Space. The final frontier. Infinity and beyond. Or, as my younger brother simply called it; the up-above.
Ever since he learnt to walk, he was fascinated with the sky. He would look up at it almost every night, admiring the twinkling stars up above.
I will always remember the night that he first said that he wanted to explore space. He was looking up at the small pinpricks of light that were scattered across the black sky and said,
“Dad, I want to go to the up-above”.
My Dad, who was also in the garden with my brother and I, looked down at him and replied,
“The up-above? Where’s that, Marty?”
Marty raised his little arm and pointed straight upwards, towards outer space and boldly said,
“There”.
In the following couple of years, Marty’s obsession with space and the cosmos grew. For his fifth birthday, my parents bought him a telescope, which he routinely used every night. He would stand out in the garden, peering through the telescopic lens, staring at far off stars and distant planets.
He could name almost every constellation in the night sky and would even pretend to be walking amongst them. He even made his own astronaut helmet, which was crafted by cutting a hole in a bucket and then adding a large quantity of tin foil. He would wear the helmet and pretend to be an astronaut going for his maiden space walk.
And, when Marty started spending more time in bed, Mum and Dad brought space into his bedroom, by sticking hundreds of glow in the dark stars all across his bedroom ceiling. They spread across his room, creating a large galaxy that Marty was able to go to sleep amongst.
I fondly remember walking past his bedroom, peeking in and seeing him fast asleep, with a smile on his face, as the glowing stars shone all around him.
I didn’t share Marty’s obsession with space, but rather, I was more interested in the creatures that resided on our own planet. Animals were what captivated me. Especially one animal in particular.
Outside my bedroom window, a large street light illuminated a large portion of our front garden and the road. The long, black pole that was cemented into the pavement stood up high. And, like a moth to a flame, this light attracted a small squirrel that would climb it each night.
I would patiently wait at my window at dusk, and eagerly awaited the arrival of the cute rodent. And, each night, he did not disappoint. The squirrel would appear and would start to climb the metal pole, ascending to its top.
On one particular night, I watched on in awe, as the furry animal gracefully climbed up the street light. The squirrel was almost at the top, when the bright light suddenly exploded with a pop and a fizzing sound. The squirrel darted back down the pole and ran away as the street and the garden were plunged into darkness.
Then, something happened that I didn’t think possible. The pitch black night sky grew even darker. A black shadow drifted through the air, darkening everything it touched. The shadow was large and it wobbled and swirled as it moved along the road. It looked like a dark, thick smoke that was blowing towards the house.
Only, this strange shadow didn’t look like it was getting blown around by a breeze. It seemed to move by its own volition. The shadow moved with an unnatural purpose, like it knew exactly where it was heading. And exactly what it was doing.
I watched on, in confusion and fear, and saw it slowly encroach upon the street, and then it glided into our front yard.
The misty shadow slowly drifted along the garden path and towards the house, looming over the yard and turning the grass the darkest shade of black. As the shadow swirled closer to the front door, the porch light burst with a pop, as if it conceded defeat to the rich darkness of the shadow.
I sat at the window, overcome with fear of what I was looking at. I didn’t know whether to run, or to hide. Before I could decide, I heard a popping sound, and then a slight fizzle. Then, I heard the same two noises again. This time, slightly closer towards me.
The faint glow of light that dimly lit our long hallway was now gone. This shadow had ensured that no light could shine through its tenebrous domain. I could almost see any trace of light getting sucked out the air as the shadow ominously gilded inside the house. And into the hallway.
That’s when my mind made its decision. I wouldn’t run, and I wouldn’t hide. My brain came to the conclusion that I needed to help Marty. His body was growing weaker by the day, and so I knew he wouldn’t be able to defend himself, if it came to that. I would have to be the one to stand up for him.
I stood at my bedroom door for a moment, trying to control my breathing and summon enough courage to go out of the safety of my room. With one final intake of breath, I stepped out to face the unknown horror in the hallway.
The retina is responsible for converting light into brain waves so that the brain can then understand what it is seeing. But, when there is a distinct absence of light, the brain is unable to decipher what it is that it’s seeing.
That’s exactly what happened when I stepped out into that corridor. The sheer darkness of it overwhelmed and confused my mind, and for a second I thought I had gone blind. I had to fight every impulse to crawl into a ball and stay there.
The thought of Marty laying in his room, scared and alone, is what gave me enough courage to fight off my instincts.
I outstretched my arms, trying to find the wall so that it could guide me to Marty’s bedroom. I felt nothing but empty space. I took a step forward, into the black abyss. I felt something solid touch my fingers. I had found the wall.
I kept taking steps forwards, all the while sliding my hands along the wall, so that I could successfully find my brother’s room. With each step closer to the bedroom, the trepidation of what I would find inside of it grew. I needed to know that Marty was still safe.
My fingertips felt a solid door. I reached up to about my eye level and felt the outline of a wooden star that was glued onto the wooden door. This was definitely Marty’s room. I opened it and stepped inside.
Light flooded back into my retina and my brain once again could process what I was seeing. The shadow had not yet entered the room.
Marty was still asleep, somehow looking even skinnier than when I had last seen him a few hours ago. His sleeping body was illuminated by the glowing galaxy that orbited his bedroom. I darted over to his bedside and shook him awake. He slowly opened his tired eyes and looked up at me in confusion.
“Are you alright, Marty?”, I asked him in a whisper.
“Yeah…why?”, he puzzledy asked in a sickly voice that I had been forced to get accustomed to.
