We met on a dating website I’d say 4 years ago. That’s where it started – first came the picture. His beautiful and giant brown eyes, his cheeks filled with acne scars – scars that told a story, they fit him perfectly to say the least, big pointy nose and lips so soft, angels would be eager to kiss him when they had the chance.
“Aaron, 20 – lookin for nothing serious, just here to chat.”
Words spoken so simply, but so much to find out from that one sentence – if he was into casual sex, I could make him love me – if he were to just chat, I could show him I was the one he was looking for his whole life. Simply put, it was love at first sight. I was delighted to see that we matched. I was head over heels. Being the brave person that I am, I decided to shoot him a cute text.
“Hey good looking, what’s up?”
He answered within 10 minutes.
“Kinda bored, wbu?”
“Same! I see we both like video games, what’s ur favorite?”
“Revisiting kh atm, on the fence with kh or gta”
“That’s awesome! I’m playing Tekken at the moment, I bet I could beat ur sweet ass xx”
“bet”
After a long back and forth about video games and things such as including long breaks in between answers, I finally popped THE question:
“I’m free Sunday, would you like to come over and play video games?”
“ya”
God, I was so excited. It was that feeling of getting out of bed on Christmas morning knowing there are presents waiting for you at the bottom of the tree, like leaving college and getting your dream job right after, like doing so wrong in your life and finally, you see a shimmering light at the end of the tunnel. I had hope. I had my love. I was madly in love, and I bet he fell in love with my long black hair, pale skin and blue eyes.
We exchanged numbers and ended the conversation for the night. As I was falling asleep, I imagined his hands embracing my body, his breath on my neck, his lips on my shoulders. We’ve never met – however, it was addicting. If I can’t have Aaron, no one can have him. I closed my eyes, wishing I was sleeping until Sunday, so I won’t have to spend another minute without him.
The next morning, as soon as I opened my eyes, I texted him:
“Good morning handsome! Cant wait til Sunday xx”
“gm, me too”
He answered within 5 minutes. I get the feeling of butterflies, and I also get the feeling he was into me too. I imagined him waking up next to me, giving me a kiss on the forehead and lips before making us coffee. My reality was cut short when I realized I had a god awful 8 am class. I really hated my course, would never choose it if my parents hadn’t made me. My parents left the motherland when they were in their 20’s, moved away to a place where they had no one and nothing and made their little fortune here. I was never ungrateful for the opportunities they gave me – I just despised them for putting me in a situation where I must study something I don’t love, hoping I will get happy on my own. Now where I was in a situation where I hated my life, my life became Aaron – he was the only person that made me happy and giggly. I made everything about him.
“Alright, jeez, already late, gotta get to class…ttyl <3”
“ttyl :)”
When my professor talked about the meaning behind the meaning of a command, how it’s structured and how it’s used in law, the only thing I could think about is what was Aaron doing at this point? Where was he? Was he cheating? I hope not. But I also thought about our future and all the things we can do together and will be doing together for the rest of our lives. I could not help but break the rules and used my phone during class and text Aaron:
“so bored, wished someone could shoot me haha”
“lol”
“what u up to?”
“not much”
“u thinking about sunday?
“yea”
“When would you like to come over? I can make us homemade pizza!”
“idk, its up to you”
“You okay with 6 pm?”
“yea, sure”
“See you Sunday at 6 then! xx”
I was so excited. He was thinking about me, about us, about Sunday! I started smiling like an idiot, at this point it was obvious I was texting during class.
“Miss Fadeyeva? Could this wait until after class?”, my professor sounded curious, yet angry at the same time. I put on my most disgusted face and put my phone down, thinking about how this middle-aged creep dared to separate Aaron and me.
After a couple of boring 8 am classes and an eternity later, Sunday finally came. I was having preparations the whole morning – I washed my hair with my most expensive shampoo, removed every single body hair that could make Aaron repulsed, put on as little make up as possible and cleaned my apartment top to bottom – nothing could make Aaron dislike me. I was pretending I was not expecting him, fidgeting my phone, hanging around the kitchen ignoring the fact that he will come quite soon. 6:45 was just around the corner, and he showed up!
As soon as the doorbell rang, I jumped from excitement and casually opened the door as if I had not just fainted from the ecstasy from the fact that the most gorgeous human in existence was coming.
And there he was – just like the pictures – tall, dark, with the most beautiful smile. I thought that his eyes were the most beautiful eyes ever, constructed by the angels themselves and the colors mixed by the world’s greatest artists, but believe me, his eyes were even more beautiful in person. He smelled like weed and aftershave. As a soft smile appeared on his face, he leaned onto my doorway and whispered:
“Kinda hard finding a spot here..”
“You should have called if you had any issues! I’m so glad to see you in person, please come in.”
I shifted my hand, kindly inviting him into my apartment. He stepped in, his steps quiet and careful, but still full of confidence. He sat down on my couch and as a housewife that I am, I offered him a drink:
“I’ll have a water, thanks.”
“You sure you don’t want some juice? I make my own at home, through a bl-“
“No man, it’s fine, just a water.”
I smiled and happily gave him a tall glass with water.
Our first date was so lovely – we played video games; I did indeed beat his ass in Tekken. He was sighing out of frustration; I was a giggly mess when I won. 11 pm rolled around – he touched his hair and said:
“Look, I have to leave, I have an early start tomorrow.”
“Aww, well where do you have to go?”
“Um, well I got work.”
“Well, I feel so sad you must leave. Is there anything I can do to make you stay?”
I bat my eyelashes and looked at him which I assume is the most “fuck me” face ever made in history. As any other man would, he got excited and started to touch me. You can assume what happened next.
I did not receive my coffee in the morning and as I have woken up expecting his soft kisses on my forehead or lips – he was gone. However, I did receive a text at about 6 am, which is an inappropriate time to be texting someone:
“Look, ur really cute and a great girl, but i said i wasn’t looking for anything serious. I have a feeling u keep nagging me about being together, and im not ready for a relationship. ure lovely an i really do think ur gonna find someone for you, but that guys not me. u could make a good friend tho. sorry for leaving so early. felt uncomfortable.”
And there it was – anger and heartbreak.
We got around it eventually, hell, we’ve been together for 3 years and we are so happy! Sometimes, he even leaves his doors unlocked so I can come in as if I were home. I am the one making coffee in the morning, and it is so funny seeing how confused he gets as to how it got there. I still feel giggly when watching him play video games – he keeps asking Michelle to get something for him, but my name is Anna. He loves joking around like that.
Another funny thing he does is scream when we take pictures together and he sees them in the morning – what’s wrong with taking pictures at night? It’s what all couples do.
The whole world is jealous of us – I can feel it! We live on the same lot; he was even so kind as to leave the curtains open because he knows I like to watch him sleep. However, I am so scared of someone stealing him away from him.
I think these pliers and saw I found in his shed might help. But what if heaven rejects him?