I’ve always loved parrots. I like the way they express themselves. Parrots cans sing, dance, nod and talk and they’re crazy smart. Parrots can recognise people, identify colours and recall up to 1,000 words.
After graduation University and getting a steady income and my own apartment, I decided to adopt my first parrot. Adopting was important to me, because so many parrots are without homes after people decide owning a parrot isn’t for them. The thing that made me decide to adopt a parrot, was a bad breakup with girlfriend. I needed the company and finally I didn’t have to run my decisions by another person. It just so happened that our local RSPCA animal rescue centre had just posted about a stray parrot. The African Grey had been with the shelter for 6 weeks before I adopted him. The volunteer at the shelter explained that he had turned up in a derelict carpark in a Manchester suburb and was captured by a construction worker who, whilst eating lunch, had found the parrot calling “Hey” and approaching colleagues. He was tempted into a cat carrier with some kiwi from his lunchbox, brought him to the shelter. That’s how he got his name, Kiwi. Without a ring on his leg, chip or any responses to adverts for a missing African Grey, he had nowhere to return to and so I was more than happy to give Kiwi a new home. I know they are horrible pets for most people. They scream, can live up to 80 years and can act mischievously and chew on things they shouldn’t - just like a toddler. But I figured, what’s the worst that could happen? He needed a home and I needed a friend
For the first 2 days, Kiwi did not leave his cage once. He didn’t speak much either. He was obviously reserved and would need time to adjust. I’d read about this prior to rehoming him - parrots are intelligent and sensitive. It made sense he’d need time to adjust. To make his adjustment easier I bought him toys and I let him eat lots of his favourite treats. After a week, Kiwi was comfortable enough to climb out of his cage to get fruit or fly over to me whilst I was working. And then one day, he starts vocalising. For a parrot like an African Grey, they tend to pick up on all sorts of sounds around them. People report their Grey’s copying sounds like car alarms or microwave beeps. He began by saying ‘Hello Bozo’ each time I opened his cage in the morning. Then it was each time I entered the room. Next he began whistling when I turned on the TV. I can’t describe to you exactly how the tune goes, but it’s simple and melancholy like a traditional folk song or lullaby. It was cute most of the time, but it quickly got old. By the following week, Kiwi’s daily vocabulary was much larger. Like peeling off layers of an onion, Kiwi began revealing each his favourite terms and phrases he’d learnt over the years. Some were typical, like wolf whistles and kissing sounds, which somehow every parrot I’ve met has somehow picked up. I taught him some new phrases to, one particularly funny phrase he’d learnt was ‘get to the chopper’. Some were a little more obscure. I didn’t pay much attention when Kiwi first screamed out ‘help’, hell I just figured one of my dumb friends thought it would be funny to teach him it. That, or he’d heard it whilst I was binging horror movies which I’d been doing a lot since the breakup. I sort of expect him to pick up some nasty words and phrases.
Something I didn’t expect, though, was what happened next. It had been 3 weeks since Kiwi arrived in my home when he started repeating the numbers. It was 11 numbers he’d repeat in the same order each time. At first I shrugged it off - he’s said weirder things. Perhaps he’d seen an episode of countdown and liked the number round. To be honest, Kiwi had repeated the numbers so many times in succession I wasn’t even aware how the number started or ended. But after a couple of days of him calling out numbers I made a note on my phone.It wasn’t until I was entering my phone number for a food delivery that I realise Kiwi was reciting a phone number. 11 digits beginning with 07. That’s a UK mobile phone number. It seemed strange that he would know a mobile number. The TV adverts all started with 0800 or another business line. I tried Googling the number to no avail. Perhaps, I figured, they taught Kiwi a number that could be called if he got lost. Now, I would hate to deprive somebody of their family pet so I decided to try the number. The number rang 6 times and then disconnected without a voicemail to leave a message. Before I could call a second time, my phone began ringing. It was an unknown number. Now, I don’t usually pick up unknown numbers but something told me that this was connected to the number I just tried to contact. I was right…