Hello again, and welcome back to what is either the most bizarre thing I’ve ever experienced or my descent into madness! As much as I had hoped to avoid it, I’ve found myself directly in the middle of the craziness.. There have been several new developments since leaving the apartment. It’s taken a few days, but I finally found a few minutes to write about it.
After Sydney and Larry bashed the apartment door in and presumably saved me from Ollie, Larry told me to follow Syd. I got in her car and we left while Larry stayed behind to “talk” to Ollie.
Despite Ollie threatening me and the possibility that he was really a serial killer, I was uncomfortable thinking about what Larry might be doing to him. His suggestion that Larry might not be a “good guy” stuck with me. It was true that I was on Larry’s side because I met Larry first. Maybe I was doing the wrong thing, but I wasn’t about to complain about being saved. I wanted to find a nonchalant way to ask Sydney more about Larry.
“Where are we going?” I asked from the passenger seat of her not so inconspicuous orange jeep.
“Somewhere safe,” she calmly replied.
“Please don’t give me the vague responses and the cloak and dagger act.”
“What do you need to know, Frank?” she asked, sounding irritated. “Larry sent you a letter detailing everything.”
“I mean.. How did you end up involved?” I asked.
“I ran into Mike.. Larry when he was leaving the apartment the first time. He stopped at the gas station down the road. I approached him because the rent had been paid up for the next 6 months and I wasn’t sure why. I wasn’t mad about it, but I was confused.”
“Wait, what?!” I said. “Why have I been paying rent the last 2 months then?”
“Relax,” she said while almost cracking a smile. “Your rent money will be returned to you. You’re gonna need it.”
“For what?” I asked nervously.
“You’re gonna have to get off the grid. There are more people like Ollie who are gonna be after you, after both of us. There are the rebellious octopuses who see you as the key to getting to Larry. You need to keep your head low.. You’re also going to need a disguise.”
“Come on, really? A disguise?” I laughed.
“You have to take this seriously,” she said with a glare. “You’re in danger. We all are.”
“So, how do you factor in?” I asked. “You said you ran into Larry. What made you help him? Or.. Are you an octopus?”
“I’m human,” she replied. “Larry remembered me from the few times I came to the apartment in the past. When I asked about the rent, he asked if I would have a cup of coffee with him. I agreed. He quickly revealed himself to be Larry. It was tough to believe at first.. We got to talking about society, pollution, animal cruelty, politics, ect, and I realized that I agreed with him.”
“Do you ever worry that he’s just charismatic and manipulates us?” I asked nervously. “He’s helped me out and everything.. but we’re talking about helping another species overtake humans as the planet’s dominant species..”
She paused for a moment and lit a cigarette. She offered me one and I took it even though I don’t smoke.
“The way I see it, there are three potential outcomes,” she said in a very serious tone. “The people who are in charge now stay in charge. They continue to pollute the oceans, rip open the ozone layer, tear down the rainforest, destroy natural ecosystems, and your grandchildren end up living underground if they’re lucky..”
I tossed my cigarette out the window as she continued.
“If Jeff prevails, we slowly but surely end up living under a global dictatorship run by a psychopathic cephalopod. Or, we could help Larry. He only wants to prevent those outcomes. He doesn’t want to harm anyone that doesn’t deserve it.”
“How can you feel so certain about Larry?” I asked.
She looked at me and said, “Larry didn’t need to save you today. The only reason you are valuable to Jeff and Ollie’s group is that they know Larry will do whatever it takes to protect you. You are leverage to them because you are important to him..”
I sat quietly and thought about what she said. She had a point. They didn’t need to save me, unless there was something they needed me for. I can’t imagine what that would be though.
The rest of the ride was silent. I was trying to wrap my head around everything as Sydney pulled into the parking lot of a small motel.
“What are we doing here?” I asked.
“Waiting for Larry and showing you your new home.. temporarily.”
I followed her into one of the rooms of the seedy little motel. It wasn’t.. disgusting, but it wasn’t the ritz either.
“You can stay here or at the compound,” she said. “You’re gonna have to stay under the radar as much as possible. While we wait for Larry, I’m gonna grab some hair dye and some supplies. What do you like to eat? I’m guessing beer and Funyuns?”
“What am I, a college freshman?” I laughed.
“What would you like me to get?” She asked.
“I dunno.. I guess just some stuff for ham sandwiches or something like that? Do I really have to dye my hair?”
“If you’re gonna stay with us, you do. If not, I would still strongly recommend it. There are a lot of dangerous people after you, and their numbers are growing by the day.”
She put her coat in and grabbed her keys.
“I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll just be right next door,” she said. “So, ham, cheese, bread, and you’ll be good with that?”
I nodded as she walked toward the door.
“Wait!” I said.
“What is it?” She asked.
“Could you also grab some beer and Funyuns?”
She snickered as she walked out the door. I turned on the tv to try and take my mind off the situation for a minute. I felt a rush of relief as I laid back on the bed. I was exhausted. The blankets were somewhat dirty but I didn’t care. I just wanted to lay down and relax for a change.
I hadn’t realized how long it had been since I had a good night’s sleep. I dozed off and fell into a wonderful slumber for a few beautiful minutes.. ONLY TO BE AWAKENED BY SOMEONE BANGING ON THE DOOR!
