Meeting my girlfriend was one of the scariest experiences of my life. But it was also something that I’ll hold as a core memory. During my freshman year, I had incredibly bad asthma, mostly with extremely stressful situations. Not to mention it was paired with a little healthy dose of anxiety. Granted, I definitely could have had it worse, but it didn’t exactly make my life easy.
I can’t remember why I was anxious that day. Maybe it was because of a test, or maybe because I got self conscious about my outfit or something stupid like that. All I know is that I was having the hardest time breathing, and I couldn’t find that dumb inhaler anywhere. And the more I panicked over the fact that I couldn’t breathe, the harder it became to breathe.
I found myself having a panic attack in the middle of the hallway. Everyone one was yelling and shoving their way through the school, so that only amplified my emotions. Everything was blurry, one side of the hall felt like it was in slow motion and the other was felt like it was speeding by. I was so overstimulated, I actually thought I was going to die. Then, she tapped my shoulder.
“Hey, I think you dropped this.”
She held that tiny red piece of plastic in her hands, but to me it was like looking at gold. What a relief it was to finally breathe like a normal person. It was so refreshing, and I thank God she was there to help me. I had no idea what to say, I was a fourteen year old who had little experience talking to girls, especially ones who were nice to me.
“Thanks, you’re a life saver.”
“No problem, it looked like you needed it. I’m Nicole, but everyone just calls me Nikki.”
I found out she had a few classes with me, and I looked forward to every day I got to see her, not to mention I changed up my style to really get her to notice me. I started to comb my hair more, made a habit to stand up straight, even stole some of my dad’s cologne to make an extra good impression. None of it really worked, not I until actually started being myself and not just what I thought she would like.
It wasn’t until the following year where I hit a growth spurt, and after being friends for a while I somehow gained enough confidence to ask her out. She responded pretty quickly, asking what took me so long.
Fast forward two years, now we’re seniors and the relationship is still going strong. I wanted to say “I love you” from week one but I also didn’t want to sound too needy. Eventually, I said it but completely on accident. She looked at me with the most serious blue eyes and told me how she thought I was cute since the day she picked up my inhaler. I honestly never forgot that day, and it felt so surreal yet that she didn’t either.
These past few weeks have been very weird, though. Things have been fine between us, but she’s been less than her cheery self I first knew. At first, she said she was fine, and I believed her. I didn’t feel it was right to push her to open up about something she wasn’t comfortable with. But as time went on I could see something was bothering her. I eventually got her to crack, and she just mentioned a weird reoccurring dream she’s been having, once or twice every week or so.
I was relieved, a dream couldn’t be that bad. After all, it’s just a bunch of stuff the brain makes up. So naturally, I just tuned it out. What else could I do? But then she kept bringing it up, and it really seemed to be bothering her. One day after school, she stopped at my house just to unwind from the day. She was sitting near my computer desk and I was sitting on my bed playing video games. I’m pretty good at dividing my attention, so this kind of thing never really brought up any problems. I was just getting close to the end of the level when she tried to bring up the dream again, and how she felt it was really freaky. I honestly had no idea how to respond, so I made a joke about how maybe she’s psychic and seeing visions into the future.
“Sam, can you just be serious for once? Can you do that for me? Just for one second, no jokes, no sarcasm, none of that crap. Can you just take me seriously?”
Not wanting to enrage my girlfriend any more, I paused my game and shifted my whole body toward her to show her she had my full attention.
“Ok, ok I’m sorry, really. I’m being a douche about something that’s really bothering you, so let’s talk about it. I’m all ears.”
“Thank you. I didn’t mean to raise my voice, I just…”
I stopped her, and moved a few inches closer.
“Just start from beginning.”
“Ok. Well, I don’t exactly know when it started but I keep coming back to this weird Other World. I start walking and I find myself in this ruined city that seems to stretch on forever. And there are these thick, twisted trees, bare of any leaves just stretching up towards the sky, past the clouds. Oh, and the sky- it’s just a constant red, like crimson. I just walk for what feels like forever.”
“Woah, that does sound pretty freaky. Do you see anyone in these dreams, like anyone you know?”
“Now that you mention it, yeah. Nobody I know, I don’t think. But there are these dark figures that kind of look human but they’re…off. Like their face is too long, or their body is wide but very bony, or they have a smile that belongs in the uncanny valley. And they…they keep whispering things as I’m walking. I can’t make it out ‘cause they’re all talking at the same time. I don’t of it’s to each other or me, but they’re all definitely watching me. It’s like a million eyes on me with every step. I keep walking until I see this large stone wall in the distance. I can hear it whispering too. Then, I wake up.”
