In my last post, I shared with you my mission, and how it all began. Originally, I had two reasons for why I made the post:
One, to get suggestions on how I can more effectively monitor Gabi,
Two, so I could write my thoughts down for reference later. I thought just in case my journal was lost or damaged, it’d be smart to keep a more permanent record of it online somewhere. I plan to one day share this with Gabi and eventually our kids. I think when they’re old enough, they would love to know the story of their parents and the journey we took to get to where we ended up.
What I didn’t expect however, was the response my first thread would get. Although I didn’t expect that many people to see it in the first place, I assumed I had done a good enough job of explaining that I am not just some creepy obsessed fan, but someone that knew Gabi personally and had every reason to want to protect her, even if the methods seemed extreme.
Listen, I understand that most people on reddit are probably in highschool or younger, but I would appreciate if you could try to see the nuances in these types of things before throwing around judgement.
One more thing I wanted to address before we continue:
I received a DM this morning from another fan of Gabi’s who knew which channel I was referring to. This was a surprise, since Gabi isn’t her real name but one I used to prevent doxing as a result of this thread.
He told me that he went back to watch the VOD from Gabi’s Roblox stream back in 2017, where she read my donation and we locked eyes for the first time. He claimed that I was mistaken, and she actually did not read the donation, but a similar highlighted chat message that appeared just after my donation went through.
This was the basis for his argument that Gabi and I “didn’t have a connection”. He went on to plead with me not to continue protecting Gabi, linking me to the VOD with a timestamp of the moment I “misinterpreted”.
I’m not interested in watching that video. I’ve learned to drown out this kind of gaslighting long ago, and he’s probably just trying to send me a virus anyway. I know the reason he sent that DM. His goal was for me to stop protecting Gabi, right? Why would that be the case?
The only reason he would not want me around is so he could more easily corner Gabi himself, and I’m not falling for it. So to the person who sent me that DM, I suggest you stay away from Gabi and don’t talk to me again, unless you want me revealing your username to everyone in this thread.
Now that that’s out of the way, the following will be my latest journal entry, after which you will have caught up to me in real time:
June 1st, 2022:
It’s been three weeks since I moved into my new apartment, but I’ve spent the majority of my time in my second home. The fifteen minute rule was beginning to take a toll on my mental health, so I figured I could get around this by simply sleeping at Gabi’s house. That way, if anything were to happen, I would wake up and already be there.
There’s plenty of rooms in her house she would see no reason to suddenly go into at 2am, but I lock the door and keep the spandex suit on just in case. Y’know, this kinda reminds me of the scene from parasite, specifically the ending. I’m like the dad who would one day be able to just come out of hiding. When the time came, we’d be able to have breakfast together just like before, only this time she would actually know she wasn’t alone.
Eventually, I had her routine pretty much memorized. I considered doing remote work again before my funds ran out, since she spent the majority of her time indoors. However, the only application I sent that got a response was Papa John’s.
They offered flexible hours, sure, but even if I worked the morning shift during the time she stayed at home, it didn’t necessarily mean she wasn’t in danger. Someone could easily come into her house. I just couldn’t leave.
I’ve been in this apartment for almost a month straight without leaving. I just know the second I step out of the Gabi zone, she’ll be attacked. That’s just how my luck is.
So I devised a plan. While doing my routine checks around her house, I noticed a window obscured by the leaves of a tree. I didn’t know which window it was from the inside, so I guessed it must be the attic. I went inside to confirm, and sure enough, it had to be.
If Gabi were to install a security system that I could connect my phone to, I could use that hidden window as an entrance to a part of her house she never set foot in. I would have both a way to evade her security system, while also using it to monitor her house from anywhere.
When she was asleep, I would go into her streaming room and look up the security system I chose on her computer. I subscribed to an email newsletter from their company, and left a tab open with a video explaining the benefits of this security system. I turned on YouTube’s auto-play feature and kept the video paused to make it look like it came up on its own.
Now she would know of the security systems existence, but would she have any incentive to install it? I considered sending an email from an alternate account to her personal email. I was gonna pretend to be a stalker with ill intentions to scare her into wanting it installed, but I realized that would defeat the purpose of my mission.
The reason I was so secretive of my methods in the first place was so she didn’t have to know the reality of her situation. Ignorance is bliss, right?
So what could I use besides fear to make her want to install the security system…?
What I ended up doing was using my second twitch account to send a donation during one of her streams.
“I know this is kinda random, but I was thinking of installing a security system for my house. Do you have any recommendations?”
Is what the message said. The reason I didn’t use my main account, was so she wouldn’t suspect me of anything. This second account of mine was useful for moments like these. It was more of a second persona, who overtime became almost as established in her community as my first account was. The reason I had this second persona was in case any kind of misunderstanding resulted in her mods banning me.
