Most people know the context of lucid dreaming, basically, you would be aware of your dream instead of deeply mesmerized by the scenario in your subconscious mind, at least that’s the hang of it, now, I’m no expert but I wanted to come here and share a little bit of my experience with lucid dreaming.
I still remember the first time it happened, I barely recall the details but this is basically how it went.
I was about 8 years old I think I remember that I had a dumb fear of the green goblin (yes the one from Spiderman), what happened was one of my cousins maybe a year prior had a birthday party with Spiderman impersonators (you know with the costumes and all) I guess that’s when I started being scared of the goblin, anyway that night I remember in the dream we were in my grandparent’s house, a really big house with a lot of different rooms, my parents and aunts, uncles, and my cousins were there, and for some reason, the goblin was there too, my cousins, my siblings, everyone started running, not the parents tho they just stayed still waiting, I remember being chased, I remember going to my grandpa’s study, I found a door there, a door that on the real house never was, that was my first clue.
When I entered the door it was a room filled with books, a beautiful crystal skylight, the sun’s rays passed right thru it, really an amazing sight, but that’s when I noticed, it was night when the goblin started chasing, at that moment I realized it was a dream, suddenly I was not in the secret room anymore but in my bedroom, I could imagine all kinds of things and they’d just come true.
Now you would say the ending of that dream was pretty neat, but hold on cause that did not last long, the second dream I remember (even tho I know I have had a lot of them since then) was when I was 14, I think this is the one that left me the curiosity about lucid dreaming, this one was my reason to start investigating the concept.
i was on my bed, but I couldn’t move, for some reason, I still don’t know why, maybe the darkness of the environment, maybe that I felt as if I was being lifted, maybe that I couldn’t move, but I felt a dread, I felt such darkness I never knew before, I started praying, maybe the power of suggestion, maybe the hand of god, or my own mind, but the feeling stopped, I was still scared, I tried to wake up, but I just couldn’t, every time I woke up I would make up in my room in the same place, in the same dream, at one point I got desperate, I woke up but every time it was darker, like the light was being sucked out, not enough to be in full darkness I could still see the environment around me, but enough that my heart was racing, tears of desesperation falling down my cheeks, I felt like I was about to pass out, enough that at that moment I started smashing my head into the floor repeatedly, trying desperately to wake up, and so I did, I guess dying in a dream wakes you up, I woke up, my heart racing, my whole body cold and shivering, I pinched my self to make sure it was not a dream (and yes that stupid thing works), hurts tho not necessary at all.
There was a point during my adolescent years when I learned to control it, you wouldn’t imagine how much fun I had with it, after all, the mind of a 15-year-old can be maybe a little scarier than this story, anyways, I started to enjoy it, investigating more into lucid dreaming, and how to provoke it, in how to make sure they don’t true into lucid nightmares, night terrors, how to keep control.
As I grew up they happened less and less, I have to say, I was a little disappointed, that was until a week ago, I just turned 23, the day after that it happened again, but this time I had no control whatsoever, I was in my bed, same feeling, same darkness, no hallucinations, no monsters, just a feeling of dread that made me unable to utter a word, id wake up in the same bed, same position, same feeling, I had learned some tricks online, putting some music on can stop the nightmare so in every dream, which I wasn’t sure if it was a dream or not, I desperately tried to move my hand closer to the phone, it felt like I got out of the dream for a second but it would throw me back in, everything would get blurry again, everything except that feeling, and the darkness, after a lot of effort I woke up again, cold sweat, heart racing, I put the music on and went back to sleep (no nightmare can beat my coldplay playlist), anyways, it happened again the next day, now this sucks because I’m not able to get any rest when this happens, eitherway we were on the topic and I had an idea about writing a reddit story, bassicly the same as my dream but with some kind of dark shape, maybe a demon of a shadow moving closer every time I woke up, and the next day funnily freaking enough, yeah it happened, I am such an idiot, so now I was in this dream with this fucking munster or whatever as if things weren’t already shitty enough before it, i woke up, but i don’t know why, the feeling is not gone, i still feel that heavy environment, the heart racing, the dread, i think tonight i saw the shadow out of the corner of my eye, they say if you look for something you’ll find it, i just want all of this to stop.
I’ll keep you guys updated, if you have any suggestions please let me know what to do.