Hi, my name is Clint and I am an alcoholic. Dammit I tried writing that like 12 times now and that’s what I keep coming up with. I guess it’s just instinctive at this point. Let me start off by saying that back when this story started I was not living my best life. Well here’s the story behind my first cryptid hunt.
So I was the trailer parks odd-jobber, I just did whatever someone was willing to offer me money for, painting, trimming crops (cough pot cough), making up bathtub moonshine, cooking “cookies”, being the Guinea pig testing out makeshift body armor, delivering moonshine and “cookies”, and exterminating varmints.
On this particular occasion one of the locals named Jim (an old man that speaks funny, he “enunciates” and clearly doesn’t watch NASCAR like normal people, weirdo) hired me to kill some predators that had been killing his cattle during the night. He was a bit cheap but I somehow thought the price was fair, then again I was trying to feed my habits. I just figured it was just a wolf or mountain lion, boy was I in for a surprise.
I parked on the edge of his property, downwind from the cattle and went through at least half a case of PBR before I saw one. It looked like some sort of furless wolf, I chalked it up to mange. It moved in sudden quick bursts, staying low to the ground and only covering 5 yards or so. When it got close enough I took my shot and landed it right in the breadbasket, it dropped like a ton of bricks.
As I got close to it my blood ran cold, it didn’t have a snout or muzzle, it’s head looked human shaped and bald. I thought I had royally screwed up. I rushed to try to help what I thought was a man when I saw it’s body and it was clearly some sort of cat, but it was scaly. I wasn’t sure what to make of it but swore I’d never have any more “cookies” as long as I live because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I decided the job was done and that I’d take the bounty to show off.
I picked the thing up, carried it and loaded it into my flatbed. No sooner than I shut the tailgate, I heard a sharp screeching noise behind me. I turned to see another one charging right at me. I reached for my sidearm, quickly aimed in its general direction, and fired at it until I hit it. It didn’t die right away but rolled around trying to get up to its feet before giving off a loud screech and collapsing dead, only about 3 yards or so from me.
I was frantically reloading fearing there might be more, but the night was silent. I decided to collect this one as well, as I approached I heard another screech, joined by another, then another, then more. There had to be at least a dozen. I ran for my truck, struggled to get the key in the ignition, but something slammed into the passenger side of the truck, shaking the vehicle and making it even harder insert my keys. I looked over and saw one of those things on its hind legs, scratching, trying to dig its way in with its forelegs. It made eye contact with me and that seemed to somehow piss it off and it’s attempts to get in became more frantic.
I went back to getting the key in the ignition but the whole truck was shaking. I heard more screeching and realized there were multiple trying to get in the truck from all angles. I eventually got it, started the truck up and peeled out, speeding back to the trailer park.
As I frantically drove I looked back in the mirror, they were somehow keeping up, I was loosing them but barely. I couldn’t shake them. What would I do when I got to the trailer park? Would they just give up when they got to close to a form of civilization? Or would they follow me in, in the dead of night when everyone was sleeping? These things had no reservations about attacking me or my truck, would they attack the residents? I wasn’t sure if I should try to shake them or just go to the trailer park and get help.
I started thinking about the residents, all the burnouts, the junkies, and deadbeats. If they couldn’t fend them off and save me what were they worth? “Screw em” I thought and continued to barrel down to the park with those pissed off things in tow.
As home came into sight I reflected on the trailer park, all the tailgate parties, shindigs, the times we hid each other from the cops with no questions asked, all the times we came together to put out fires when moonshine exploded or “baking” went wrong, all the nights spent on others couches sobering up, the friends that accepted me as family.
I took a breath, and turned into the wheel towards the dark nothingness, away from any signs of civilization. I laid on the horn a few times to wake anyone up just in case one of those things strayed off towards the park. I looked at my fuel gauge, I was on empty, I maybe could get 15 miles out of it. I made peace with my decision, and drove off into the darkness, with those things right behind me. I had resigned to my fate.