Before I could respond, Marty’s room became darker than it had been before. The shadow had lurked its way down the hallway and had now entered the room that both of us were in.
I saw the shadow swirl into the room, engulfing everything it touched. It floated up high, like it was looking down on us. Looming over us. I looked up towards the ceiling and the glow in the dark stars that were scattered across it were no longer visible, like a colossal black hole had swallowed them.
Then, the shadow spread out across the four walls and began to slide down them, encasing everything in darkness. Once again, my eyes could not process any light and my brain could only discern the colour black.
“What happened.. I can’t see…”, I heard Marty say in a frightened tone.
I reached out towards his hand and clasped it. I was scared beyond belief, but I had to stay composed for my brother. I opened my mouth to whisper a response, but as I did, something appeared within the shadow.
When I say something, I mean lots of little things. Tiny pinpricks of light all flashed out of the blackness, like hundreds of tiny stars spread out to create an expansive galaxy. I heard Marty left out a small sound of astonishment, but I was more afraid. The small orbs of light in the dark shadow were intimidating, and I felt as if I was being watched.
As I stared up at them, I noticed something in the centre of the bright white flecks of white. A tiny black dot was in the middle of each of every one. I had no idea what they were, but when I saw them all move in perfect unison, I figured it out. And I was right to think I was being watched.
They were numerous pairs of eyes, twinkling from inside the black shadow that had carried them here. The hundreds of eyes stared down at my brother and me from all directions in the room.
I had to get Marty out of there. He didn’t seem afraid, but I just had a feeling that we weren’t safe. The absence of fear that Marty felt, I made up for. My heart pounded in my chest, like a meteor shower smashing into the earth.
Somehow, in my panicked state, my mind produced an idea of how to get my little brother out of the room without him becoming afraid.
I dropped to my knees and began to feel around the floor with my hands, still conscious of the many eyes that were looking at me. I then felt what I had been looking for. The bucket wrapped in tin foil. Marty’s astronaut helmet. I picked it up with both hands and scrounged around to find Marty.
I felt his head, and so reached out and placed the spaceman helmet onto it. I then felt for his small hand, and firmly grasped it.
“You’ve always wanted to go up-above. Well Marty, you’ve made it”, I quietly said to him, trying to disguise my own panic.
I couldn’t see my brother, but I could feel the smile that beamed off his face, as he thought that he was actually going to see outer space after all.
I helped Marty to his feet, and as I did, I felt how weak he had become. I tried my best to help him walk out of his room, and away from the shadow. We slowly stumbled through the black abyss, with the only light available being the glowing eyes that watched our every move.
With each step, I felt Marty’s excitement grow, as it did look as if we were walking through a cosmic galaxy. It was Marty’s dream. To go up above and walk amongst the stars.
Marty’s elation was infectious, and I actually felt my own fear start to dissipate, and was replaced with a strange sense of pride. I was proud to be accompanying Marty on his space walk.
The shining eyes surrounded us completely, and the eerie silence in the room helped to fully immerse us into the illusion of space.
Marty took more laboured steps towards the bedroom door.
In his mind, we were travelling through galaxies. He was seeing the swirling cosmos and gravity was non-existent in the universe created in his bedroom
He took another step forward, his strength dwindling even further. We must’ve been close to the door. Only a few more steps to go.
The eyes still followed us. But that didn’t bother Marty.
Each star was shining just for him. He was experiencing the constellations that he had spent every night staring up at.
“Look, Marty. Look at all those stars. Aren’t they even more beautiful than you imagined?”, I whispered to him and I felt his grip on my hand tighten.
He squeezed my hand and then I felt his hand slip away from mine.
I then heard a ‘thud’, as Marty released his grip on my hand and I felt him hit the floor. I stopped suddenly and tried to help him up.
“Get up, Marty. You need to get up. Space still needs its astronaut”, I begged him.
He gave no response.
“Marty, please. The stars are waiting for you. You haven’t finished your time up-above”.
I desperately awaited his response, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t coming.
“Congratulations on a wonderful maiden voyage, Spacewalker”, I quietly said to my brother, tears welling up in my eyes, “Marty has landed”.
I grabbed onto his hand once more and tightened my grip around it.
I had completely forgotten about the threat of the shadow and the watchful eyes, but was quickly reminded of it when I saw all the eyes move in unison.
They all turned to look down at the ground and then, without any warning, all the eyes moved downwards towards it. They dropped down to the ground, and then they started to rise up again. I felt Marty’s hand rise with them. They were lifting him up.
I screamed out for them to stop, for them to leave him alone, but they kept ascending my brother upwards. Then, without any warning, the smokey shadow started to disintegrate and vanish.
As the shadow shrunk, light rushed back into my eyes and I could make out Marty’s body, floating in the air. Then, my brother’s body started to disappear with the shadow, like it was somehow a part of it.
It didn’t take long for his entire body to vanish completely, but before it did, I saw his face one last time.
The one thing I will always remember about the night I lost my brother is the large smile that was plastered on his face. It was even larger than the one I would see every night when he was surrounded by the glow in the dark stars. This smile had formed when he thought he was going on his space walk. When he thought he was up-above.
To this day, I am still unsure as to what did come for, and take my brother that night. I don’t know whether the shadow was there to help him, or to harm him.
I still don’t know if the dark shadow and the eyes within were what caused Marty’s life to be cut short, or whether his sickness took him first.
All I know is that, every night I look up into the night sky, and look up-above.
I look towards the pale shining orb in the sky. But, I don’t see a man on the moon looking back at me. I see a little boy.