is nice. It’s all polished and smooth with no splinters sticking out of it. Meredith’s lucky her foster parents keep their house really clean.
There’s five rooms on the second floor. Meredith’s is probably the one that’s on fire. Only none of them are on fire. I don’t smell smoke either. That’s good. I gotta be careful though, because when I’m this close, if she’s angry, she might burn the whole house down not realizing I’m in it with her.
“Meredith!” I call. I really just want to sit down.
She pokes her head out of the room at the end of the hall. “Lily?”
I walk slowly down the hall to her. My back and neck are starting to throb as well. “Are you okay?” I ask.
Her bedroom has wood paneling. At least I hope it’s just paneling. Maybe there’s brick underneath. That’d be safe. Bricks don’t catch fire, do they? I hope it isn’t something shoddy underneath, or super flammable. Paschar says it’s plaster underneath the fake paneling. He’s such a help. I don’t see myself getting burned to death, so I’m trusting my ability to see things before they happen to warn me. I’ve got to be very careful. I still have that feeling I’m gonna die, and I need to be ready to react if the moment comes.
Meredith sits down at a desk with a lamp and a glass cage that’s got a turtle in it. Oh my God, so lucky! I want a turtle. I’ve had two, Donatello and Raphael, but I was looking at one just the other day that would make a good Leonardo. It died though. Along with every other animal in the pet store. And a couple people in the food court apparently. I can’t believe anyone trusted Meredith with a pet. I guess turtles aren’t too easy to burn, they just gotta hop in the water to put themselves out.
“I’m alright.” Meredith looks at her feet. I think she does that to keep her hair hanging in her face over the scars from the fire that killed her parents.
‘Okay, look,” I lean in the doorway and watch the turtle try to climb the glass of its tank. “That’s a nice turtle. Also, there’s a man– weasel– I was in a car accident– I need to sit down. I might be dying.”
Meredith’s bed looks really comfy. She’s got three big pillows to lay her head on. I could probably fall asleep on them but my brain is racing. And it hurts lying down. Worse than standing up, actually. Let’s not lie down. No, sitting isn’t any good either, it’s so soft that I feel like I’m putting pressure on my chest all hunched over. I’m going to kneel here beside the bed. Okay, that works. Guh.
Meredith watches me flop on the bed, then roll around on it a bit, sit up, then slide off and crouch on the floor beside it. “You told me about the car accident. And the weasel. There aren’t any weasels around here though.”
“No, it’s a man– with a weasel face. His name is Felix. And this was a different car accident. I just made him crash… down the street. He’s coming for you. And I think I’m dying.”
“What? Why?”
Is it getting hot in here? The room feels like it’s starting to heat up. I can almost smell it. Maybe it’s just me. I’m in a lot of pain. I think I’m sweating. I really hope the police get here soon. Maybe an ambulance too.
“Why which part?” I can’t catch my breath.
“Why is he coming for me?”
“Because you killed my boy.”
We both turn and look. Felix is standing in the door to the hallway. His face looks kinda swollen on one side and there’s blood running down his forehead and neck. He looks almost like a zombie. I don’t like zombie movies because they always show the people getting torn apart and then their insides get eaten. I saw one once on a Halloween movie marathon. My dad thought it would be okay because it was in black and white and those usually aren’t too scary but this one was super scary. Felix is only half as scary as that movie.
“Where’s Mrs. Lake?” Meredith asks, standing up and moving toward me. I’m having trouble breathing, but I manage to pull myself up somewhat to face him.
Paschar is saying something. It’s hard to hear him though. Lily, you need to do something.
“Your foster mother? She’s fine. She’s taking a nap. I’m not here for her.” He steps into the room, dragging one of his feet. There’s blood coming off him from somewhere and he’s leaving a trail on the floor. I hope it’s his blood and not Mrs. Lake, who I assume is the nice lady who answered the door. It looks like there’s something in Felix’s other hand. Oh God, it’s probably a knife or something.
“Mr. Felix,” I say, straightening up, “You’re going to drop what you’ve got and walk out of here.”
He smirks at me. “No, I’m not.”
“Yes. Uh. Yes you are.” Really? Now? It’s not working now? What gives?
Felix steps toward us. Meredith moves closer to me and I put my arm around her. Mostly because I think I’m going to collapse and I don’t want to collapse. This sucks.