The way she vividly remembers it was pretty freaky. Every detail like that, committed to memory can’t be normal. But I can’t jump inside of her head, so I use some sort of reasoning to help ease her. “Maybe it has something to do with stress or expectations, I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you ‘don’t know’?”
“I mean it’s a dream, Nic. I’m not an expert analyst. What am I supposed to say?”
“Maybe, ‘It’s ok hon, I know this is scaring you, but we can figure this out together.’ Y’know, something supportive?”
“I’m trying to be supportive, but I can’t help what I can’t understand.”
“Whatever, forget it. I shouldn’t have even said anything.”
“Oh, c’mon. Don’t be like that.”
“It’s not- ugh, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault, and it’s not fair to take it out on you. It’s just this stupid dream keeps happening and it’s really stressing me out and I don’t know why and-“
She stood up from the chair and plopped on my bed, groaning into my pillow out of frustration. To comfort her, I put my hand on her head and gently stroked her brown hair. I was about to tell her it would be alright and we’d find out what this nightmare meant, but I felt a buzzing sensation spreading across my bed. Nikki lifted her face, pulling out her phone to tap the screen and put it to her ear.
“Hello? Hey, yeah I’m just with-ok, yes. Yes, I’m on my way now. Ok, see you in a bit, bye.”
She ended the call and looked at me while rolling her eyes.
“That was my mom, she needs me home. I’ll call you later?”
“Yeah, sure. No problem.”
Nikki grabbed her bag and headed downstairs towards the door, giving a friendly wave to my parents. I did feel pretty bad for her. Whatever this dream was, it was really messing her up, and if it’s messing her up, it’s messing me up by default. I try to be an empathetic person, and I think I do a good job, but if something genuinely doesn’t make sense to me, it’s hard to feel that way. Especially if it doesn’t directly affect me. Maybe that’s just me, maybe I’m just crazy. But I do love Nikki, truly I do. So I’m going to figure out what this means, no matter how long it takes. She’s worth it.
I went online and searched every dream analysis web page I could find. No way we can afford a psychiatrist, so this’ll have to do. All these different meanings just don’t add up with Nikki’s life. According to some, her being in another world is apparently supposed to represent losing touch of reality or control, but she’s one of the most focused people I know, always thorough with everything. Not to mention she’s getting a full ride to a college she chose. As for people whispering and watching her, from what I’ve read, that’s supposed to reflect a personal impulsive behavior, or fear of being judged. The thing is, Nikki is one of the most liked people in the whole school, literally. She’s nowhere near popular, but she’s always kind, never talks behind anyone’s back (even if they deserve it), and always brightens up the day. Most of all, she just doesn’t care if someone doesn’t like her. She’s got no enemies, nobody to even bat an eye against her sweet nature. So why would she have a deep fear of being judged? With no luck, I decided to try searching up the place to see if maybe it’s something she saw in real life, and was just stored in her brain. But nonetheless, it was like it didn’t exist. After about almost two hours, I gave up and knocked out on the edge of my bed.
The next morning I threw on my flannel and black converse, and made the walk to school. It was only about 20 minutes or so away from my house, so it’s good to get my steps in, I guess. I enjoy the fall days, though. October is my favorite month, with the leaves changing, every morning being filled with the cool air, it all comes together to make the perfect season. As I’m taking in the same scenery I’ve seen almost my whole life, the silence is broken by the one person who does it best.
“Hey, there’s my favorite twink!”
“And a good morning to you too, Ray.”
Ray has been my best since fourth grade, as do all cliche duos do for some reason. I was a pretty wimpy kid, what elementary schooler wasn’t? One thing he often did to “toughen me up” was this thing he called “training”. It normally involved just me running at him and trying to attack him with everything I had, and he won every single time. But it did teach me not be afraid or hold back, so I guess that’s something. We both grew up without brothers, so we really only had each other. Through everything, I knew I could count on him. He truly is a ride or die.
“Everything good, man? You kinda look like you wanna die.”
I guess I couldn’t hide the way my face couldn’t even attempt to fake a smile.
“Eh, it’s just some problems with Nikki.”
“Oof, you guys having some trouble in paradise? ‘Cause if you guys break up, then there’s no hope for me and Kenzie.”
