I’ve always been a sucker for surprises. I remember my siblings crouched next to the Christmas tree shaking and inspecting wrapped packages for any clue as to what might be inside. Not me. I’d wait patiently until Christmas morning and peel back the wrapping paper with my eyes closed to prolong the thrill of the unknown. I was born a sucker for suspense and I would die that way.
As an adult, there were precious few surprises I had to look forward to. One day would flow into the next with little hurrah, with months and years following after in an orderly line. Childlike glee for things like Christmas we unbecoming and off-putting for anyone who bought their socks by the jumbo pack and had a direct debit set up for their council tax.
That’s why I loved Cassie. My best friend knew the true value of breaking the monotony. We’d bonded over our love of mystery novels. Twist endings and gruesome murders provided a surprising fertile common ground on which to build a lifetime of friendship. Cassie was the only person in my life who appreciated the true value of shock and awe.
So when June rolled around, it was the perfect opportunity to throw Cassie the ultimate surprise birthday party, one she would never forget. A good surprise party had a few key things that I absolutely had to get right, so I worked dusk to dawn for three days to make sure I had all the details honed to perfection.
People who are special to you have to be there to shock you when you walk through the door. Cassie’s family weren’t the best people, but I know the party wouldn’t be complete without them. Even though her childhood had been rough, I knew they would need to be part of the perfect party. They were less than enthusiastic, and I practically had to abduct them to get them to come along. But sure enough they were in place with the lights down when the time came.
Decorations were a must. I had a box of streamers prepared which would give the space that true party feel. They had a funny smell to them, but I supposed they had been in the box for a few days. I’m sure Cassie wouldn’t mind when she saw the whole scene come together.
Finally the moment of surprise, when the unsuspecting birthday girl walks in expecting something mundane, only for the lights to be thrown on and be blown away by a perfectly executed jump scare. I’d called Cassie over saying I needed help moving some of my heavy tools. Being the obliging saint she was, she hurried over without protest. This set the scene for me to blow her away.
There was a gentle knock on the door, followed by the lock rattling as she turned her spare key and pushed her way into the living room. All at once, I jumped up, flicked the lights on with my left hand, and shouted “SURPRISE” at the top of my lungs.
Her family, of course, did not join me. Her mother, who burned her with cigarettes whenever she cried, sat headless in the armchair. Her father who had left her at 5 months old and only came back whenever he needed money, lay across the sofa with a caricature of a smile carved across his sallow face. Her brother, skilled at hitting her in places where the bruises wouldn’t show, stretched across the floor, his belly split open to access his entrails. They really did smell, but they added a real flair to the lamps and shelves they were streamed around.
Cassie’s face went pale as milk. Tears bubbled at the edges of her wide eyes, and she sunk into a low crouch, her shoulders heaving.
“Do you like your surprise Cassie?” I asked, expectantly.
Her shoulders rose up and down with increasing intensity as a high laugh erupted from deep within her. “How did you know? This is the best birthday ever!”
Looking at her rictus grin made me warm all over. “Of course I knew how to throw you the perfect surprise, I am your best friend after all.”