The awful things that night will never leave me, I dream about it every night and it happened twenty years ago. The pain of having to carry your daughters coffin is the worst pain anyone could have. It was my fault, I should of known her mother wasn’t stable, even after she said she recovered and now my little girl is gone.
My wife is in prison, she got 25 years meaning that monster will be let out in 5 years, out like nothing happened, gets to get on with the rest of her life. We met when we were 20 and got married at 22, we had Clara at 25. It was 2 months after Clara’s birth that she started drinking heavily. She said she could control it and stop when she wanted to.
It was Clara’s first birthday and the whole family came to our house. I had told my wife please don’t drink today, she looked at me like I said something really bad. Everyone was having fun chatting and listening to music. I noticed my wife was nowhere to be seen, I went looking for her and shouted her name but there was no response. I ran upstairs to see if she had gone to sleep.I noticed the bathroom door was open slightly with the light on. I opened the door to see my wife on the floor with a bottle of vodka and blood all over her head, she’s banged it on the sink and cut it open, she was soon rushed to hospital in an ambulance.
The doctor said she’d be okay but we need to get her the help she needed otherwise she could hurt herself again or hurt others. A week after our little girls party we signed her into a rehabilitation program, I visited her once a week for the ten months she was in there, and that wasn’t the last time she was in there. “Mrs Walters, you have been found guilty for reckless driving, drunk driving and manslaughter of 8 people including your own daughter”. That is what the judge said before sending my wife
I could imagine the fear of my daughter while the car was going on to the motorway, driving into oncoming cars. Police reports stated Clara wasn’t strapped in, injuries suggest she was thrown around the car before the truck swerved and hit the corner of the car, making the car roll several times, it caused a pile up. Clara’s body was found on the verge of the motorway, she was thrown out of the windscreen, police said she was alive while it happened and went head first, killing her by first impact. That woman destroyed families just because she drove under the influence of alcohol ,my daughter is dead because of her mother drinking, and the person with the drinking problem walks away ok.
The bells of the church rang, it was the day of the funeral. I wore a nice black suit with buttons on the jacket, my shirt made with the best of cotton. The coffin was gorgeous and had to be the best for my daughter. The pain of having to walk your daughters coffin down the aisle and not her in her wedding dress is the worst pain imaginable. Her mum was there under police custody, she doesn’t deserve to even be alive. Seeing my little girls body in the coffin was hard to look at but I gave her a kiss on the forehead and placed her favourite teddy mister bear next to her. This was the time I got to say goodbye, forever.
My wife crying to my little girls death meant nothing, she shouldn’t of been at the funeral, I can’t help but feel that the wrong person is in the coffin. The court case is next week, and I’ll be going to see the murderer of my child get taken down to where she belongs. “Please stand miss Walters”. The court room was full, friends,family and people who heard about it on the news. My wife kept looking at me with innocent eyes and smiling, I looked back with hate in my eyes, how could this murderer just sit there and smile? “Miss Walters, you have been charged with 8 counts of manslaughter, driving under the influence of alcoholic fluids and reckless driving.” My wife looked distraught but I didn’t care. “You will serve the maximum of 25 years in prison.” I thought 25 years was to short, I think they should have locked her up and threw away the key. How life has now changed drastically in a short amount of time, married at 22, had Clara at 25, lost Clara at 30, my wife’s life ruined at 30. And for my little girl, her life hadn’t even started.
Although I didn’t want to, I knew I needed to, I went to visit the murderer. I heard the buzzer of the cell door open, there she was, in cuffs, how she should be. “Hi” she said, I just looked at her, I didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, I never meant for this to happen” she spoke first. “You’re sorry, you’re fucking sorry?” I replied with emotion “my little girl is dead because of you” I started crying by then. “It’s our lit-.” She tried to say before I cut her off “your no mother” I jumped in. “What made you think it was good to drink and drive, especially with Clara in the back?” “I don’t know, I just felt like going for a drive, I thought we’d be fine.” “You’re a mess, you know that?” I replied, she just looked down at her lap, her knotty brown hair covering her face. I told her that I wouldn’t be coming back for a visit and to never ask for me to visit.
20 YEARS LATER (present day)
Happy 25th birthday sweetheart, it’s been tough these last 20 years not able to see my little girl grow up, get married, have kids of your own. You went to young and never had the real taste of living, never got proper education, never got to go to prom, never had a first love, you never got to live a proper life, all because of alcohol. The person who you would call mum is out next week, no doubt she’ll come and see you, to try and apologise, you can listen to her if you want to. Happy birthday again, until next time, my little girl.
THIS IS NOT A TRUE STORY, BUT IT COULD BE. PLEASE DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE, ITS NOT JUST YOUR LIFE THAT CAN BE RUINED. If you are struggling and need help, remember there are helplines you can speak to. Thank you.