Throughout the years, I have had my share of quirky and strange neighbors.
But none quite as interesting as Eliza Munoz.
I met her during my second year of residency at Baylor Medical in Dallas, and from that very first encounter she immediately caught my attention.
I was just stepping out of the elevator and jingling my keys when two people shoved their way out of the emergency stairs and up against the wall. One of them was a tall slender redhead with a curvy figure and a short black dress with lace stockings underneath and pumps. She was gorgeous and vivacious as hell, but I immediately felt dirty for thinking such thoughts about a woman that was clearly old enough to be my mother. The man that was pinning her to walk was younger though, probably two or three years older than I; and muscular as heck. The two of them were kissing and moaning like two animals and I rolled my eyes in disgust.
“Get a room,” I muttered as I went into my apartment and closed the door. Even then, because of the thin walls; I could hear everything they did that night. And as embarrassing as it is to admit, I was extremely turned out by the vitality and sexuality of this woman. I was jealous too, of a life that I probably would never be part of.
Two days later, I found out her name thanks to another gentleman caller she had. This one was a Spanish dude that yelled and cussed at her when she threw him out and threatened her. Once again, I was caught in the middle and once he was gone, she ran out into the hallway and tossed his clothes like they were garbage. His dirty pants hit me and I dropped my phone mid text.
“Oh my god I’m so sorry,” she said, leaning down to get it. If I wasn’t already enamored by her figure, this view would have tipped me over the edge since all she was wearing was a thin nightgown.
“It’s fine. Sorry about… whoever he was,” I said nervously as she passed the phone back to me.
“Julio? He’s no body hun,” she said crossing her arms in front of her chest and then her eyes drifted up and down my figure. Like she was sizing me up.
I felt so uncomfortable and had butterflies in my stomach that I didn’t even pay attention to the questions she was asking me. So she waved her hand in front of me and muttered, “Are you deaf sweetie? I said what’s your name?”
“Richard, uh… Richard Prasse,” I told her.
She told me her name and I memorized it like it was the only thing in the world that mattered.
“Hmm you look about my son’s age… Have a good night Richie,” she said with a smile and closed the door.
I’m not afraid to admit that I jacked off to her calling me Richie about three times that night and almost every other night that week. What can I say? I haven’t been laid much since I started the job and this woman and her abundant sexuality was driving me stir crazy. Every time she would bring a different man home while I was up late doing studies and I would hear her and her lover rock the bed I would lose all concentration and just have to take a cold shower. Eventually I realized I would need to work up the courage to actually try and make a move. After all some of these men were even younger than me, so what was the harm in me giving it a go too? Life is too short not to take risks.
I said those types of boosting phrases about a zillion times before finally deciding to go over to her apartment one night and ask her on a date.
My plan was simple, I was just going to use some cheesy pick up line and return some mail that got accidentally placed in my box downstairs. Yet instead, that night changed everything.
Her door was slightly ajar, as though her and her latest boy toy were in such a mood that they couldn’t be bothered to even close it. I was just about to turn around and go home, deflated that I had come on a night when she was busy; when I heard what sounded like a bone crack and a squeal of pain.
Immediately I thought she was in danger so I pushed the door open and stepped into the dark room. I heard what sounded like soft gasping and I whispered her name. “Are you okay…?” I asked softly as I made my way into the small den of the apartment. The noises were coming from her bedroom.
I felt wrong to intrude like this, but it felt like she might be in some kind of danger. The sound of pain was getting worse with each second. And my curiosity got the better of me. What I saw is something I doubt I will ever get out of my mind.
At first I could make out just the curve of her back. But it wasn’t the same way I was used to seeing it at all, it was almost like she was twisting her spine around the man she was straddling, her body stretching and constricting to surround him the way a boa would. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I realized that was exactly what was happening.
She had managed to contort her entire body and was suffocating the man the way a snake might when preparing to devour its meal. Her breasts were pressed right up against the man’s face as he lost all consciousness and then her mouth was stretching and detaching her jaw to allow room for her to swallow him whole.
In the middle of this horrific scene, her sparkling green eyes darted up and focused directly on me. Not knowing what else to do, I ran. I didn’t look back until I made it to my apartment and bolted the door shut. I hardly had time to even catch my breath when I heard a sharp knock at my door. Gazing through the peephole told me it was my sultry neighbor standing there in just a gown with her mid section showing and no underwear underneath it. Her torso was still covered in her lover’s blood.
“Richie… I need you to let me in,” she said in the most sensual voice. I closed my eyes, trying to shake away the visions I had just seen in her apartment and I swallowed a gulp of air.
“I’m sorry you had to see me like that,” Eliza told me. “If you let me in, I can explain.”
I saw her lick her fingers as though savoring the last bit of the man she had likely just ripped the head off of.
I ignored her. I thought for sure she was going to smash the door in and smother me. And I wasn’t sure whether I found that idea sexy or down right terrifying. But surprisingly, she finally left me to my own devices and I slid down onto the apartment carpet and gave a long sigh of relief.
I didn’t sleep one wink. I just sat there listening to the sound of her finishing her meal and shuddered involuntarily.
I think I might need to break my lease. ___