Finally, after hours of waiting, queuing, waiting, dozing and waiting some more, the three of us jostled in the organized chaos of the crowd getting on the plane. Me, my partner Eric and my fifteen-year old son from a former relationship, Ali.
It was the first time the three of us were travelling together- it was the first time we were travelling since the pandemic, it was the first time Eric and I were travelling together for more than an occasional overnight away, and we were all beyond excited. We were going for a week to visit family in Europe.
I had regretted the decision several times already- the stories of flight delays and cancellations and the scenes from the major airports around the world was enough to make even the most avid traveller regret purchasing tickets, but now that we were actually boarding the plane and the huge lineups were behind us, the regret was melting away, leaving behind excitement at the prospect of visiting beloved family we had not seen for several years.
Eric and I sat together, a few rows behind Ali, who was sitting next to a lady with turquoise hair. Far enough that when I stood up, I couldn’t quite catch sight of his curly black hair.
Eric was a nervous flyer -he hadn’t flown for decades. We used to travel quite often before the pandemic, and flying didn’t bother me quite as much. We banged our carry-on into the overhead and underfoot spaces. I made the usual calming noises to Eric.
The plane took off smoothly. I was very tired after a restless night and I dozed. At some point I woke to see Ali moving a bit unsteadily towards the washrooms. There was a tiny bit of turbulence. I called out to him but he had already passed between the rows and didn’t turn around or answer.
I didn’t see him come back although I turned my head around once or twice. There seemed to be a bit of a line-up at the toilets.
Eric was talking about something, I forget what. The sky and clouds were beautiful and we were over open water.
They were starting to bring the meals. I wanted to go check in on Ali before the trolleys blocked the passages, but I dilly-dallied and the moment passed. We were immobile in our seats.
The turbulence increased, they stopped serving and everyone had to buckle up.
The worst of the turbulence lasted 10 minutes. Eric looked dreadful. I felt bad for him but I also really wanted to see my son.
Just before they started wheeling the carts, I got up and walked towards his row. I couldn’t quite remember which seat he was in. I looked for him but I couldn’t spot either him or the turquoise hair lady.
I looked back towards the toilet. The recent turbulence must have made people desperate for the washroom as there was a bit of crowd there, and the flight attendants looked a bit flustered, trying to manouver their carts and hand out meals.
“Can you please return to your seat ma’am” one of them called to me, just coming in from the direction from where Ali should have been sitting.
“I’m sorry- just wanted to check on my son” I mumbled, flustered and trying to jam myself in someone’s knees to make myself smaller so she could wheel the cart through.
“Please return to your seat” she said, either having not heard or ignoring me. I looked across the heads and simply couldn’t see him.
“I just need to see my son” I said, a bit louder this time, and some of the passengers looked up, irate at the delay in their meal delivery but also curious.
The flight attendant looked closer at my face. “Ok ma’am, which seat is he in?”
“I can’t quite remember- 15 or 16 I think, but he had the window seat” I said, well aware that I sounded foolish.
“Ok, please return to your seat, I’ll just finish serving this section and then I’ll check in on him, ok?” She sounded gentle, but I knew I had no choice. I returned back to my seat, hearing her murmur “vegetarian? Pasta or chicken?” behind me. The smell of plastic-covered hot food filled the cabin, and I felt sick with fear.
I sat down. Eric remarked “I’m feeling a bit better hon, I could do with a bite.”
-“I didn’t see him”.
-“Who sweetie?”
A wave of intense irritation washed over me. “My son, of course. That’s why I got up.”
“Oh he’s probably in the washroom”.
“No- I saw him go by the previous hour.”
“Well, it’s a plane. It’s not likely he jumped off, is it hahaha. Pasta please” and he reached out eagerly for the plastic tray of food.
Another thirty minutes or so passed. The cabin was quiet, with only the sound of eating and clinking and the low hum of the engines. The flight attendant came back. “ma’am, what is your son’s name?”
I looked up and gave his name. She left again.
I stood up to follow but Eric plucked at me to sit down. “he’s on the plane, sweetie, we came in together! He’s just stretching his legs- what are you worried about?”
Then the lady with turquoise hair walked by my seat. A wave of relief broke over me- “excuse me!” I called to her. She turned round, frowning.
“Excuse me- a teenager, a boy was sitting next to you- my son-“
She looked at me - uncomprehending. Then moved on.
I got up, ignoring Eric’s protests, and walked towards the rows where he should have been sitting.
He was not there.
“Ma’am- can you step this way please?” a strange man took my arm and led me to a curtained alcove.
I was silent. The man said to me. “Ma’am, there is no record of a man with the name you gave boarding this plane.”
My heart dropped like a stone. The hum of the engines made everything blur and flicker. “What do you mean? I whispered. “We boarded together”
He started at me with stony but still considerate face.
“I need you to remain calm ma’am. There’s three hours of flight left. Do you think you can return to your seat and sit quietly until we land? Then we will do a full investigation.”
My tears fell silently, I didn’t make a sound. I didn’t want them to get me too. I nodded obediently, and within a minute or two, I returned to my seat.
That was three years ago. I haven’t seen Ali since. He is caught on security camera throughout the airport, and moving towards the plane to board. Then, he just disappears. I know we saw him on the plane, sitting next to the turquoise hair lady, but he’s in none of the footage they released to us.
I know he was on that plane to Europe.