“Did she tell you, Meredith?” Blood runs down over his eye. So gross. Can we pause this showdown and you go wash yourself up, please? We can take turns if you promise not to kill Meredith while I’m trying to fix whatever’s digging into my side. In fact, let’s both call this whole thing off and go get checked at the hospital.
“Tell me what?”
“What a good friend she is, keeping secrets from you.”
“What secrets?” Meredith looks at me.
I start to shrug but that makes shooting pain go up my side. “He’s trying to get in your brain! Burn him, Meredith!”
“That’s right, Meredith, burn me. Like you burned my boy, Joey. Remember him? Remember the carnival?” He moves closer. We step back. We’re running out of space in the bedroom. It’s a big bedroom too. I wish my bedroom was this big. And that I had a turtle. And that I wasn’t here, dying from internal injuries or something, and dealing with a crazy man.
“That was an accident.” Meredith mumbles. She holds me up. I really appreciate her holding onto me. “I didn’t mean to cause the fire. It’s never just happened like that before.”
“Mr. Felix, you’re going to jump out the window!” I yell.
Felix shakes his head and makes a face like I’m some sort of idiot. “Will you knock it off?” He looks back to Meredith and steps toward us again. “I know it was an accident, dear. I know you didn’t mean to hurt anybody then.”
“So then why do you want to kill her?” I say angrily. There’s just enough strength in my legs to step between Felix and Meredith, so I do it. Lily Madwhip, human shield. This is where I die, right Paschar? Oh, he’s over on the bed. And he’s gone quiet. Stupid angel.
“When did I ever say I was going to kill her?” he shakes his head again, this time with amusement, but there’s blood running down his face so it’s kind of hard to see the funny in all this.
I’m confused at this point. “You said–”
“I said that I needed to protect the rest of us from her, you silly girl. People like you and me. Not simple, plain, ordinary people. Don’t you see what happens when people like us come together?” He turns to Meredith. She looks as confused as I feel. “She didn’t tell you that either, did she? She’s full of secrets, your friend Lily. You both are, in fact.”
Meredith looks at me with her good eye. “Tell me what?”
Felix is smiling. “When someone like you and someone like me are together, our gifts become amplified. Your gift of fire, her gift of seeing the future, my gift of knowing people’s secrets. Right now, you can make fire without touching anything. She can cause things to happen just by saying it. And me, well… I make people finally tell the truth.”
Except I can’t seem to make things happen because I just tried twice to make Felix do something and he laughed in my face. Maybe I’ve lost my ability because of this pain I’m feeling.
“What do you mean?” Meredith asks.
He turns to me. “What scares you, Lily?”
What? That’s a weird thing to ask. And yet, I feel an overwhelming need to tell them both. I can’t control my mouth or my brain.
“Sharks!” I yell. Sharks are terrifying. They’ve got multiple rows of teeth. It’s like God said, “I’m tired of people going swimming in my oceans and bothering all the fish so I’m going to make one fish that’s huge and has a zillion teeth and crazy eyes and all it does is eat you.” Thanks, God. Thanks for sharks.
Felix blinks. “Yes, but what else scares you?”
“Clowns,” I admit. I don’t understand why anyone thought up clowns. They are pure nightmare fuel.
Felix is frowning at me. I guess those weren’t the answers he was looking for because he clenches his free hand up into a fist and looks about ready to hit me with it. “No! You’re afraid that your parents think you’re some sort of freak, and that they don’t love you.”
“Oh yeah.” Yeah, that’s pretty true. After all, if I didn’t exist, they’d probably still have Roger. And Dad loved Roger. Mom did too, but not like Dad did. Sometimes I think they both love me, but the things I say scare them. I don’t want them to think I’m a freak.
Meredith watches us both quietly. “I don’t get it.”
I don’t either, to be honest. Sure, Felix made me say what scares me without me being able to control it, but I would have willingly told them both about my fear of sharks and clowns. I didn’t need to have it forced out of me.
“Why don’t you tell your best friend what you think of her, Lily?” Felix grits his teeth with a smile. That’s that phony smile I was talking about right there. Or maybe he’s in pain like I am, after all his face looks pretty messed up.
