[June 8th, 2022]
I woke up this morning with the worst hangover I’ve ever had. I can see the diary open on the floor. I left off somewhere towards the end, but I can’t remember anything I’ve read up to that point.
I have missed calls from my manager but I don’t care anymore. I feel like absolute ass.
I tried reading the diary from the beginning again, but my head is killing me. I’m so tired. I’ll try again tomorrow.
[June 9th, 2022]
Physically, I felt much better today, and I read the entire diary front to back. I can’t understand what I’ve been reading though. It just doesn’t make any sense. There’s nothing about me. It’s mostly stuff about Jimmy that just makes no sense.
Is it written in code? I don’t understand. My brain just can’t find a way to make sense of it.
Maybe it’s cause I haven’t eaten anything today. Well, I won’t be able to until I receive my last paycheck anyway, so that’ll have to wait.
I didn’t do much today aside from attempting to read the diary again. It’s already late. I’m just gonna go to bed.
[June 10th, 2022]
When I woke up that morning, I had an eviction notice taped to my forehead. Fucking bitch. She could’ve just left it at the door or something.
I got up and took a shower. It was the first time in a while.
By the time I dried off and got dressed, I heard a knock on the door. Who’s the worst possible person it could be? It’s a four way tie, so I didn’t care.
I opened the door, and Noah let himself in.
“Melvin, why haven’t you been staying vigilant?”
“Uh… I mean, I’ve been watching..”
“Barely. What happened? Did you receive a threat from Blake?”
“No. No, I just read the diary. Over and over again.”
“Did you get any useful information?”
“….No.”
“I couldn’t get anything out of Jimmy either.”
“Jimmy? He’s still alive?”
“Yeah, I’ve been feeding him so I could interrogate him about his friend. He didn’t have any useful information though. I’m guessing Gabi’s diary was just random documentation of her day-to-day activities? Nothing about you, Blake, or Jimmy?”
I clenched my fist.
“Just Jimmy. Pages and pages about God damn Jimmy!”
I kicked over my chair.
“Why him?! Does she just not care about everything I’ve done for her?! Is this some sort of fucked up joke!?”
Noah thought for a second.
“It could be. Did you consider the possibility that Blake wrote down a bunch of false entries just to mess with you?”
“It was all in Gabi’s handwriting! All of it! God fucking dammit! GOD DAMMIT. WHY DID SHE WRITE THIS SHIT?! WHY HAS SHE BEEN LEADING ME ON LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TIME, SENDING ME ALL THESE SIGNS AND SUBTLE LOOKS AND ALL THESE CODED MESSAGES, JUST TO CAST ME ASIDE AS IF ALL OF THIS MEANT NOTHING?! WHY!?”
Noah was already looking through the recent pages of the diary. I didn’t notice during my rant.
“Oh my… Well, it definitely seems like Jimmy is the person she thinks about the most often.”
I punched another hole in the wall. What difference does it make? I’m already being evicted.
“Do you have any idea how hard I’ve been working for her? I’m in this shitty apartment with nothing. I go to work for nothing. I send her countless messages online and she responds with nothing. Nothing!”
“Well, let’s think about it this way,”
Said Noah,
“You still believe Gabi has been trying to communicate with you all along, right?”
“Well…. yeah. In small ways.”
“Ways that only you could detect, right?”
At this point I could tell Noah was onto something, but I was still losing hope.
“Listen, Jimmy has been her so-called ‘friend’ for almost a decade now, and I told you what kinda person he was. Remember how her diary was on her desk while he was over? Jimmy isn’t the type to respect boundaries.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying Gabi had to keep him appeased and not seem suspicious while she sent you all these subtle messages. They were not only love letters, but a cry for help. She wanted you to save her from Jimmy. He was threatening her to the point where if she didn’t pretend to hold him in the highest regard, she would be in danger. Only you were able to pick up on this, even if it was just on an unconscious level.”
“But those words she put in her journal… The way she described her feelings for him sounded too genuine. Why would she put in this much effort to fool a dumbass like him?”
“Sure, the words were genuine, but who were they actually meant for?”
There was a pause. It was then that I understood. What an idiot I was being! I should’ve understood what she was trying to tell me!
“So… What do I do now?! I should tell her right?! I should tell her that I know what’s actually going on, and that Jimmy has been captured!”
Noah smiled.
“Atta boy! And don’t worry, I’ll keep watch from here in case Blake pulls anything funny.”
I was so excited that I forgot Blake was in her house somewhere.