When the donation appeared, she thought for a second.
“There’s one I was thinking about getting,”
It was the one I had brought to her attention without her knowing.
“I haven’t ordered it yet, but I’ll let you know if I like it or not.”
Not even a week later, I saw a van with the companies logo approach her house. I quickly sprinted to the unoccupied house next to hers, changed into my spandex suit, and climbed the tree.
I went through her attic window, and looked through the peep holes I made in her ceiling. I could see her go downstairs.
There’s a closet-like room in every house that nobody ever goes in. Some of you probably forgot that it exists, despite walking past it on a daily basis. It contains the water heater, and a bunch of pipes and mechanical shit. That’s the room I leave her attic from. I made a hole in the ceiling of that room, connecting it to her attic. When I’m in there, I can’t see Gabi at the front door, but I hear her talking to the people who came to set up the security system. Perfect.
I quietly emerge from the closet. This is the only shot I have, and I can’t fuck this up. I make my way to the other closet I mentioned in my last post, where I have a full view of the downstairs area. This maneuver was pretty risky, but necessary.
I recorded their whole conversation on my phone. They discussed how the system worked, what the security pin to get inside would be, where the cameras were, how to disable them to save electricity, how to connect your phone to these cameras and how many devices could be connected at once, etc etc etc. I had all the information I needed.
Now that nothing could get inside her house without me knowing, there was only one order of business left to handle before I could start leaving her alone for long periods of time.
A couple days later, she had some family visit. When they went out to eat somewhere, I looked up the restaurant they were going to, how far away it was, and came up with an estimate of how long they would be gone. The second they left, I wasted no time.
You see, although I made it unlikely for threats to get in her house, I needed to think about potential threats that could already be there. Secret entrances and peepholes I didn’t know about, hidden explosives, threatening mail, etc.
I did a full sweep of the house, making sure not to miss a thing. Her room was the last place I checked. I went through drawers, suitcases, everything. Eventually, hidden underneath her bed I found a diary. It seemed to be used quite often, and the latest entry was from the previous weekend.
This could be a good source of information, but I think I’ll only use it for emergencies or as a last resort. I would hate to have to violate her privacy like this. Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that.
I put the diary back for now, and wrapped up my search. Nothing out of the ordinary. I emailed the Papa John’s to see if their offer was still on the table, and had an interview scheduled for that Thursday.
If I got the job, the delivery position would help me become more familiar with the surrounding area. This could probably help in ways I don’t expect.
I sleep soundly that night, right above her. In a way, I’m technically the last person she looks at before she falls asleep, even if she doesn’t know what’s beyond the ceiling above her bed. I wish I could look directly at her as well, but putting a hole right above her bed is too risky.
As I drift off to sleep, I think back to a much simpler time, when I was first figuring out what my purpose was. Gabi’s community was much smaller then, and she had much more time to talk to me directly. We were even in a groupchat together that eventually got deleted. That’s where most of my connections within her community came from.
I would see the occasional creepy message go by in the chat, most of which got removed quickly by moderators. I didn’t know yet how much of a problem this would become.
I’m proud to say that when she first made her Twitter account, I was among her first 1000 followers. This is where creepy messages couldn’t automatically get removed by her mods, so I would but heads with those types pretty often.
The people rallied with me, and dedicated fans of Gabi’s would be on my side. We would berate and mass report these thugs together. One day, a particularly weird asshole said something that stuck with me. His username was Gator_guy317
“I looked through your profile, and can’t believe what I’m seeing. This is the kind of mythologised simping that you only ever hear about, but never think you will see someone do unironically. You even interpret harmless banter as something hostile, especially during what I’m sure you consider ‘times of peace’ where nobody is badmouthing your precious e-girl queen. It’s almost as if ‘protecting’ her is part of your identity. So much so that if there are no problems, you need to make one. In these moments, you desperately search for any Twitter comments that you can misinterpret as some sorta personal attack against her, and when you do, you just can’t help yourself. You immediately launch into your tryhard, wannabe tough-guy persona where you claim it ‘won’t end well’ (lol) for them, among other threats you couldn’t possibly follow through on. Trust me when I say, you are the LAST person who would ever come close to protecting someone. I can just see the scrawny, malnourished arms and hear the meek, nasally voice every time I read your insufferable comments. You aren’t a real part of her life. You’re some dude behind a screen, and your tough words and dramatic monologues wouldn’t stop even a bird from flying by and shitting on her shoulder. There is NOTHING you could do. And yet you act as though you’re Gabi’s last line of defense, her guardian angel. Don’t make me laugh. Your life is so pathetic and empty, and what you attempted to fill it with is… this. Basically nothing. You’re here doing nothing but talking at people who will continue doing what they’re doing regardless of how many angry messages you send them.”
