I’ve been married for over twenty years and sadly to say my marriage isn’t going so great, I’m not the perfect husband to say the least. I love my wife but that flame that was once lit underneath us has vanquished and now I spend most of my time watching T.V. while my wife stares at me with utter disgust. I told her that she needed to get a hobby like me, she laughed as she let out a subtle grunt, berating me for calling my television watching a hobby. I chuckled and told her I also drink so the two practically combine to make a sport, she walked away after that cursing me loud enough so I could hear her echo from the other room. I usually ignored her unless I was out of beer that’s when I would call out for her asking her to go to the store for me, I’ve even shortened my request to a simple
“Babe, beer!”
As I pulled out my last beer from the cooler next to my chair I remained irritated not wanting to turn my gaze from the T.V. the game was on and we we’re in the ‘bottom of the 9th’ so I did my usual call,
“Babe! Beer”.
Though this time I got no response, I felt my irritation gradually morph into a bit of anger.
“Babe!” I shouted out once again, still nothing the house remained still and silent.
I groaned from my own lethargy and crawled out of my ‘lazy boy’ as my knees creaked from the sudden shift in weight.
“Babe, where are you, can you go to the store for me?” I asked with a more sincere tone not wanting to walk any further and that’s when I heard a sound; it was coming from the backyard.
I cautiously slithered my way to my back door entranced by the noise and to my astonishment it was my wife singing, but even more bewildering she was singing in a jovial way. I didn’t know what to think I couldn’t remember the last time my wife even smiled let alone sang. As I stared on with disbelief through my patio screen door I soon realized my wife was gardening. I could see her carefully lay the soil around some new plant and I couldn’t explain it but for whatever reason seeing her happy left me vexed.
“Uh hum” I cleared my voice trying to get her attention.
She kept chanting her song with absolute grace and pleasure.
“Uhm, babe, I’m out of beer” I told her as I held up my beer can.
She finally turned to me and I could see her once smile drop, as she displayed an expression of disdain but honored my request. I could see her shoulders slouch down with absolute apathy, I could only assume how frustrated she must of felt and this made me giggle.
“Gardening now are you?” I asked her as she walked past me, she said nothing just continued out the door not bothering to entertain my comment.
I looked at the plant one last time before going back inside, I couldn’t explain it but something about that small green stem that protruded from the ground sent chills down my spine and I shook my head doing my best to shake off the uneasy feeling of dread as I retreated back into the house.
As the days the passed my wife only grew more happy, spending most of her time in the backyard tending to her garden, I would occasionally walk over to stare at her with a frown on my face. I was actually surprised of how fast her harvest was growing, that strange plant she first set was practically four feet tall. Any time I would walk to the kitchen to grab a beer I’ll catch a glimpse of that horrid plant from the corner my eye, each time it causing my skin to crawl. I couldn’t explain it but I was a bit jealous, seeing my wife spending more time with her stupid garden than with me and everyday she would sing her dreadful song in the backyard, only for me to raise the volume to my T.V. doing my best to drown her out. I even contemplated the idea of just mowing the whole garden down, the mere thought brought a smile to my face but as always the fantasy was better than actually doing it; I was too lazy to actually mow the lawn.
After a few months me and my wife virtually lived separate lives, me spending most of my time in the living room like a normal person and her outside singing to her plants, I gave up by this point and realized if she wanted to waste her life being weird then so be it, that was until I heard the humming. It awoke me around 3am, I practically fell out of bed from the disturbance I could hear that horrid song my wife liked to sing, but this time there were no words rather it was just a hum. I felt my blood pressure spike perturbed that my wife would be up this late and I stormed towards my bedroom window ready to give my wife a piece of my mind. As my eyes scanned the dimly lit yard I heard my wife’s snoring coming from behind. My eyes widened with a bit of fear as I slowly turned my head back to my bed, there she was still asleep.
“hmmmm, hummm, hmmm, hummm”
The humming intensified and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest from the sudden burst of noise.
“What the hell, what is that” I said to myself as I turned back to the dark and secluded patio.
I still saw nothing just darkness engulfing my yard, no movement no shadows, nothing, but that humming and it was getting louder. By this point my befuddlement overwhelmed me and I ran to my wife shaking her to wake up.
“Honey, honey, wake up, do you hear it”.
As she slowly came to I could see how confounded she was to see my frighten face but then she smiled.
“Do you hear that noise” I told her still gripping at her shoulders tightly but that’s when I realized the humming had stopped.