I decided to check every room in her house to make sure Blake wouldn’t be too close to me. I didn’t want him to ruin me and Gabi’s special moment.
I went outside, changed into the latex suit where no security cameras would be looking, and went into the unoccupied house. I went to the window at the top floor, climbed out into the tree, and from there, climbed into Gabi’s attic window, the way I always did.
Checking the rooms was a lengthy process. I had to watch through the peepholes for hours at a time until I saw Gabi leave the room so I could check it. I spent the whole day sneaking around the house, checking each room, and then did a thorough sweep of her own room last, because that’s where I would be spending the night.
I decided to sleep under her bed this time. It’s kinda poetic when you think about it. First, I slept over her bed, now I’m under it, and soon, I’ll finally be IN it once I reveal myself to Gabi and move in with her.
Based on Gator/Blake’s internet activity, I’m pretty sure he’s asleep between the hours of 2am and 10am. Gabi wakes up at 8am, so I think that’s when I’ll come out of hiding. I couldn’t wait!
Around 9:30pm that night, I heard the door open and saw Gabi’s feet get closer as she came towards me. The way the bed shifted as she crawled into it made my heart race. I wanted to just crawl out, get up and embrace her right then and there, but I needed to control myself. If I didn’t follow the plan, Blake could blindside me at any second.
Gabi closed the blinds before laying down. I was kinda relieved she did. If I’m honest, I didn’t want Noah watching the moment.
After two hours, I still couldn’t sleep. Hearing her breathing right above me was getting me way too excited. I couldn’t stop myself from rubbing one out right then and there, thinking about what we would do tomorrow.
Now, don’t be alarmed, this was a necessary tactical decision. If I didn’t get a good night’s rest, it would give Blake an advantage if our confrontation happened after me and Gabi’s special moment.
Doing this was to help me fall asleep, that’s all. I can’t wait until tomorrow.
[June 11th, 2022]
Well, this didn’t go quite the way I expected. Jimmy’s brainwashing was more thorough than I could’ve predicted. Gabi seems to have developed a kind of Stockholm syndrome. There may also be a sort of “split” in her personality as well.
The part of her that wants to be saved and feel protected is at odds with the intense brainwashing she was subjected to. It makes sense I guess. She needed to play the role of someone who loved Jimmy in order to survive, but it was so against everything she stood for (because of how dedicated she is to me, not Jimmy), that her brain could only make sense of it by developing an entire second personality to be compatible with this false reality Jimmy created.
I can’t believe what she’s been put through. I now realize that the only way she’ll feel safe, is if she witnesses his death by my hand, with her own eyes.
When she woke up to leave the room this morning, I emerged from under the bed. She was just about to leave the room, possibly alerting Blake but I stopped her just in time.
“Gabi.”
She jumped and spun around with a gasp. She pressed her back against the door, trembling when she saw me. Her mouth was agape, and she couldn’t get a word out.
“It’s ok, you’re safe now. “
I said with my arms stretched wide.
“What do you mean? Y-You’re Melvin right? The guy from across the street.”
I laughed.
“You know who I am, stop playing around.”
“P-Please don’t come in my house like this… Please leave.”
The words were hardly able to leave her throat. They came out in strangled whispers.
“You don’t need to worry about me, Gabi. They’re not capable of stopping me. I’m a lot stronger than I look.”
She kept staring at me like a deer in headlights. She didn’t seem to believe me.
“Jimmy has already been taken care of. He can’t hurt you anymore.”
Her demeanir shifted massively. Now she was standing up straight. There was a spark in her eye, and she took a step towards me. I thought just then she finally understood, but she said,
“He’s never hurt me before. Do you know where he is? Nobody can get a hold of him and… he’s not at the hotel. He’s not home either. Please, do you know something?”
“You don’t have to speak in code. Blake isn’t a threat as long as I’m here. Why do you think he hasn’t made a move on you?”
“Who’s Blake? And do you know if Jimmy’s ok? You said he was taken care of, right? Is he ok?”
It seemed she didn’t know that Blake was the one behind all of this. What a coward he was. Using Jimmy as his main enforcer to torture someone I love, while keeping himself hidden? He will get his comeuppance, mark my words.
“I’ll explain the Blake thing later. Jimmy is trapped in an underground bunker. I have one of my people keeping an eye on him regularly. He has no chance of escaping and even if he does, I’m right here with you. Besides, we have plenty of leverage against him anyw-“
“Why is he captured? What do you want?! Money?! Please just let me see him again!”
“You wanna confirm for yourself right? Don’t worry, I’ll even let you kill him if th-“
“NO!”