I’m not sure why Gator felt the need to DM that to me directly, but at the time I couldn’t see it as the baseless gaslighting it was. It threw me into a fit of rage, and I absolutely trashed my room. If I could just get my hands on him somehow….
But that was the push I needed. There was one thing he got right, and it’s that my sloppy way of protecting Gabi had too many holes to ignore. I looked at his profile, clicked on every link to other social medias, looked at every post that was visible, until I finally found a comment under an Instagram post of his. It was from a friend of Gaotrs’, and it indicated that they went to the same school. With some digging, I found out which school it was, which led to me being able to find his last name.
I doxed the shit out of him. In front of everybody. He ended up deleting his whole Twitter account, and rumor has it, his weird messages ended up being sent to his parents.
I didn’t expect the amount of praise I would get for this. But there were also people in Gabi’s community who were against it. Unfortunately, I received a DM from Gabi herself, thanking me for the gesture, but telling me she didn’t approve of doxing, telling me not to do it again.
It’s tragic how little she thinks of herself. This clear act of justice on her behalf, she saw as “too much” because she didn’t think she was worthy of it. Her kindness allowed her to give sympathy to people who didn’t deserve it, and that’s exactly what I told her.
I couldn’t get through to her though. This fundamental lack of self esteem was like a brick wall that I could only chip away at, little by little. I decided it was best to change tactics. I told her I understood, and claimed I would never dox anyone again. She also wanted me to stop engaging with hate comments as well as ones saying weird things, and I pretended to accept.
I decided to start defending her on an alternate account. I waited a month before doing this so it couldn’t be traced back to me, and in the meantime, began to practice and refine my skills of finding people’s information.
This is when I managed to first find Gabi’s personal email address. On my main account, I had more wholesome interactions with her and tried to subtly push her closer towards self love.
On my other account, I defended her against haters and whatnot. I would eventually develop a reputation for being good at doxing people who stepped out of line. My account kept getting banned, so I made a discord server for the people who supported my endeavors the most. This server had (and still has) truly dedicated fans, some of which admit to being madly in love with Gabi (and who could blame ‘em?).
Together we’ve doxed many douchebags, and I’ve learned a lot from them. There’s one named Noah that I’m particularly close with, who I’ve considered telling about the full scope of my mission, so I can mentor him just in case I die prematurely and need someone to protect my wife and kids in the future. Like I’ve said before, I always have everything planned out. Even from beyond the grave, my protection will remain strong.
Months later, I was in the groupchat I mentioned with Gabi, a few streamer friends, and a couple randoms. By that point the group chat was starting to become dead, and I realized that if I was gonna ask leading questions to get more information on her, now was the time.
I had a collection of possibly useful tidbits of information already. She stayed in the same town all her life, meaning she still lived in the same town she went to highschool,
there was a gas station she went to often that had strangely large parking spaces,
someone had once gotten absolutely wasted while working the nightshift there, gave all the alcohol to his friends, and got fired instantly.
She had also once implied that during her highschool days, she was able to walk to school.
It was a long shot, but I had am idea. I asked Gabi if she had ever been in the local paper. She said she had, for a school related accomplishment that I won’t mention here.
I had already compiled a list of articles documenting incidents like the gas station one she mentioned before, so I did the same for this particular school event she described, and found several different articles. I compared them all, and found a pair that took place in the same town.
The article for the gas station robbery by its own staff, and the school paper article with matching towns, came from a town with two different schools. Only one of them was within walking distance of both a gas station and a small neighborhood. I looked at the gas station on the Google Street maps thing, and could see that the parking spaces were unusually wide. This was the same gas station from the article, and the same one Gabi described on a seperate occasion, thus confirming that the nearby highschool was the same one she went to.
I subscribed to an email thing that their school had, and figured out how to make emails that looked like they were sent from the school, and a website that looked exactly like theirs.
With this, I contacted Gabi as her school, offering to let her know when her highschool reunion would be. I sent a link to the fake school website with a set of instructions to sign up for the “reunion registry”.
The information I requested was her name, email, her phone number (although I made this one optional), and the year she graduated.
Surprisingly, she actually inputted her phone number when she gave the website her information. Immediately, I deleted the entire website and the email account. Long story short, her last name ended up being the only thing I needed to find her current address.
But I was younger then. I did not yet understand my purpose or have the resolve to level up my protection. I spent my days doxing haters in secret, and committing her personal information to memory without any specific goal in mind.
I needed yet another push before my mission would be fully realized, and I would start protecting Gabi in person. But that’s a story for another time. I think for now, I’m gonna get some rest and prepare for the long-awaited interview tomorrow. I check Gabi’s front door camera on my phone one more time before I go to sleep. Like I said before, I always have everything planned out, so there’s no need for me to worry.