It was the first time I’ve had sleep paralysis. To cut it short I was having a random lucid dream and towards the end of it this is what happened. I was in a foreign to me place, I remember some guy saying ‘we’re way up north’ and I went outside to check out where I was and what was going on. In an instant I’m walking towards a wall to which I saw a leg poking out,(as if a person was lay upright). So naturally knowing it’s a dream and well who gives a fuck I walk up to said wall and then in an instant I felt immense pressure and a beautiful face, but with those dead white emerge staring deep into me.(In said moment I wasn’t scared more so startled, I was just taken aback by her beauty) within a few seconds I had opened my eyes irl and I still saw her for maybe 2/3 seconds until then she starts corroding and a deep abyss of I guess terror emerged.
During this time I felt strong pressure on my whole body and I was unable to breathe. Once I was able to catch a breath I snapped out of the trans and the moment was over with. The thing is, not for a second during that time was I frightened, even when the girl was corroding away in front of me I was still able to see her eyes looking deep into me. The only reason I wanted to move my arm just to try and grab ahold of her, I was just that mesmerised by her. I guess this sounds pretty weird but I actually want another occurrence like this to happen, just to be able to get a clearer view of her once again. During the day I tried my very best to keep onto the image of her face in my mind but as time went on the image faded and faded but I guess it’s how it works with such hallucinations.
But yeah I mean all in all just a brief story I guess of my sleep paralysis experience
Well since this initially got deleted due to lack of word minimum I’ll give a brief summary of my life the past few months and maybe as to why I was so calm about the whole experience. I’ve almost completly secluded myself from my friends and basically have no contact with my family(I live in sweden right now and they’re in the uk) The main reason for doing so it due to trying to fight off my co dependency and allow for myself to live with myself and not need an emotional crutch in others around me or partners to a full extent to how I may have previously have been. In the last 2 months I’ve been having nothing but nightmares, from killing done by me and to me, weird unexplainable feelings of unease during ‘normal’ dreams, and generally I’ve been full of anxiety more than ever in the last 7 years of my life. Leading back to nightmares, I’ve never been particularly scared of them just because I have the mental block of oh it’s my imagination, everything is made up and not real. But that still didn’t stop me from feeling un easy after some nightmares, like when walking past mirrors for example. However the last 2-3 weeks I’ve become so use to them I just don’t even get fazed anymore. But with that said is my reaction to the whole sleep paralysis ‘normal’ so to speak. In the sense of that I’m even keen on chasing that sensation again just because of how surreal the experience was even if it has such an evil connotation due to the nature of hallucinations, struggling to breathe and immobility and yet it made me feel good right after and like I said stunned by the face of the girl I saw rather than afraid.