Gabi was grabbing my collar now, begging me not to kill him. She was screaming and saying all these things that didn’t make sense, saying she loved him, begging me to let him go, begging me to at least let her see him one last time.
When she finally stopped, she collapsed to the ground, sobbing. I took a deep breath.
“Gabi, you don’t need to pretend you love him anymore. Don’t you know who I am? I’m JillyRogue444. I’m the one who’s been protecting you all along.”
She froze.
“What… no… no listen… I don’t…. You’re that guy who donates a lot, right?”
I smiled at her. I guess she was in such a shocked state from all the constant abuse that she couldn’t recognize me at first.
“Please stop this, I don’t know you. Listen, I appreciate the support and everything, but I didn’t ask for whatever this is. Jimmy is a good friend of mine, I have no problems with him. Can you please let him go?”
“Listen, Gabi, I understand you’re still trying to see the good in people because you’re inexperienced, and you don’t have the self confidence to realize what’s considered abusive and wh-“
She pushed me back. It was so unexpected that I actually stumbled onto the ground. She was screaming in my face now.
“YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN MY HOUSE. I NEVER SAID IT WAS OK FOR YOU TO BE IN MY HOUSE. JIMMY IS. HE IS WELCOME HERE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM AND WHY DO YOU THINK YOU’RE PROTECTING ME? WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU THINK WE HAVE? ARE YOU OFF YOUR MEDICATION?”
I think on an unconscious level, she was testing me. So I said,
“I am your guardian. You DID say I was welcome here, many times. You’ve found all kinds of clever ways, subtle cues and coded messages to let me know that I was wanted. Right here, protecting you.”
She stared at me, dumbfounded for a solid minute, then started pacing around her room.
“No no NO!! I never said ANY of that! There were no secret hidden messages! You are just someone who gave me donations, and in return I say ‘thank you’ and move on! Just like with everybody else! It’s like when the batista at Starbucks smiles and acts like they’re fond of you! It’s part of the job!”
I tried to respond, but she interrupted me.
“I swear to GOD if you so much as lay a fucking FINGER on Jimmy, I will have your testicles hanging above my mantle, do you hear me? You are NOT my protector, you are NOT my friend, you’re not even a proper acquaintance! Fuck you, I don’t KNOW you! You do not KNOW me, you delusional fucking moron!”
She took her keys off of her nightstand and held them like brass knuckles.
“Bring me to Jimmy right this goddamn instant.”
I could hardly comprehend what I was hearing. I didn’t know what could posses her to be so needlessly cruel. I got to my feet, and Gabi walked over to get in my face again.
“Every message you sent, asking personal questions about my life made me extremely uncomfortable. I’ve tried over and over again to establish COMPLETELY REASONABLE BOUNDARIES with you! And you just can’t help yourself!”
She scoffed condescendingly.
“First you dox someone’s personal information just cause they INSULTED me. Then in the old groupchat I was nice enough to invite you to despite that, you repeatedly send long-winded paragraphs, bombarding me with compliments in front of everyone, even after I mentioned THREE TIMES that it made me uncomfortable! Everyone was so freaked out by it that they started leaving the groupchat one-by-one. It didn’t help that you directly messaged each and every one of them in private, asking strange questions about me.
Eventually I had to make a whole new groupchat, but that didn’t stop you from finding every single one of my social media’s, liking and commenting on every single one of my posts, and even making alternate accounts whenever I blocked you on those accounts. You just would not stop demanding my attention, over and over again!
You made this big dramatic speech in my first discord server, having a pissbaby meltdown over not being chosen as one of my moderators, while in the same breath pretending to ‘understand that you have no say in my decisions’ before proceeding to try to guilt trip me!”
She did a rude mockery of my voice when she repeated my obviously well-intentioned words. The whole mod thing sounded a lot worse out of context the way she was currently describing it.
“I’ve had moderators try to talk to you about this behavior before, and you still never let up! I DIRECTLY told you to stop sending donations telling me to hydrate, sleep, perform basic fucking hygiene, and all that as if you’re my fucking mom, because I HATE when people do that, and yet you never stopped! Now countless other people got encouraged to do the same thing despite years of effort towards creating a less parasocial community.
All those efforts are in vein now because of people like YOU.
YOU feel entitled to all this attention and praise just for sending bits and donations! I owe you nothing! You CHOSE to do those things! And when I tried preventing it in the first place, you would make a new account every time I blocked you!
And you have the AUDACITY to come into MY HOUSE, putting holes in MY wall, jumping on MY roof, stealing shit and leaving random darts and gloves and other weird creepy shit all over the place?!”