“No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just that she keeps having these freaky dreams about this whole other world and she feels like people are watching her and following her. It’s really stressing her out, and now that stress is gonna trickle down to me. So yeah, everything is just peachy.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound normal. You try looking it up?”
“Yes, obviously. That’s the first thing I tried, that’s the first thing everyone in our generation always tries.”
“Hey, screw you, I’m just trying to help.”
He looked down and thought for a second. When he looked back at me, his face read that he had and an idea that was bound to sound insane.
“Ok, listen. This whole situation sounds really freaky and oddly specific. I know this forum on the deep web that might house some people who could have the answer to this.”
“You want me to ask for advice from strangers on the dark web? Are you out of your mind?”
“No, it’s the deep web, not the dark web. There’s a difference. The deep web will get you past all those surface level answers. The dark web is where you go if you wanna see some girl’s head chopped off- whatever, I digress. The point is, this might help more than whatever you find on page one of google.”
“How’d you even find this forum? How do you even know what people say there works?”
“Remember that Xanax I took freshman year? Where’d you think I found out where to get it?”
I put my tongue in my cheek. “I feel like I might regret listening to you, but I guess it’s worth a try.”
Ray gave me the link to the forum amongst the deep web, and for privacy reasons I obviously can’t share it here. The only plan I had was to submit this problem and wait for a response. I would have to do it during a free period so I could at least work out what I would say.
We arrived at school a good fifteen minutes before the bell, getting to absorb all the school spirit around us. Our class was getting ready for the Fall Blueblossom Dance, it’s like prom, except our school rebranded the whole thing. I’ve said it probably a thousand times but it’s the dumbest names for a dance. Nikki’s really excited for it, though, she’s been looking forward to it for years. Ever since we started dating, she wouldn’t stop talking about it. I’m not too much of a “dance” guy, but as long as I get to spend time with her, I’m sure we can make it a fun night. Hopefully we can get this whole scary dream situation out of the way by then.
After first period, Kenzie and Nikki are sitting by the window a few feet away. Ray and I went to meet them and Kenzie is the first to notice us. Kenzie was the latest one of our friend group, she started dating Ray about a year ago and naturally clicked with us. She’s got dirty blonde hair that she always wore in a braid, and blue eyes like Nikki. It was nice to have a girlfriend at the same time as my best friend, sometimes we went on double dates and other times we’d just hang out with nothing better to do.
“Hey guys, you heard about the hurricane that might hit us next week?”
Nikki scrunched up her face. “Don’t even bring that up. I swear if that thing comes and ruins the dance-“
I tried to calm her. “It won’t. It’s probably gonna be a level 2 at most, if it even comes our way.”
Ray chimed in. “Yeah, and if it does, it’s not like the whole dance being canceled would be the worst thing ever.”
Kenzie elbowed her boyfriend to check him for the discouraging comment. He raised his hands up in defense.
“Kidding. I’m kidding. Don’t stress, Nic. We all promised we’d go together, and we will.”
“I really hope so.” Nikki yawned while rubbing the edges of her eyes.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” Kenzie noticed her drowsy behavior. “I know you said you were fine earlier, but you’ve been yawning nonstop.”
Nikki defended herself. “I’m fine, really. I just haven’t been getting that much sleep recently.” She looked at me like she didn’t want me tell to mention the reality of her unique situation.
I was about to interject anyway, regardless of how much she wanted to keep it to herself, until I was interrupted by the next bell. Our group split up for the day until lunch, meaning I finally had time to write something down in that forum. I figured it’d be best to use my free period, more time to think. I maneuvered my way through chatty students and obnoxious teachers until I reached the library, where I took a seat and pulled out my laptop and pulled up the link Ray gave me. If I was going to the deep web, I might as well do it professionally. Stupidly enough, I had to make a whole account to leave a comment. I couldn’t think of any clever name so I just chose “NeedanAnswer32”. Pretty cheesy, but I wasn’t here to sound cool. I scrolled through different questions and confessions so many random strangers were bold enough to share online, protected by the barrier of anonymity. “How to bring my dog back to life”, “How to sell on the black market”, or my personal favorite, “How to get a ghost to haunt your enemies”. It was a field of crazy people wanting to know crazy things, and I guess now I was one of them. I thought long and hard what to say, trying to remember the details of Nikki’s dream, and came up with this:
Hello everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been experiencing a recurring nightmare about this Other World. I know this might sound crazy, but it’s a desolate and unsettling landscape with ruined cities, and it has dark twisted trees reaching past a crimson sky and I always feel like something is watching me.