“You scare the bejesus out of me.” I say. Oh no! Okay, that I didn’t want to say. Meredith is my friend, and it’s true she scares me, but I would never tell her that because she’s my friend. And because it might piss her off and then cause her to burn me alive like she did to Felix’s son Joey and her own parents.
Felix waves his hands like a magician. “Isn’t it nice to hear the truth for a change?”
Meredith looks at me and I can see she’s hurt by what I admitted. Her lip is quivering which is typically the sign that someone’s about to cry. I take her hands and squeeze them and stare at her, maybe a bit too much– better blink so I don’t freak her out. “You scare me but you’re my best friend. After Jamal. And Paschar really. You’re my third best friend. And I was just in a car accident for you. But your fire powers are terrifying. I’m sorry.”
Felix shakes his head. “What else?”
“Also your face looks kinda like a candle. Oh Jesus, I’m sorry, Meredith!” Stupid Felix! Knock that off! “But I don’t care about how you look! And I know you only look that way because of an accident.” I turn and give Felix my super angry stare. “What does any of this have to do with you protecting me from her?”
The temperature in the room is getting toasty. I think I can see the air waving like when you’re outside in the summer and can see the heat rising off the street. Is this Meredith? Is she doing this? Why can’t I make Felix leave?
“Silly Lily, I’m going to take Meredith and teach her. Teach her how to use her gift the right way, on the right people. After all, I know all her secrets too.”
Meredith stiffens. I squeeze her hands again to try to calm her. I don’t know if things get even stronger with three of us in the same place, and if that’s what’s causing the whole room to heat up. All I know is I need to calm her down, and get Felix away from us. And go to the hospital, because something inside me is sending a really bad stabby stab down my side.
Felix holds out the hand he was keeping hidden away at his side. In it is some folded up piece of paper. “Time to tell Lily what your secret is, Meredith, my girl.”
Meredith is visibly shaking. I know what’s going on inside her because I just had to deal with it. She’s trying to keep from letting the thing in her head come out her mouth. I admit though, I’m actually curious what secret she’s got. So I just raise my eyebrows and watch.
“It wasn’t an accident.” she finally blurts out.
“What wasn’t an accident?” I ask.
She looks at me and her cheeks are deep red. I can’t tell if she’s embarrassed or getting a fever. Even the side of her face that’s burned is blushing. “I set the fire that killed my parents on purpose.”
Okay, well… I’m horrified. I also can’t stand up anymore, so I slump down in the chair by her desk. It wasn’t really because of what she told me, but it probably looks that way to her.
“It’s not what you think!” Meredith tries to pull me back to my feet but I’m in too much pain, so I resist. “They thought I was a monster. Like yours do! After the fire at the carnival, they started locking me in the basement! They would have killed me if they could! I couldn’t make it happen again, the flames out of nowhere, and I didn’t know what else to do, so I used some stuff in the basement to start a normal fire and hoped that the fire department would be called and I’d be found. I didn’t mean for them to die! Or for this to happen to me!” she gestures at the scars on her face.
Felix steps forward and puts a hand on her shoulder. She tenses at his touch, but then seems to relax. I can’t look at either of them, I don’t know what to do anymore. The heat in the room is making me sweat and I want to cough, but I’m afraid coughing will make the pain in my side flare up.
“They deserved what they got, dear.” he says in a creepy, comforting tone. “Besides, you’re leaving out the best part.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you do! The best part was– deep down, you liked burning them.”
I finally do look at the two of them. Felix has an arm around Meredith, and she’s hanging her head ashamed, but nodding at the same time. “I did like it,” she whispers. Her voice is eerily calm, like she just admitted that she likes boy bands, not that she liked murdering her parents.
Oh my God, Paschar tell me this isn’t happening!
He tells me that it is. Nathaniel told us that she burned them. Why would I assume otherwise?
Why can’t I stop this? I ask him, why can’t I make Felix leave?
You cannot make a person act against their own nature.
Okay great, I don’t really know what that means, and I don’t exactly have time to look it up because I’m probably dying here.
Felix takes Meredith by the hand and starts to walk her away from me. “Come with me, dear.”
Meredith pulls away from him and steps back toward me. “I’m not going with you! Lily’s hurt and you’re evil!”
Thank you, Meredith!
