I , 24f, comes muslim-arab household, but born and raised in Norway.
I am secretly engaged to a muslim guy whol i have known for years, since we were 15 and now that we are adults and have feeling for eachother, we wanted to get married together. But the thing is my mom hates him and his family because of past rumors about them that arent true. She forbade me to have any contact w/ him even tho he wasy only friend in high school back at the time.
So me and him havent had any contact after his family moved back to Iraq in 2017, when we were 17-18, because of the moving.
So last year he reached after for so long and i had so many mixed feelings, but mostly i was happy that he reached out because i missed him soo much. He is living somewhere in Europe now alone while most of his family is still in Iraq.
I didnt tell my mom he reached out to me because of her nasty reactions, mind you all, she gets really angry and violent, and would call him and his family names whenever he or his family are mentioned
We started talking everyday together on whatsapp and social media, and honestly we are both in love with eachother, and we were in love before too.
We both knew we wanted to get married snd have family together, but we also knew my mom wont accept our rs. So we engaged secretly, but only his family knew ans they accept as part of them
My mom later found out about our rs (not our engagement) this year around my birthday and procedded to make me feel the most shittiest human ever. She made me feel dirty by calling my horrid names, cursed at me and even threatened to kill him if i contienue to be stay with him. And because of her led to me and him almost breaking up, and leave, but we knew we couldnt leave eachother. He even TRIED TALKING to her, but she would not listen to his good intentions for me and that he respects her as my mother, but what does my dearest mother do, she called his mother and young sisters for bunch of whres , and that he has a deadbeat dad who left them for other whres.. i got so mad that i shut the convos from her phone and told her angirly what she did was so messed up. She told me she would disown me and kick me out if ever continueing the rs. I told her i am an adult and that what she did was the reason why i never ever has friends or atleast getting any respect from people around me because of her. She then told me that she wasnt the reason but me for being a wh*re and all the other insults she throws at me, but i know it isnt true.
She never aknowledged my feelings, not then and not even now.
I met him secretly when traveling to Europe in August and honestly i had the best time of my life. And i missed his hugs so much. But the happiness didnt last when i got back to Norway and my mom started a fight with me because apparantly i had a cousin who lived in the same town as my fiance , and she snitched on me by telling my mom she saw me and him, walking hand in hand. So yeah, i apparantly got an relative living there too and my mom had other people stalk my social media too….
At this point me and my mom had many fights about this for many months now ans she told me if i chose him over family, she would disown me. I told her just to disown me then because its not the first time and wont be the last.
I regret sooo bad by moving back home, and the worst part is she talks shit about me and my fiance to my relatives, my closest friends (not friends anymore because of my mom) and to everyone she meets and knows of.
I am saving up to move out in a few months, but to be honest i am mentally drained because i know my dream wedding has to be very small since none of my family and relatives dosent want anything to do with me in their life anymore.
What to do? Sorry long post, just needed to let it out.