“Hello” I answered.
“Hi, I missed a call from you” replied a gentleman with a deep raspy Welsh voice.
“Yeah, I um…I” I stuttered then paused. It’s difficult trying to explain to somebody that your adopted parrot gave you their number. After a few seconds, I gained back my composure and told him everything.
I told him about Kiwi, and how he’s repeating this man’s number. The man was disinterested. I asked if he knew about the parrot or why he was repeating this number. The man on the phone was hesitant, but eventually began to explain that he did know of an African grey parrot named Shepherd. The bird had belonged to his brother, who hadn’t been seen for years. Nor had his parrot. The gentleman noted that this mobile number had previously belonged to his brother, who prior to disappearing, had given him his old phone and sim card to him. The man was disinterested in homing his brothers parrot, stating that he now lived in a small flat in Glasgow, which he didn’t feel was suitable for Kiwi - or I should say, Shepherd. He continued to tell me that was now my responsibility. I was happy to get this confirmation because I’d really grown attached to Kiwi by now. He had become increasingly confident around me over the short while I’d had him. He was no longer afraid to leave the cage or jump up on my shoulder. Nonetheless, I would hate to lose a pet and I didn’t want to deprive somebody of their best friend - as he was quickly becoming mine!
I pushed further. How was it that a missing person’s parrot should turn up after such a long time? It wouldn’t have been possible for him to survive a UK winter on his own outdoors and without fresh food. Once again, the man was disinterested and brushed off my enquiries with simple answers like “I suppose” or “not sure, lad”. After a while I wasn’t convinced it was worthwhile continuing to push and I dropped it. I thank the man for his time and just before I say goodbye, I had one last question. You see, as a kid I had a little cockatiel, which is like a mini cockatoo. This little guy, Pedro, loved nothing more than to whistle along to the tune from the Adam’s family. It’s actually how we bonded, most of the time. I’d whistle the tune and he’d come running or flying to my side to join in. To tell the truth, I missed Pedro dearly and I craved the bond we once had.
So, I try asking the Welsh gentleman ‘is there any songs Shepherd likes to sing?’. The man chuckled. “Aye. Try whistling ‘Pop goes the weasel’ to him. You know the one?”.
‘Of course’ I respond.
‘Well the little bastard never stopped singing it, last I saw him’, said the man, seemingly amused by the memory.
I was happy enough to learn something at least about the bird, so I thanked bid farewell to the man on the phone. Kiwi was napping by now - he does that a lot- so I waited till the next morning, when Kiwi is most vocal and began to whistle the tune.
5 notes in, he became receptive and looked at me seemingly confused. I tried again and he began to scream. Not whistle or sing, it was a full blown screaming sound. If you’ve never heard an African Grey scream, it’s piercing. The type of noise that penetrates your bones and skull, making you want to grit your teeth and clench your fists. For reference, most parrots can reach volumes of 100 decibels, which is approximately the volume of a car horn! Kiwi kept this up for 5 minutes and then stopped.
He fell silent before he chirped up again, except this time he didn’t scream. Kiwi began repeating numbers again. ‘5307705’ 40346’ ‘530770540’ I began recording the numbers on my phone. At first they seemed to be random and repeating. Sometimes he repeated the first number 8 or so numbers twice, or stopped midway through his recital to eat some seeds, but I kept track. Eventually, I wrote out 19 numbers in total. 19 numbers he just couldn’t get out of his little brain. The number was 53077054034651354. This number was totally different from the phone number I received. I searched the numbers online. Nothing. I thought it could be some sort of code, so I tried my hand at converting it into alphabetical characters where A is 1, B is 2 etc. I’m no Turing, but I figured this couldn’t be right. So, I emailed my friend Nathan, who is a total nerd when it comes to mysteries, codes and general knowledge. 2 weeks pass and Nathan eventually calls me.
‘They’re coordinates, mate’ he shouts. He always shouts when he’s excited.
‘How’d you figure that?’ I asked, unconvinced.
‘You said he keeps pausing. It’s two numbers. 530770540 34651354. You’re just missing the decimal places. 53N 3.4W, that’s the UK. It can’t be a coincidence. These coordinates are for a cabin in the sticks.’
Nathan emailed me the full coordinates, 53.0770540 and -3.4651354. I immediately hopped over to Google Maps where I search the coordinates and bam, a location in North Wales. It’s a rural place, largely forested area and there didn’t seem to be much there except for a small clearing. No building, farm, cars or tracks. Just a clearing in the woods. Theories immediately begin circulating in my head. Maybe it’s a coincidence. But the man on the phone was also Welsh. Is it possible the 2 are connected? Maybe this man owned Kiwi and didn’t want him any more. But why lie? I made it clear I was happy to keep him. Why teach him coordinates for a place in the middle of nowhere. It must have taken hours, weeks or months to teach him 19 numbers like that. Besides, who uses coordinates any more?
Eventually, I decided that the gentleman on the phone did have a brother brother, who had upped sticks and moved to North Wales. Maybe he’d been training Kiwi at this clearing for free flight. This would be a good place to do it. And teaching him the coordinates where he can be returned seems like a good way to ensure he’s returned if he gets lost somehow.
It’s a strange location, but it’s as good to disappear in the UK. Minimal infrastructure, plenty of space if you’re seeking a recluse from the stress of life and scarcely populated. I decided to try and call back the gentleman on the same number. No answer. Yet, just like last time I received a call back soon after from a withheld number…