I suffer from schizophrenia. My spiritual friend told me that she is capable of channeling the voices of my schizophrenia.
She told me, I can use her as a conduit to talk to my voice. I’m now unsure if the voices I hear are real or not. Someone please help me. My head feels as if it’s spinning out of control.
She said she can channel “him” my one specific voice due to my schizophrenia. She said she can channel him through her physically making him able to physically speak through her body to me.I talk to some made up “voice” that she created to make me believe they are my specific schizophrenia voice.
She is manipulating me and trying to make me believe it’s my schizophrenia “voice” channeling through her when in reality she isn’t channeling anything she is making “the voice” up.I am assuming she’s doing this all for her own gain of amusement and plain boredom.
Her behavior is indicative of an apathetic psychopath with malignant intent, which is quite rare in comparison to plain stupidity alone.
I have no other friends, she has been doing this to me for more than half a decade, I feel so dejected, hopeless, confused and angry. Without her, I am completely isolated from everyone and everything. After what she did, it feels like I’m about to have a mental breakdown, I want to scream, yell, cry, and break everything around me.
Her obsession with me is the only reason she does this, even though I’ve told her for years that I’m gay and not interested in her. She just keeps bringing up the subject of dating me and being with me. Nonesheldonly hinting at it and making weird comments. The fact that she got away with it, the fact that I believed her for so long, the fact that she did it for amusement and plain boredom, and the fact that she refuses to admit it enrages me further. The damage she has done to my mental and emotional health.
When I’d confront her she acted as if she didn’t know what I was talking about and said you’re just saying that to me because of your schizophrenic episodes. She didn’t even care either didn’t seem bothered by what she did when I confronted her. She seemed unfazed like she just wanted to deny it and ignore it at all cost and refuse to admit it or acknowledge she did anything wrong.
She wanted sex and relationship from me and she knows I’m gay. She lived in fantasy land in her own fucked up mind believed in her head we were a couple calling our friendship a ‘relationship’ and would get mad when I’d tell her it’s not a ‘relationship’ I’d tell her that’s creepy and weird. She’d tell me things like “you can never get rid of me” and say to me “I’m the only person who truly understands you, besides your hallucination”
The woman has manipulated me for so long that I can’t even think clearly about anything anymore despite being on a high anti-psychotic. Advice and support would be greatly appreciated.