The strange part is, I can’t find any information about this Other World anywhere, or even what it means. It’s like it doesn’t exist outside of my dreams. Has anyone else encountered something similar or knows what this might mean? Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated.
When I was finally satisfied, I hit submit. Now all I had to do was wait for a response.
“Hey, whatcha writing?”
Nikki was peering over my shoulder, I nearly jumped out of my skin before slamming my laptop shut.
“Nikki, hey! Don’t you have Stats, like, right now?”
“Yeah, we weren’t doing much today and I already finished all the class work I had so Mr. Robinson said I could leave early. Perks of being a senior, remember?”
“Oh right, yeah. Makes sense. You do get math faster than anyone I know.”
“So, are you gonna answer my question?”
“Question- oh, right. No, I was just, uh, looking up a question to help with my English paper.”
“Well, I can help you if you want.”
“No it’s fine, you’ve practically carried me this year. Might as well figure this one on my own.”
I don’t exactly know why I lied to her. Maybe I just didn’t want to worry her or maybe I didn’t want to give her false hope if I actually didn’t get an answer. Maybe I wanted to sure of what I knew before I stirred anything up. I honestly couldn’t give you any straight answer, it was almost immediate.
The next couple of days were nothing special, except now Nikki was having those dreams every time she dozed off. She described it as seeing flashes of it in her daydreams, and a full on nightmare when she tries to fall asleep. I can tell she’s losing a lot of sleep over it, but she insists she can mange it. I wish I believed her. I sat at my desk, rubbing my temples, the only thing on my mind was Nikki’s well being. It hurts, seeing someone I love going through something destructive and exhausting, and not being able to do a thing about it. I felt so helpless, like a bystander to a horrible tragedy. Could I help, or would I just make it worse?
I was interrupted by a notification on my laptop. I looked up in the top right corner of my screen, and there it was.
It was a response. Someone had answered me.
I rapidly clicked on the notification, automatically opening back up the tab the forum was in. My response came from TG3TheSeeker77. His message was straight to the point.
I need you to be 100 percent honest. Is this for real? Are you seriously experiencing this exact dream? Down to the cities, the trees, and the sky?
He seemed oddly serious, but I really needed whatever answers he could provide. I wrote back:
Yeah. Well, technically my girlfriend is having these dreams. But it’s really stressing her out and wearing her down. I just need some insight. I can’t find anything online about this type of dream or what it means. Do you have any idea?
I stared at those three blinking dots for what felt like forever.
The reason you can’t find anything on it is because it doesn’t exist. Not in this world.
What do you mean “not in this world”?
I’m sorry, but this is something I can’t fully explain over a chat room. I can help you, but it’s imperative that we meet. Do you live near the town of Helenium Valley, Oregon?
I live right in the middle of that town.
Perfect, I do too. That makes this much easier. Look, I know we’ve never met, but I swear to you this is not just some dream. There is so much more to this, you have no idea. I can talk to you more about it in detail, we can meet in a mutual spot if it makes you feel safer, but it has to be ASAP.
I almost declined the offer to meet, but then flashes of Nikki popped in my mind. How her smile was fading, her eyes looked more and more exhausted after every night. Whatever this dream was, it was taking a toll on her. I couldn’t just sit by and let that happen.
You know the Maple Leaf Diner on Red Road? The one by the movie theater?
Yes I know it. I can meet you there tomorrow evening at 6. Sound good?
Yeah. I’ll see you then.
I haven’t been able to sleep properly for weeks now. It started off slow, but the dream kept getting more and more intense as it went on. It started off happening maybe once or twice a month, then it transitioned to a week or so. Then everything other day.
I open my eyes, and I’m on the ground, face up. I feel a violent wind grazing my skin, and there’s a constant smell of ash. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was in Hell. I get up and start walking through this barren city. Almost every window is cracked, and there’s debris scattered across the streets. Some buildings are so leveled, the top floor is only a few feet off of the ground. All I can do is walk around and hope I’m not lost forever. I know it’s a dream, but everything feels so real. Not like the type of real that’s in the moment, but the type of real that I can feel when I wake up. I remember one instance when I tripped while climbing over a large yet tattered sign and cut my arm on a rogue piece of glass. Scary thing is, I woke up to my arm bleeding. I patched it up and kept it a secret, I didn’t want to worry Sam.