She angrily shoved my arms away and told me to go back to sleep as she retreated her face back to the comfort of her pillow, I remained nerved and shaken, I coward to my study away from my wife and as far away from the backyard.
The next morning I did my best to ignore the garden that blossomed and instead focused on my television, I even considered renting a room from a hotel just to get away from those plants but more intently get away from my wife’s singing. By this time I knew I had to do something, I wasn’t going to live in fear in my own home; so I sat in my chair for hours pounding beer after beer thinking of what to do and as the sun buried itself over the horizon encapsulating my neighborhood in darkness a shimmer of resolve inundated my thoughts, I knew what I had to do.
That night I did my best to act normal, I watched T.V. but in reality I was waiting for my wife to go to bed and as she finally came inside leaving her garden she surprisingly told me
‘good night’.
I was taken a bit back by that and stumbled over my own words as I whimpered back the same,
“uh yeah goodnight honey”.
As soon as I heard her snoring I knew it was time to act, a moment that was surreal and I breathed heavy as I stuck my chin up high with authority. I walked toward my patio and as before I could hear that subtle hum, I approached the garden and stood over the horrid plant. The moon engulfing me in it’s soft glow as the midnight breeze gushed throughout the trees. My eyes remained fixated on the garden as my ears continued listening to that hum; it coming from that dreadful plant. The stem vibrated heavily each time it hit a higher chord and a sinister snarl grew on my face as I tightly gripped a shovel. The vibrating intensified as if the stupid plant knew what I was about to do and with anger and disgust protruding from my very being I buried my shovel deep into the soil as I started to unearth the ghastly beast that laid in the beyond. I could hear a dire mewl screech from underneath the dirt as I tore deeper into the earth, I didn’t realize how massive this thing was.
“Come on you stupid plant, come out, come out” I screamed out into the still and silent night.
With each blow from my shovel that creature gasped out in agony and soon I grew tired as sweat drenched through my shirt. My dry heaving became ubiquitous as that was the only noise that could be heard and I fell to the floor grabbing at my chest. In the moment I had given up and came to the revelation that if my wife loved her stupid garden more than me then so be it, I even laughed understanding how silly I was being and that’s when something grabbed me.
“Arghhhhh” I shouted out.
I turned back to see what it was and to my dismay it was an arm protruding from the ground, it was horrid and I did my best to get it’s grasp to unlock me from its devilish grip. I banged and clawed at the hand and finally it released me, I crawled backwards terrified at what I was seeing; that thing began to pull itself out of the ground. It moaned in gurgled in anguish as it sloshed it’s way out of the soil and all I could do stare blankly petrified from horror, my mind running a million miles an hour trying to understand what was happening. Soon that beast stood to it’s feet and that’s what the most haunting epiphany revealed itself to me, the creature was me. It was an exact replica of me, from it’s balding head to it’s oversize gut, I didn’t know what to think my mouth gaped open from utter disbelief and before I could even say a word that ‘thing’ lunged at me.
It tackled me to the floor thrusting all it’s weight on top of me as it clamped it’s hands over my throat, squeezing tightly. I stared up at the monster as it’s sinister stare gazed back at me and that’s when it began to hum that dreadful song once again. I tried my best to get this beast off me, I kicked and squirmed trying to yell out for help but couldn’t and soon I could feel my vision becoming blurry, my mind casually slipping into darkness. I reached out my arm for something anything and to my delight I felt my shovel it was in arms reach and with the last bit of energy I had I gripped it and swung at this creatures head.
‘crack’
Finally the beast fell beside me unconscious, I gasped out for air inhaling deeply, I still felt faint but gathered myself as I stood to my feet and towered over the abysmal monster.
“What the hell are you?” I shouted at the thing.
I raised my shovel over my head, tears cautiously formed in my eyes as my breathing escalated and with the last bit of vigor I had I connected on the creatures head.
‘crack’
I could see some repulsive green slush oozing from the wound and with that I fell to the floor and passed out.
The sun peaking over the horizon showered over our neighborhood in it’s warmth awakening me, I squinted from the harsh light and quickly remembered what had happened, I looked over at the monster it practically already decayed back into the earth. Still bewildered I arose and overlooked the garden and as the sun revealed my yard the most horrifying revelation became evident and I could feel my heart sink as I vomited from disgust. There were more of those dreadful plants, dozens of them and they all were humming that very same song.