It startled the shit out of me. I got up and instinctively went to open the door before realizing.. Sydney has the room key..
I slowly backed away from the door, desperately hoping that it was Larry and not one of the several people and non-people who wanted to do presumably terrible things to me.
I tiptoed backward through the room trying to find a good hiding spot. It was a very small room and there weren’t many options. There was a small closet area but no door. Very little room under the beds, not to mention that it would be the first place someone would check. Same with the shower. No back windows..
The knocking continued and started to get louder and more frequent. It sounded angry, like when a police officer knocks on the door. Having no other choice, I climbed underneath the bed. I had a small pocket knife with me as my only protection. I pulled it out and held my breath as I waited for whoever was at the door to hopefully leave.
Every time the knocking started again, it made me jump. It was loud and it had been going on for way too long. This wasn’t a maid. This wasn’t someone casually visiting. This was someone determined to get into the room..
As I waited in my very obvious hiding place, I heard a scraping noise coming from the door. They had given up knocking, and were now attempting to pick the lock. The small amount of hope I had that this wasn’t someone nefarious had faded away as I listened to them stab at the tumblers of the lock.
It didn’t take them long to break through after that. I could see their feet moving from under the bed. They both walked toward the bathroom and began searching in there. One of them walked out and stopped right in front of the bed I was underneath.
I held my breath as I sat there helplessly. I knew they would find me. He stopped walking and bent down. As he saw me he began to yell to his friend. He couldn’t get the words out before Sydney was on top of him choking him out. I hadn’t even seen her come in as the man hadn’t closed the door all the way.
I started crawling out from underneath the bed. The other guy came out from the bathroom and started waving a baseball bat. Sydney seemed to have the first one overpowered and was continuing to choke him unconscious. I tried to scurry away backwards on my butt as the other guy swung as a bat wildly.
I made it almost to the doorway when I saw something small hit the man in the neck. He reached for his neck and pulled out a small dart with a feather. Seconds later, he fell to the floor.
I was confused at what had happened until Larry came running in. He pulled the one guy off of Sydney. She had choked him out, but was struggling to get out from under his weight.
“Is that a freaking blow dart gun?!” I yelled.
“It’s a very handy tool,” Larry replied. “Now pack your shit. We have to move.”
“Who are these guys?” I asked.
“These look like Ollie’s friends..” Larry said. “Either way, someone knows where we are, so we gotta get moving quickly.”
“Why are they after us? What the hell do they want with me?” I asked.
“We’ll, you’re with us,” Larry replied. “I’m so sorry, buddy. You aren’t safe.. it’s my fault, and I truly am sorry. I will do everything I can to protect you. You just have to listen to me and do what I tell you to do. And relax, they weren’t after you. They were after Syd..”
“Why Syd? I asked.
Larry and Sydney looked at one another. It was clear that there was something they weren’t telling me. Larry started to answer, but then stopped speaking and gestured to Sydney to explain.
“I’m guessing you’ve been really confused lately as to who are human and who are octopuses. You’ve obviously seen a lot of bizarre stuff in a short period of time. It’s just gonna take some adjusting. I am completely and totally human. What is inside of me isn’t though..”
“I don’t understand,” I replied.
“There are octopuses gestating inside of me. I volunteered for this. The fact of the matter is that Larry is an exceptional octopus. Most of them have the abilities you’ve been seeing, but none of them can’t seem to access them as effectively as Larry. There is something he possesses that they don’t. We believe the same will be true for his offspring. I’m carrying those offspring.”
“You’re gonna be an uncle, Frank!” Larry said with a big, proud smile.
“Whoa.. so are you two like.. together?” I asked, confused.
“No,” Sydney laughed. “We did it artificially. I am essentially a voluntary host. I will carry the offspring until they are ready to live on their own at which point they will be surgically removed.
”I was dumbfounded. It felt like an afterschool special. Like they were telling me about the birds and the bees, just with a really strange twist.. They explained to me that both Ollie and his group as well as Jeff and his are after the offspring.
“We have a mollusk among us,” Larry said.
“A what?” I asked.
“It’s the term he uses for mole,” Syd explained.
“That’s hilarious,” I said as I rolled my eyes.
“No, it isn’t,” Larry replied in a very serious and somber tone. “Enough talking. Let’s get the hell out of here.”
We quickly packed up our stuff, as well as some towels and soaps from the motel. We all went out and got into Sydney‘s jeep.
“Are you riding with us?” She asked.
“We have to stick together from here on out,” Larry replied. “Let’s go to the warehouse. It’s the safest possible place.”
“The warehouse?” I asked.
“Get ready to have your mind blown, buddy,” Larry said with a laugh.
“I Think my mind has been blown enough,” I replied. “I’m probably developing a callus..”
“You’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg,” Larry said. “We just gotta lose these guys, then we’ll show you the place we’ve been working out of,” He said calmly.
“What guys?” Sydney asked.
“Blue truck and the white car,” Larry responded. “Just watch the road. We’ve got these guys.”
Larry pulled two large handguns out of the duffle bag. He loaded both and handed me one.
“The safety is off, Frank,” he said with a smirk. “Ready to get your hands dirty?..”