I’m here to ask for help for my nightmares. Everyday haunts me. It started when I woke up at night, the room was still dark. I rarely get up earlier than I have to. So I thought maybe some sound woke me up. I’m sure I dreamed that my dad was waking me up. But I was alone in the room. My parents slept at the other end of the house.
I had runny nose, so I was breathing through mouth. My lips were sore and dry. I felt thirsty so I went to the kitchen for water. My attention was drawn to the open door of my parents’ bedroom. They creaked a bit in the draft. I poured myself a cup of water and took another look at my parents’ room from the hallway. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I began to see silhouettes better. A few dark branches swayed through the open window, creating eerie silhouettes in the moonlight.
I entered the room quietly. Only my mother was in bed. She breathed quietly. “Dad?” I whispered. I started looking around the room and was startled by a human figure. Someone stood motionless in the corner. I soon recognized that it was Dad. I suddenly ran to my mother and started shaking her, praying that she would wake up soon. She woke up and looked at me with blurry eyes. After several attempts to explain what happened, her gaze began to wander around the room and she finally spotted her husband in the corner. He was currently mumbling something incoherently under his breath.
Tears suddenly formed in my mother’s eyes. I could see that she was trying her best to control herself, but she was having a hard time. Her trembling arms wrapped around me and she got up from the bed without taking her eyes off her motionless husband. “It’s okay, go back to your bed, daddy’s just walking in his sleep” she told me, her trembling voice betraying her fear. “And please don’t mention this to dad, okay?” I just nodded.
The next morning, Dad was as usual. Nothing from his side gave away that something unusual happened yesterday. Either he was very good at hiding it or he didn’t realize that he was talking to the wall like a madman at night. On the other hand, out of dad’s sight, mom kept looking at him as if expecting something. As I promised my mother, I did not mention anything about yesterday’s events to my father. He looked even happier than usual. We had breakfast and dad left for work. I had a holiday and my mother decided to work from home today.
As soon as dad closed the door, mom turned to me. “No matter what happens, don’t mention that he walks at night. Swear you won’t tell anyone, absolutely anyone. Swear to me.” Her burning eyes scared me, but I agreed with everything and swore I wouldn’t talk about it. “It might happen again, if it does, let me know right away, no matter what happens, let me know and stay away from dad. Don’t approach him, don’t talk to him.” I nodded again. Mom smiled, “It’s going to be okay.”
After she said those words, for a couple of weeks it seems that everything is back to normal and we have been living as usual. Mom still occasionally glanced at Dad in disbelief, but for the most part, her anxiety had subsided a bit. There were no more similar cases. Until THAT event.
I woke up again in the night. I immediately knew something was wrong because I woke up to a noise coming from outside. I heard my mother’s voice crying. As I stepped out into the corridor, a scene opened up in front of me that stuck in my memory for a long time.
Dad was standing outside the bedroom window on a big stump. In his hands, one end of the rope was tied to a tree branch, the other end he tied around his neck, muttering. My mother stood beside him, not daring to touch him, but with tears in her face. Dad’s face was beaming with a wide, blissful smile.
I ran across my parents’ bedroom and climbed over the window. I ran to my dad and started shaking him, my mom tried to stop me, but I ignored it. After a few shakes, Dad woke up from his trance with a look of surprise on his face. This was quickly replaced by anger, but he controlled it in an instant.
Without saying anything, Dad took the rope with trembling hands. Mom walked away from him and I stood speechless. He whispered to me “I’m sorry, everything will be fine now”.
He had changed since that night. I almost never saw him smile. Our family started falling apart. A few weeks after the incident, dad disappeared from home. When I woke up one morning, he was gone. Mom didn’t even look surprised. I’m not saying she didn’t feel depressed, but it seems like she expected it.
I still sometimes wake up because I think I hear sounds. It always seems to me that they are coming from outside the window. I don’t know if it’s just an image stuck in my subconscious that I keep dreaming about, but when I look outside I can swear I see a silhouette swinging on a rope.