It’s happening again. I’m shaking again. Can’t feel my fingers. My ankle hurts so much. Need to log this while I still can.
I’m in my bedroom. It’s late. It’s 2:34 AM. The whole house is lit. I went around turning every single light on because I’m terrified. Last time when I wrote about Bella, I had my bedroom door locked. She was waiting for me outside, knocking. This time I didn’t bother. The door is cracked open and there’s nobody there. Bella’s gone.
I can hear my family in the living room talking in low whispers with the police. They questioned me enough already. I needed some alone time to write this down.
If you’ve read Part 1, it’s been 2 months since my dog Bella killed this guy I was hooking up with for recording us in bed without my permission and threatening to post it online. Never thought I’d be typing something like that. Never thought I’d make it 2 months since then.
So… Bella had brought out the cleaning supplies, and she even brought me a mop and motioned with her paw for me to clean up the blood on the kitchen floor. Jeff’s body was outside on the road and I couldn’t hear any yelling, so nobody had seen him yet. It was a miracle. Dark empty suburbs, yeah - but even a car should’ve come by at this point. I was mopping frantically. Bella saw me going at it and left. She went to my room. I didn’t know for what, but later I found out she’d gone to grab Jeff’s phone - which I’d carelessly left lying around in my bedroom trying to delete the videos - and she brought it to me, tapping on it with her paw, tapping on the bottle of Lysol. I got the message: wipe your prints.
When I did, she took it with her mouth back outside the house to Jeff’s body, and she’d planted it on his corpse. Tucked it into his hoodie pocket and everything. I can’t believe this dog. I can’t. Even knowing everything I know about her. Knowing how smart she’s always been. This was something else.
But I cleaned up. I cleaned up well. My family came home after Jeff’s body was found right outside our house. The cops tracked his movement through his phone and found that he was in the area when he died, but GPS isn’t so sensitive that it could show him literally inside my house before his death. Clearly, since I told them about our relationship, they questioned me. A lot. What was he doing outside your house? When did you last speak? Why are there bite marks on his throat? What did your dog do to Jeff?
Everyone vouched for Bella when that question eventually came around. She’d never hurt a fly. She had never even barked at anyone without good reason her whole life, let alone bite. And me… I saw what she’d done to Jeff. Tore his finger off. Ripped his throat apart. Left him to die choking on his own blood. I didn’t know I could lie to police so easily, but I did. Bella was with me inside the whole night. We watched Ant Man and the Wasp together. I had no idea Jeff was even outside my house until the neighbors caused a commotion. Bella was sleeping on my lap. She was innocent.
I hate myself, now, for lying then. I shouldn’t have. I should’ve been braver.
It’s been a rough 2 months. Jeff’s parents cornered me in a grocery store and called me a whore who took away their only child. My own parents are distant because their “little girl” has an active sex life and that’s apparently too heretical for a 19-year-old. Yeah, focus on that, and not the fact that someone I know died and it might be affecting me. I’d never tell them Bella did it, but it would be nice to have a consoling hand.
My brother was the only one who cared. I’ll call him Red (his favorite color). He’s the one who named Bella and they both always had an understanding of some kind. He was the same with me too. For a good few weeks, the three of us seemed like the only real family. But even Red didn’t know what really happened with Jeff. His final decisions aside, he was a fun guy and - at least I thought - a good friend. I miss whoever that was, he was pretending to be. Bella understood that too. She kept her distance from me as though she knew I was uncomfortable around her. Who wouldn’t be? I still fed her, filled her water bowl, made sure she got what she needed - but something was off now. How could a dog, do something like this?
I should’ve told the police the truth. Should’ve told them to put Bella down. No - what the fuck am I thinking? Never. Never.
Yesterday, I got a call from the detective handling Jeff’s case (Susan, we’ll go with Susan). She said she wanted me to come down to the station to discuss something urgent. I told her I can’t because I broke my ankle last week trying to play soccer (which is true) and nobody was home to drive me down there (except Bella, maybe she can fucking drive too, I wouldn’t put it past her). Susan said it’s fine - she could come to our house to speak if I was cool with it. I said yes.
I shouldn’t have said yes. Why is this happening? Why couldn’t Bella just be a normal dog? I don’t need a genius dog. I don’t need a superintelligent animal. I would’ve been happy with a normal, happy dog that barks and snarls and poops and pees and chews furniture and swallows stuff and wags her tail when she’s happy. But Bella’s none of that.
Susan came over at around 6 PM. I was thinking of checking my university application status when she knocked. She sat down, we exchanged basic smalltalk. How’ve you been, how’s your leg, blah blah blah.
Bella was in the room. Sitting right over on the kitchen floor, across the couch where Susan sat, facing her. Sitting perfectly still and watching. I was sitting across from Susan with Bella in my peripheral to the right. I felt nervous. Even though Bella had never done anything to hurt me - quite the opposite. I was still nervous.