She looked like she was about to cry again.
“I swear to fucking God, if I find out you did anything to my real friend, I will absolutely neuter you. Do I make myself clear!?”
My ears were ringing. I couldn’t find the words to say. I tried to speak, but was interrupted again. Another lecture. I was just drowning out the noise now. I didn’t need this. I put my palm up, signaling for her to stop talking.
“So basically what I’m hearing is, you just did all this cause you like the attention, right?”
Her eyes widened.
“……Fucking ……ExcUUSE ME?!”
I smirked. Looks like I was right on the money.
“You enjoyed being cherished, and treated nicely by someone who would do anything for you, and the thrill of pretending to reciprocate those same feelings. And now that I’m here, confronting you in person, you have the utter audacity to try to gaslight me into thinking that…. that I simply imagined all of it? Just cause you’re now faced with the consequences of your actions? Go fuck yourself. I’ve had enough of being used.”
Instead of being calm and logical like I was, she started clapping in my face condescendingly.
“YOU. ARE. NOT. BEING. USED. BECAUSE. I. DID. NOT. ASK. FOR. ANY. OF-“
I started clapping in her face the same way. Two could play at this game. I was raising my voice now, and she backed up against the wall.
“YOU. USED. ME… YOU. TOLD. ME. TO BE. HERE…. I. DID. EXACTLY. WHAT. YOU. TOLD. ME. TO DO.”
I pushed her into the door. She tried to speak, but this time it was HER that was interrupted for once.
“THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?!”
I screamed, drowning out whatever excuses she was about to say. I punched her square in the jaw, knocking her out. I meant to lecture her some more, but she was unconscious.
I peeked through the blinds. Noah was looking through my window, sitting in one of my chairs. I wondered if he could hear the noise.
I saw a sleeping bag in Gabi’s closet. I wanted to put her in it, carry her to my car, and bring her to the bunker, but Noah would probably be opposed to that. Like I said, he was in love with Gabi as well. He might not be able to come to terms with her true nature as easily as I did.
If I told him about this, he would probably say “Jimmy’s brain washing must’ve been too powerful. It might take some time to heal her.”
….and he might be right. Is that what was happening? I couldn’t tell yet. I decided the best thing to do was to put Gabi in her bed, make her think she just overslept and had a weird dream, and hide in her closet again.
It was so cramped in there though, and my back was killing me from being under her bed for so long. I decided to go to the attic.
I laid down on the mattress for the first time in days. If it weren’t for my hunger, I could’ve fallen asleep right then and there.
I thought about the conversation Gabi and I had. I couldn’t stop shaking from anger. Why would she plan this out so elaborately just to gaslight me in the end? Giving me a sign to read her diary, just so I could see how much she loved Jimmy? It was insane. For someone to go to such lengths just to hurt me. Only Blake would do something like that.
Blake…. wait a minute. I realized he was still in the house. Maybe Gabi knew this too, and that’s why she still didn’t feel safe. But if I was with her, why would that be the case?
I thought it over for a long time. I put myself in Gabi’s shoes. If I were her, and I knew Blake was in the house, but so was Melvin, why would I tell Melvin such cruel things? To protect him? Would I think he wasn’t capable of overpowering Blake? I mean, Blake’s clearly a coward who uses underhanded methods to get his way.
No wait…. that’s exactly it. His underhanded methods ARE the problem! He must have an explosive device somewhere in the house!
Those days where I stupidly lost my focus because of the diary, he successfully got in my head. He must’ve threatened her during that period of weakness, when I wouldn’t be able to notice.
Gabi was trying to protect me by keeping Blake satisfied. It all made sense now. If I could just defuse the bomb… No, Blake must have the trigger on hand. It’s too risky. I needed to get Gabi out of the house before Blake woke up.
There’s no way he didn’t wake up from the argument though. I would have to wait until tomorrow.
I sent Noah a text.
“I’ll keep watch on Gabi’s house between the hours of 5am and 5pm. You do the other 12. Sound good?”
He sent me a thumbs up emoji. Now, he wouldn’t be watching when I brought Gabi to the bunker. I would rather him not see the state that Gabi’s in.
Once she was safe from both Blake AND Jimmy, we would be able to have a proper conversation. But what if she needed to see them both dead? I could manage that. If that was necessary, then FINALLY she could be honest about her feelings, and if she still wasn’t, I could figure out why, and eliminate whoever else it was causing all this fear, making her lie about hating me. Whatever it takes.