I’m not sure what exactly to do in these dreams, so I just keep walking. That is until I see…them. I call them the Distorted. They have somewhat human forms but they’re…off. The entirety of their being is a dark violet, and they can have fingers too long or heads too wide. Some will have disproportionate limbs, ones with a shoulder twice the size of their head, or an extremely skinny body with a neck the size of a football. But what they all have in common is their dark violet bodies, exuding a staticky noise, the type you would see on an old TV that has no signal. I can see their quaking when I walk past them, I can feel their eyes following my every step, I can hear their incessant whispers and growling. And it’s all over me. I look in the distance and see that same stone wall. It’s the largest thing in this place, it must be at least a couple hundred feet tall. I can hear it whispering it to me too, and I can feel my heart beating in throat as it’s putting me in some sort of trance. It’s…calling to me. It wants me to go. But I can’t, I don’t know what that is and I don’t want to find out. It’s getting louder and louder, and my head starts pounding until-
I wake up in my backyard. I’m in my hammock underneath the canopy. I’m ok, I’m home, I’m safe. I remember being really exhausted after school, I thought maybe changing where I fall asleep would help the nightmares, but I guess I was wrong.
Still feeling drowsy, I knew there was only one thing that could help me get my spirits up. Coffee. I headed over to the same spot I always do, it had such a calming aesthetic and the smell was like a big, warm hug. If anything could make me feel better, it’s this place. Well, that and Sam. He does have a way with his words when he wants to. I pulled out my phone and texted him to see if he wanted to meet up, but he said he had to study with Ray, which is a bit weird since they never study together. First time for everything, I guess. Maybe it’ll be nice to have a little “me” time.
The ringing of the bell at the front door signals my arrival, and I take a seat at one of the tables, and the waitress kindly takes my order. I normally get a cinnamon roll too, but I’m not too hungry with all that’s going on.
I’ve been in a bit of a weird spot where I feel jittery and sleepy and the same time. It’s probably a side effect of all this exhaustion. God, why is this all happening to me? I just wanna enjoy the Blueblossom dance, and get a good night’s rest. Is that so much to ask for? I don’t wanna dump it all on Sam or Kenzie, and I don’t even have a clue on what to do about it. The problem isn’t sleep, it’s just what happens in my head during the sleep.
I sit in the booth for probably only 10 minutes trying to make sense of all this until I hear…whispering. It sounds too familiar. It sounds like a thousand voices at once. It’s…it’s just like in the dream, except this time I can kind of make it out.
The…the “Rift”?
The Rift…is…g-growing?
The Rift is growing.
I look up to find where the collection of voices are coming from, and I see them. The Distorted. Their staticky bodies are irregularly shaped, as usual. And their eyes are glowing with no sign of humanity in them. They sit in the booths, lean on the windows, stand near the doors. They’re everywhere. I can hear every single one of their whispers clearly now.
“The Rift is growing.”
“Have you been there?”
“I can’t escape.”
“Has she seen the Rift?”
“Join us, we’re lonely.”
Their voices are all different pitches, some screeching and some slow and reverberating. I see them slowly move towards me, some crawling over tables and others dragging their feet, reaching their hand to me. The bodies are so hideous, some bony and cracked, others swollen and distended. My breathing is like a jackhammer, and I can feel my head buzzing, I don’t know if this would be a panic attack or a hallucination. I feel like I’m underwater with my eyes just above the surface, stuck in slow motion. This can’t be real, this can’t be real, this can’t-
“Miss, are you okay? You seem a bit startled.”
I blinked, turning my head towards the waitress with my coffee in hand. I looked back around the shop, but everything was normal. Everything was normal. My hands are shaking, but I try to regain my composure to answer her.
“I… I think I’m okay now. It was just… a moment.”
“Are you sure? Your nose is…well, bleeding.”
She was right. I didn’t notice it, but my nose was dripping almost all the way to my lip. I grabbed my napkins and furiously tried to clean myself up. I tried to give some sort of excuse, but my went blank. I slammed down a 10 dollar bill on the table and rushed out of there. This was more than a weird dream, and it’s getting more nightmarish every day that passes. I desperately needed someone to talk to. As I walked out on to the sidewalk, I pulled out my phone and called the first person who I knew was free and would answer.
“Kenzie, hey. Listen, um, could you meet me? I need to tell you something.”