Susan said she’ll get to her point. There was something about my brother, Red, she wanted to ask me about. She came across this while looking into me, because of my connection with Jeff. And - not just Red - this was about Bella too.
I was so confused. What did my brother have to do with Jeff’s death? And they had no proof on Bella just because of the bite marks. I vouched for her. My whole family did.
What Susan said next I still can’t quite wrap my head around.
Bella wasn’t adopted from a shelter like I was told. Red bought her - from someone. Someone who’s apparently been on the radar of the local police. I didn’t believe it - what kind of bullshit was that? Why lie about it if she was purchased? Why tell me Bella was from a shelter? And how is this even true?
I didn’t notice it then, but Bella had gotten to all fours. She wasn’t sitting anymore. I don’t think Susan noticed either, we were talking. I was very upset. Confused. Bella’s change in movement was so silent. Couldn’t even hear her nails tap the linoleum floor of the kitchen when she moved.
Susan said Bella was purchased by Red, years ago when she was tiny. I don’t know how they found this out, or how they were legally investigating my brother at all - who wasn’t even home when Jeff died. I had too many questions. But Susan didn’t answer any of them. Said it’s “above her station” and something about “higher ups” getting involved. I was so confused. I still am. I have no answers.
But Susan began to say how Bella isn’t a regular dog. She brought it up casually. But she was eyeing Bella, who was staring right back. Susan had noticed over the course of 2 months. And she said it outright.
Bella isn’t normal. She’s not natural.
And I remember clearly, Susan saying with something odd in her voice… “There’s a reason for that.”
I never got to find out. We both heard it at once. Bella was growling.
A vicious snarl. White fangs bared. Face scrunched up with malice. Head low and back hunched. Saliva dripping from her open scowl. Bella, the quietest, most well-behaved dog I’d ever known - was growling at Susan, fully intent on pouncing.
I remember trying to calm Bella down, but my fucking broken ankle. I was sitting, my crutches were beside the couch, I couldn’t just run over to her. Susan had gotten to her feet too. I didn’t see it at the time, but she was probably already reaching for her gun.
It all happened so fast.
The lights died in a flash. Not just ours - every house in the neighborhood. Plunged into pure darkness. A power outage. Bella’s growls grew louder and louder and when the black shadows cut off my vision, and I could see nothing at all, and the lights in the kitchen and the living room inexplicably vanished - I heard her growling stop.
And I heard her feet pounce across the floor.
I screamed. Susan screamed. I screamed Bella’s name. Struggling to get to my goddamn feet. I heard barking, vicious barking, snarling, and screaming, and - choking. And I fell back down covering my ears when I heard the gunshot.
Loudest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. The muzzle flash against the sudden darkness blinded me again.
I couldn’t hear or see anything for a while. I just remember saying “Bella” over and over, instinctively. Not sure why. Might have been a fear response. She was always my protector. Always by my side. Never let anyone hurt me.
But I never wanted her to hurt others either.
The power came back almost immediately. I saw the reddish haze of the ceiling lamp come back on through my eyelids. I opened my eyes and I still can’t really understand how this is happening to me.
Susan’s body was on the couch. Her throat ripped open. Her eyes open and glassy. There’s - so much blood. I threw up when I saw her. Not because it’s gross - because I’m so terrified. Her uniform, her hair - blood on everything. Everything. The coffee table. The couch across her. My ankle cast that my friends all signed and drew dicks on.
Blood, everywhere.
A gun in Susan’s hand. And… no sign of Bella.
She ran. The front door was open. She ran away. She’s gone.
I couldn’t do anything. I was frozen. I was crying. The neighbors heard the gunshot and called 911. Police showed up and saw Susan. And… it all snowballed from there.
Jeff’s case got reopened. Bella got blamed for it and I got blamed for hiding it. Red got home soon after the cops arrived and he got taken in for questioning - some people wearing black came and took him away. They weren’t the police, but the police didn’t stop them. Red didn’t look at me before he left. I still need to know what Susan was trying to tell me. What was apparently worth her life to keep a secret.
My parents turned on me when they came home a couple of hours later - how could I have lied to protect Bella?
I couldn’t believe them. How could I not lie to protect Bella? She’s family too. She’s my best friend. My protector. And I’m hers. She’s made a mistake. She killed Susan even though Susan was no threat to me. She made a terrible mistake, but she’s still family. I’m sure she had reasons.
I’m going to get dragged into Jeff’s murder - hard. I should. I cleaned up the crime scene. But there’s no cleaning this up. Bella knew that. Maybe that’s why she left. There was no way to brush this under the rug. But I don’t understand why she did it.
I don’t know what to do now. Bella’s missing. She’s out there somewhere. Bella - I know you’ll never hear this - but I don’t care where you came from, or what you are. I still love you. Whatever you do, don’t come home. They’ll kill you.