Mommy got me the recipe.
My mommy has a secret. She told me not to tell anyone, but sometimes I struggle to keep the secret. She said if I tell anyone, even my friends at school, we would get into trouble. So please don’t tell anyone this, ok? But she also said that what she is doing is perfectly normal. I don’t understand her sometimes. I try not to question her because she terrifies me.
Mommy does strange things when she’s sad or angry -she said it’s her way of coping. She goes for a long drive, and then she comes back with a bag with a sleeping person in it. She’s doing it more and more. She says the person is very kind and decided to do something nice for us. And then she makes us a juicy stew. She makes us eat it. We all eat it up so fast, it dribbles down our chins, the meat is tender and strange.
But one time I caught mommy chopping up Priest Ginsberg in the barn outside. I didn’t understand, because he looked like he got in a bad fight, with the type of injuries you can’t fix with a band-aid. That didn’t look like he wanted to be our lunch. When mommy saw me, she had this crazy look in her eyes. It was like she was from a horror movie! I was so scared I didn’t want to look her in the eyes anymore because I didn’t want to see that again.
This morning she asked me to start with the new stew for lunch while she is out. Daddy showed me once how to follow the recipe and not burn myself. It’s easy- follow one step at a time so you don’t forget anything and keep track. First read the ingredients slowly.
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
She told me the priest was bad and sometimes bad people deserve it. I asked if she would ever cook me or my brothers if we were naughty. She said no. Does mommy lie like daddy? Is mommy evil? Sometimes I wish I had a lock to my room. I wish her footsteps didn’t terrify me at night. Are mommies supposed to be scary?
1/4 teaspoon salt
My daddy works far away and he only visits once a year in June. She was really sad when he left to work and get us more money. But he promised me he would stay longer this year. I think he lied, because I haven’t seen him yet, and it’s July! I have a bad feeling he isn’t ever coming back, like grandpa. The thought makes my tummy ache. My brother, Billy, keeps asking where he is, but I don’t know what to say. Mommy doesn’t like to talk about daddy anymore.
4 cups assorted cut-up fresh vegetables (potatoes, carrots, celery, and onions)
My friend told me when is grandma died, his mom cried a lot. I wondered if she also went for long drives and came back with sleepy people. Maybe that’s just how mothers get rid of sadness.
1 can (14 oz each) lower sodium beef broth
I hope I don’t do it too one day. I feel sad whenever I see all the missing posters. I miss the priest too. The stew is so good, I can’t help but eat it, even when I taste a fingernail or a toe. But I feel so guilty I throw up the stew sometimes on purpose. It scares me to think of mommy chopping their fingers up. My tummy hurts when I imagine her dragging her butcher knife across the dinner table to slice open the priest’s face, cooked and crispy.
1 can (8 oz each) Tomato Sauce with Basil, Garlic and Oregano
I wonder if I should keep her secret. Maybe I should tell daddy, so he can come back to make things normal again.
1 pound of Billy , cut into bite-size pieces.
Did I read that right? Mommy, please…
1 pound of Billy , cut into bite-size pieces.
My head hurts, my tummy hurts. Where is Billy? I can’t be without him. Mommy said she wouldn’t.
1 pound of Billy , cut into bite-size pieces.
I haven’t seen Billy today…
1 pound of Billy , cut into bite-size pieces.