Im sorry if this isnt the right place to post this, I just dont know where else to go. My name is Ramona and I think my family is hurting me. Im sorry for any spelling mistakes, I am 16 but ive never been good at spelling, however my grandmother said i could be a writer…
Ever since around christmas time of last year my family has been slowly acting more and more distant. I dont really know for sure why it was that time but i have my suspisions. my grandma who was very close to me passed away right before christmas. it was a tragedy in the family, but ecspeically for me. me and my immediate family hadnt been close since i was around 9 which was really hard for me at the time because i was just a kid and didnt understand why my parents and siblings seemed to avoid me so suddenly and thats when i started confiding in my grandmother, who was also avoiding by my family but ecspeically my mother, her daughter, for years.
when we heard the news i remember we were in the living room when my father got a call. it all feels like a blur after that but what i do remember is my mother loud sobbing echoing through the small house as it felt like it shook. i remember feeling surprised by my mothers reaction, she had never seemed to care for her own mother so seeing her so upset confused me but i tried to push that aside and attempt to comfort her with a hug but when i went to touch her she screamed a scream ive never dreamt of ever hearing and the house really did shake that time. it was so loud and she sounded terrified but there was something else in her voice, that sounded so shrill and angry i barely recognized what was left of her. i swear i saw her glaring at me but it felt like when i blinked she was already turned towards my father again and back to sobbing. i wanted to speak, ask her why, but i couldnt sum up the strength so i just stood there. and that was the day my grandmother died.
no one mentioned what happened that day after that. they never spoke of grandmas death or moms outburst, atleast not to me. the following days it felt like silence swallowed the house, leaving nothing but the empty shells of my parents. i was not spoken to but i know i was spoken about because at night i could hear muffled voices from my parents room and in between the gaps the word ramona appeared again and again. everyday felt like walking on eggshells, but i figured it would get better after a while. i was so wrong. soon my parents spoke again but only to each other. even as they began to start speaking again i couldnt seem to will myself to talk, not even mutter a single word. i had never been like this, i had always been talkative, but now it felt as if something was sinking deeper and deeper inside me and i couldnt pull it out or stop it, something that was blocking my airway. my parents didnt acknowledge me, as if i wasnt there, they never looked me in the eyes but just looked in my general directions, as if they could see right through me but also as if i wasnt there at all. they never spoke to me, and sometimes i wonder if they just spoke to me once would i be able to speak again, would the thing inside me loosen its grip? i dont think i will ever know because recently ive become sick. but not in a normal way, in a way that doctors cant explain or maybe they could but i have no way of asking for one because its already too far gone.
it started yesterday when i was in the shower and i felt something on my neck. it felt rough and it hurt when i touched it, it was the shape of if a vine had just started growing out of my neck. i got out and thats exactly what it looked like as well. i poked at it for what felt like hours in my now normal silence, the occasional strained sob leaving my throat. eventually i left the bathroom with a pit in my stomach and went to sleep, hoping i would wake up from this nightmare. but this morning i didnt.
it has gotten worse, quickly grown to cover what looked to be a quarter of my neck and it pushed into my skin now, hurting immensely. when i awoke it was mere seconds before i was holding my neck in agony. i couldnt take it, i had to try to find my parents. sure they hate me but i need to try. I rushed to their room and slammed open the door and there stood my mother and father looking at me, really looking at me, for the first time in what felt like years. i had interupted my mother getting dressed while my father was sat in bed, they looked surprised they didnt speak, maybe they were in shock. I quickly stepped forward and towards my mother and the words i had wanted to say to her stuck to the back of my throat, but no matter my will they didnt come out. my mother looked at me, a small frown on her face, not in sadness but what looked like disgust at what lied on my neck, though not surprise. the one thing she should feel is surprised, but her indifferent expression said too much. she then spoke to me, something else that felt like it had been years to have happened last.
“cat got your tongue?”
in that moment i felt like i was prey. no sympathy, and no remorse. i realized then that my mother looked different, her eyes they were permantly squinted and looked shriveled and old despite my mother not even being 50 yet. something in me told me that this was her. she knew what was happening to me. i felt my feet move and suddenly i was out the door and sprinting downstairs, leaving the house in what felt like a second. i couldnt speak so i would run. that was a couple hours ago, and now im typing this up while im at the police station. the vines are slowly growing but it seems like no one else can see it and i cant speak, only scratch at the vines that make me look crazy to everyone else. i can hear an officer calling someone, my parents, but even so i write. because if anyone can tell me how to fix these vines from growing it is the internet. ive searched and searched but i see no one else who had my problem or anyone who even could possibly help. this is getting out of control so fast and i dont know what i can do to stop it or even slow it.