“Evil?” he acts offended, putting a hand on his chest like she stabbed him in the heart. “I’m not evil! I want to help you learn to control your gift to help other people, to hurt the people who deserve it! Your foster family isn’t going to understand, any better than your real family did! And you owe me. A life for a life. You took my son away from me. It’s only right that you take his place.”
“Leave her alone!” I croak, clutching my side.
Downstairs, someone bangs at the front door. I hear yelling, “Hello! Is anybody home? I’m looking for a little girl!” Oh I hope they’re talking about me, because I want to get out of this house now. The crazy in here just doubled.
Felix looks at me, and I get the feeling he’s staring into my soul. His weasel features clench up and then his mouth curls into one of those creepy half smiles. “You want to talk about evil, sweety? Your best friend Lily thinks you’re the evil one.”
“That’s not true!” I can’t hold it together, and I slip out of the chair. Now is a completely suitable time to cry, so I do. I want my mom and dad. I want Roger even. He would kick Felix’s butt. He wasn’t strong or nothing, but Felix doesn’t seem like he’s in that good a shape at the moment either. Jeeeez look at the blood on him. I bet I’m bleeding like that inside. I wonder if I’ll get an airlift to the hospital after all this.
Felix turns to Meredith and takes her hand again. She’s looking down at me and holding his hand in return. Not just him holding her hand, she’s holding it back. Meredith, don’t listen to him! He’s a weasel and a trickster!
“I told you I know all her secrets.” he sneers at me.
“Let’s go,” Meredith says quietly. “I don’t need a friend who lies to me.”
From downstairs comes the sound of the front door crashing open. They probably didn’t need to kick it in, I don’t think it was locked. Just try the knob! I always try the knob. Paschar says it was locked. Well okay, what do I know. I’m just curled up here in a ball waiting to die. Is it now? No, still alive. I’ve never felt this much pain before though. Even when we got T-boned back three months ago and Roger died, I got something called whiplash that has nothing to do with actual whips, and it wasn’t this bad.
Someone’s running up the stairs. I hear each heavy footstep, THUMP THUMP thump thump except it sounds like they’re moving away from us rather than toward us. Or maybe this is me passing out. Is my body shutting down? I hear when you die your whole life flashes before your eyes. I wonder if that happened for Roger or Ms. Kristie the therapist? I wonder if my hamster saw its life flash before its eyes? That would have been short.
I take one last look up at Felix and Meredith. They’re holding hands and moving toward the window. She has one of those latched windows you can open easily. The ones in my room you gotta get an adult to pull these little tabs on the side to slide them up. I wonder if I can get my parents to get me windows like the ones Meredith has. Or had, I guess. Assuming I live. Where was I?
Oh yeah, Meredith and Felix, stepping past me to the window, silent as mice, while the sound of someone approaching from the stairs is getting dimmer and softer. Felix has a look of confusion on his face, and is saying something to Meredith, but I can’t hear him. She’s looking over her shoulder back at me and is mouthing something too.
My insides feel like they’re clenching up. I smell charcoal, like when my dad uses the grill to barbecue stuff in the Summer. Speaking of Summer, the temperature in the room is rising again, and there’s a high-pitch whistling like a tea kettle. I don’t like tea. How did somebody come up with the idea of soaking old leaves in water and drinking the grimy stuff that comes off them? That’s just crazy. A lot of food is crazy if you think about it.
Oh no, Meredith must be losing it. There’s smoke filling the room. She’s probably setting everything on fire because Felix told her I’m scared of her and think her burns are ugly. I can feel the heat, but I don’t see the flames, just the smoke. Smoke starting to roll over me like waves. I’m on the beach, and the smoke is the ocean. I’m just going to lie here in this smoke and let it cover me I think. I can drown in the ocean. It’s peaceful and quiet.
But of course, it’s not the ocean and it’s not Meredith. I know it’s not. Just like Paschar told me. Just like I felt it before I got here. It’s death coming for me. The angel of death and silence, Dumah, and the woman in black. She’s here in the doorway to the hall, looking at the three of us as Felix and Meredith are trying to climb out the window and I lie here on the floor. Four of us in the room… really? Four at once? Two weeks ago there was just me and Paschar and now I’m lying here on the floor of Meredith’s bedroom while she runs off with the weasel man to go be super assassins or something and the angel of death just pops by and goes, “hey I heard you guys were having a party!”